A Collage of Broken Hearts
by titieli
Summary: Meredith Potter never expected her life to turn out the way it did. She lost the people she cared most about and somehow she fell for the one person she tried hardest to forget, only to lose him again. At 16 no one really takes a war seriously, but she and her friends are about to find out that this war is as tough as it can get. T because I'm paranoid. Sirius B./ OC.
1. Chapter 1

_**A Collage of Broken Hearts.**_

**Chapter 1:**

I sighed in content as I wriggled out of bed, my long blonde hair a tangled mess. Today was a sunny warm Monday, the beginning of the last week of August. In a week I'd be going back to Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to course my sixth year. I entered the bathroom and took a long nice shower, and then I brushed my teeth while I looked at the mirror. A young beautiful girl stared back at me; she had wavy blonde hair that reached her waist, and light brown eyes that looked honey when the light hit them, her nose was petite and her full lips were a dark natural pink, her skin was fair. She was tall, bordering on 5'10 and a half and skinny but that didn't mean she didn't have curves. I frowned at her; she frowned right back at me, reflecting my moves.

I hadn't always been like this. Two years ago I didn't even reached the 5'7 and my bra size was barely an A cup, but apparently my body had decided to change and now I was taller than all my girl friends and had gained two bra sizes, which meant I had a C cup now. It bothered me, though. My mother said that it had been the same for her, one year she was plain and the next she was strikingly gorgeous, she said it was a gift I should be thankful for, that beauty took you places plain people couldn't reach. I only wished I would stop growing, God forbid I grew taller than the boys. My physical appearance and my perfect notes gained me the title of Princess of Gryffindor; that, and the fact that I hang out with the most popular people of Hogwarts.

I shook my head and got dressed in a purple summer dress, trying to forget about my height for a second. My mother was tall and so was my father, my siblings had the same problem—except perhaps my little sister but she was only twelve, and even by twelve-year-old girls standards she was tall.—so I didn't have to worry about being a giant in my own house. The kitchen was on the first floor of the four story manor, those were the perks of coming from a wealthy family of purebloods. Our bloodline was so old it blurred in the past, no one was really able to know when it had started. And since Hogwarts had been created all members of my family had belong in Gryffindor.

"Good morning, everyone." I greeted as I entered the kitchen where my family was having breakfast. "Good morning, Glitter." I smiled at the elf, who hurried toward me.

The kitchen was vast, the floor was made of white marble and the counter and table were made out of finest mahogany. The window overlooked the front lawn. We had one house elf, Glimmer, a cute little elf that had been in my family for about 25 years.

"Good morning, Miss. Will Miss want some scrambled eggs?" she asked me, already going to make some scrambled eggs.

"No, thank you, Glitter. I am fine." I answered as I sat next to my father.

"Hi, mom, dad." I smiled.

My father raised his eyes from his copy of _The Prophet_ and gave me a warm smile; while my mother reached down to kiss my cheek. Ariadne and Christian, my twin siblings, raised an eyebrow at me at the same time. They were a year older than me, which meant they were about to start their seventh year at Hogwarts, and were as similar as a twin boy and girl could be. They were both dirty blonds and had striking hazel eyes; Christian was slightly taller than Ariadne. I met their gazes with a raised eyebrow of my own and they smirked, at the same time. Sometimes it was eerie, others plain annoying.

"What, no 'good morning' to us, little sister?" Christian asked me.

"Yeah, you can't possibly still be angry about yesterday night." Ariadne added, smiling sweetly at me.

Glimmer handed me a cup of steamy coffee and I smiled at her to show my gratitude. My sister's comment brought the attention of my parents, I grunted inwardly. Trust my sister to try to get me into trouble before breakfast was over.

"What about yesterday night?" My mother inquired, her honey brown eyes meeting my own. "You did not try to go to that party, did you? You know I didn't want you to go."

"No, of course not. She was talking about her borrowing my shoes without asking me." I lied quickly, shooting my siblings a glare.

My parents nodded and I looked down at my cup of coffee, the rest of them going back to their breakfasts. I hated lying to them but there was no way mom and dad could know I did want to go yesterday, and that I had begged Ariadne to take me and neither her nor Christian gave in. I had spent the last weekend of August in my home while the entire teenage population of magical Europe went to this party. Even the girls from Beauxbatons and the boys from Durmstrang had attended.

"Your mail, Miss." Glimmer handed me a bunch of envelopes.

I sorted through them. There was a copy of _The Prophet,_ a letter from James Potter, my cousin, a letter from Marlene McKinnon, one from Lily Evans and a copy of _Hogwarts: a gossip. _I placed the letters apart and opened the magazine. It was something very lame, actually, but no one stopped reading it. It had started a few years before I went to Hogwarts. No one really knew who started it or wrote it but everyone read it anyway. It talked about Hogwarts' highest elite and/or the biggest gossip happening at the moment. From the cover of the small paper, no other than Ariadne Potter laughed and blew kisses my way. I rolled my eyes; of course the front page would be about the party from last night. I opened it and started to read, having to move it a little bit until the letters came into focus. I needed glasses only to read but I had left them on my room.

_For those of you who don't know, and if that's the case please return this copy to its rightful owner, Ariadne Potter, perfect as usual, is featuring on the front page in what was probably the best party of the year. We had the opportunity to see many well-known faces, like Lily Evans, Sirius Black, the eternal Casanova who at least snogged five lucky ladies and got to take two different ones home; James Potter, who persecuted Lily in vain, as always; Marlene McKinnon, Evelyn Rosier, Christian Potter, who was loyal to his girlfriend and didn't do anything he'd regret; Jeremiah Wood, who didn't even last two hours sober; Dorcas Meadowes, who surprised us all by going solo; and we were even blessed with the presence of Remus Lupin, the adorable young boy who hadn't showed his face all summer. We had missed you, Remus, glad to know you're back._

_We were even granted with the company of the drop-dead-hot Prewett brothers, who made that party go crazy. And that's only the London part of the party. Young wizards and witches of all Europe attended, not wanting to miss an event that had been full of promises. _

_There was music, three different dance floors, many buffet tables that had any kind of food you wanted, thanks to the house-elves, any kind of entertainment you desired, and, of course, the one thing we all really care about: lots and lots of alcohol. From fire whisky to muggle drinks to a mix of both magical and muggle beverages. _

_It occurs to me that this might not have been such a good idea, the consequences were horrendous and many of them will wake up today without knowing where they are, but where would this lovely paper be without their indiscretions? It appears that this young crowd decided to end the summer with a flourish, and who am I to judge? The entire adolescent population went to this event, well, maybe not all of it. _

_Where was the lovely Princess of Gryffindor? None of us had the pleasure of encountering the gorgeous Meredith Potter, even though various members of her family were present. Has the Princess finally been dethroned by Marlene McKinnon? Or did she think it would be ideal to allow the night to be Sirius Black's, Prince of Gryffindor? Whatever the reason for your not being there, we want you to know, My Highness, that you were greatly missed. A party is not a party without the one who makes all the calls, after all._

"Hey, look I'm on the front page!" Ariadne laughed as she read the paper.

I closed the article, not wanting to read more, and smiled at my sister's amusement. I did not think it wise to tell her that apart from being mentioned once, the article did not talk about her. I was sure there were at least another two pages about who did who and who fell on the punch bowl, _that_ always happened somehow. There'd have been an entire page about me and what I had done, had I assisted. They'd talk about my clothes and who I fought with or who I snogged or who I talked to all night. I was pretty sure there was an article about Black and another about Marlene somewhere inside the paper but I didn't want to know. I knew them; there was no fun in reading things you already knew about. I took one of the letters and opened it, not bothering to know whose it was.

_Oh, My Dear Highness,_

_I, Lord Potter, inquire as to why you have not assisted the greatest of parties ever known to mankind. It pains me, because, had you been there, I might have gotten Evans to like me. She's always nicest to me when you're around, thank Merlin you're her friend. Going back to the matter of the party, it was so wild I'm still drunk. I don't even know what I'm writing and I hope I at least wrote the right address because other wise this would be very awkward, Professor McGonagall if this reaches you please do not take points from Gryffindor, the school year hasn't started yet, be cool…_

I stopped reading, trying to contain my giggles but to no avail. Seeing as though I was a 'princess' James thought he ought to be royal as well, it was an inside joke he and I shared but he had never taken it this far. That itself showed how truly drunk my crazy cousin was, but the fact that he admitted it expressed how really gone he was. I was sure he wouldn't even remember writing the letter, let alone sending it.

"You have got to see this." I laughed as I passed the letter to Ariadne and Chris.

It hadn't been two minutes when both of them were in hysterics. They had bothered to read the entire letter and I was sure it was full of incoherencies. I knew they wouldn't let poor James live this down but it was too good an opportunity and besides, James always made pranks on me. It was time someone pranked him in return, or at least tried. I took Marlene's letter and read it. She talked to me about her last week, not mentioning the party at all but at the end was a rushed postscript that said:

_P.S. I did something very stupid last night. I tried to throw myself at Remus, well, that but minus the 'tried'. What am I supposed to do now? Please, please, don't tell anyone. I'm so embarrassed._

I shook my head; this was why I had to go. Sometimes my friends decided to do crazy things, things so crazy not even the marauders would like to do, and I had to stop them. My mother, however, didn't understand this and, seeing as though she had caught me sneaking out _twice_, had grounded me. No parties or friends until Hogwarts started. With a sigh I opened Lily's letter but my head was elsewhere, and I only caught pieces of it. _James is driving me crazy, Mere, can you please ask him to stop?_, or _I don't even know why I went_ and _Tunney is getting married next summer, she hates me more than ever. Mom and Dad don't know what to do about it._ That last sentence caught my attention. Petunia was getting married to that Dursley dude? Well, that was very bad. I rose from my chair and started to walk out of the room, Lily's letter in one hand and Marlene's in the other.

"Mere, where are you going?" Chris asked me.

"I'll be in my room." I answered absentmindedly as I started to read the whole letter.

Once I reached the relatively large room, I went to my desk and got a piece of paper and my favourite quill. I'm grounded. I'll try to convince my parents of allowing me to visit James and then I'll floo to your house from there. Don't worry, we'll figure something out.

I folded the piece of paper and went to the birdcage in the left corner of the room, the one that was closest to the window. In it was my Tawny Owl, her name was Urania and my parents got her for me in my eleventh birthday.

"Hi, girl, you want to go out?" I asked her as I opened the little door.

She stirred and walked toward the opened door, jumping out of it and flying to my desk. I went over to her and tied the folded note to her little leg, letting her affectionately pick slightly at my other hand.

"Take this to Marlene and then find me." I explained to her and she took flight.

I sat down again and started to write a letter for Lily, telling her that if her sister kept giving her trouble, she could always stay at my house for Christmas break and explaining to her that James had good intentions, he just had bad methods and promising that I'd talk to him about it. I put it in an envelope and wrote in the front _Lily Evans, Number 10, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey._

"Delilah, Meredith, Hogwarts letters are here." Mom called out to us.

I got up and took the letter with me, grabbing my wand from the bedside table as I made for the door. I heard a muffled 'it's too early.' whine from across the wall and laughed. Of course my sister would think 10 A.M. was early. I walked down the stairs and straight into the kitchen, snatching my Hogwarts letter from Dad's hand and going straight to the front door.

"Where do you think you're going? You're grounded." Mother called and I cursed under my breath.

"I know, mom, but it's just James. Please, I haven't seen him in ages and we always receive our Hogwarts letter together." I told her, not moving away from the door.

I waited a few seconds for her to give in. She knew how close James and I were and it wasn't like we could go out. He was surely still passed out on the couch. She finally told me it was fine but I had to be here by dinner, and I left. James and I both lived in Godric's Hollow. The oldest part of it, to be exact, and he lived three houses down from mine. My father and his father were very close, as close as siblings could be, and that meant James and I had practically shared a crib.

I went pass the magical barriers that protected the house—the home of those who are part of The Order of the Phoenix had many magical barriers, the most important being the blood barrier that only allowed those connected by blood to enter It.—without any problem and opened the door, not even bothering to knock. To me, the blood barrier was a little over the top. But everyone seemed to be taking this 'Dark Lord' dude way too seriously. It wasn't like he had killed anyone, really, he just went around with a bunch of people who followed him and protested for a bunch of stuff like muggle-borns and purifying blood or something like that. But the Order of the Phoenix actually believed he was for real, that he truly wanted to eradicate all the muggle-born witches and wizards, all the blood traitors as well. But that was impossible, there were thousands of muggle-borns in the world, thousands of half-bloods, he surely wouldn't kill all of them.

My aunt wasn't at the kitchen and neither was my uncle. I had expected them to be having breakfast but apparently they had started the day early. I started to walk to the living room, where I'd probably find James on the couch, when something caught my eye. The door to the drawing room was wide open and someone was inside. I peered at the door and rolled my eyes.

Sitting on the couch and in a tangled mess of limps was Sirius Black and another girl I had never seen in my life. He was snogging the living lights out of her and none of them had noticed me entering the room. I cleared my throat as I crossed my arms, wand in my right hand and the letter for Lily in my left one. The unknown girl jumped and broke from the kiss, looking at me with an annoyed look on her face, although it did take some time for her to get her breath back. Black, however, didn't even flinch like being interrupted was perfectly normal.

"Black, a word, please?" I asked him, ignoring the girl.

He rolled his eyes but stood and walked over to me anyway. Once he reached me, he crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at me expectantly. Black was taller than me by more than a few inches, while I stood at 5'10 he stood at 6' feet. To say we didn't get along was an understatement. It hadn't always been that way, though. We used to be very close, even dated back in third year, but then we reached fifteen and he turned into a man-whore and I… well, I wasn't exactly a saint, either. He moved in with James' family when his family's abuse became too much for any of us to bear, sometime last year.

"What do you want? I'm busy." He snapped at me, brushing his black hair out of his eyes.

"Where are my aunt and uncle?" I demanded, acting like I hadn't even heard him.

"William is at the ministry and Andrea went to visit Andromeda, she's having trouble with Nymphadora." He explained.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, slightly worried.

Andromeda Tonks was Black's cousin. She had been a Black but her family kicked her out when she fell in love with a muggle-born. They got married and had a lovely little girl, Nymphadora Tonks; she was eight years old and a metarmorphmagus, which sometimes brought them trouble.

"Nothing, Andy can't get her to change her hair colour back to brown. She's spent the last two weeks with her hair fluorescent orange and has denied eating anything other than orange food." He told me, his silver eyes shining with amusement.

"Right," I said, fighting a smile. It was funny. "And James?"

"What's this, Potter? Are you telling me you didn't come all the way down here to see me?" he teased and I did smirk this time.

Sometimes, I got a glimpse of the old friendship we had had. And more times than not, I found myself waiting for those moments. But they usually disappeared as fast as they appeared so I didn't let him see I actually missed him so, instead, I acted like I didn't care. I didn't smile a genuine smile at him, I didn't laugh at his jokes or pranks because doing those things meant _caring_. But smirking was a different story, smirks meant sarcasm, they meant I'm above you. It sounded very Slytherin of me to think that but they did say that Slytherin and Gryffindor were the houses that were most alike and, sometimes, I couldn't help but take a little leaf from their book.

"Sorry to break your heart," I shrugged, my eyes going to the girl on the couch.

She was now looking at us expectantly, a frowned etched into her features. Black followed my gaze and sighed, looking to the hallway when the girl met his eyes.

"Who is she, anyway? I've never seen her, at least, I don't think." I commented, my voice hushed so she wouldn't hear us.

"That's… Regina… something, we met yesterday." He said, lowering his voice level as well.

It would have been very bad if the girl found out he couldn't even remember her full name. I examined the girl. She had blonde wavy hair, blue eyes and a straight nose, her skin tone was weird, like she had tanned it too much. Not exactly pretty. That's not what shocked me, what did was that she couldn't be older than fourteen. I turned my killing glare on Black, who at least had the decency to take a step back.

"How old is she? Does she even go to Hogwarts?" I hissed, taking a step toward him.

Before he could answer the girl cleared her throat and we both turned to look at her. She stood up and fixed her dress, which was the same she had been wearing last night, of course, and walked toward us. A confident look was on her face but I could tell she wasn't feeling so confident.

"I'm Regina Niké, and you are?" She asked me, offering me her hand.

"I'm Meredith Potter. It's a pleasure to meet you, Regina." I said as I shook her hand, my manners winning over my disdain.

I was slightly surprised over the fact that she had asked for my name. If she went to Hogwarts she'd know who I was. Sure, I wasn't wearing any make-up or fancy clothes at the moment but it was still me.

"I do go to Hogwarts; I'll start my fifth year in September." She added.

I almost flushed out of embarrassment. She had heard what I said, how more embarrassing could this be? And she was polite enough to introduce herself and act like she didn't know me. She tugged at the hem of her dress and I felt bad for her. I remembered what it was like to be fourteen, last night was probably her first real party and she had gone home with no other than Sirius Black. That was practically going from peasant to duchess in a matter of seconds. Then a thought occurred to me. What if she had been a virgin before tonight? I really hoped not. Your first time should always be with someone special, someone you knew would treat you right, someone you _trusted_. Not with a boy who wouldn't even owl you to wish you a happy new year.

"Well, that's great." I muttered. "Um, you know what? I just wanted to use your floo network. I'm going over to Marlene's." I turned to Black, who was trying to contain his laughter at me, there's no doubt.

"Ugh, shut up." I shoved him and he lifted up his hands, still not talking.

Regina stood between us, glancing from Black to me and again and I got the feeling she was feeling a little left out so I turned around and started walking down the hallway to the living room.

"Don't tell anyone I was here, only James." I called over my shoulder.

Once I stepped into the chimney and grabbed enough floo powder, I yelled the address as clear as I could and disappeared in green flames.

"What if he hates me? He sure does. This is awful, Mere, his one of my closest friends. Why do I have to be such a whore?" Marlene whined as she buried her face on her pillow.

I was sitting next to her, Urania sitting in my stretched arm. I hadn't sent Lily's letter yet but I'd do that before I left. Since I came here, Marlene had done nothing but whine. No matter what I said she wouldn't believe me when I repeated over and over again that Remus had probably already forgiven her.

"Mar, he doesn't hate you. And I assure you, you are not a whore." I consoled her.

She peered at me from under the pillow and pouted. I smiled at her reassuringly. She wasn't a whore, people were just idiots. She slowly sat up, her blonde hair was all over the place with freeze and her make-up was smudge so she looked like someone had given her a black eye. I shook my head and grabbed my wand, moving my arm so Urania would fly away. She squeaked and shot me a look but flied to the window sill. With a twist of my wand Marlene's face was clean of any make-up and with another her hair was perfectly combed.

"There, all pretty." I told her and she smiled at me.

"Ugh, you are the best." She gushed as she hugged me and I laugh, hugging her back.

"All better?" I asked and she nodded. "Good, wanna go see if James's still asleep? We could wake him up... by pouring cold water into him."

She giggled and nodded, walking to her bathroom so she could get dressed. I walked over to the window sill and gave Urania the letter for Lily. She flew without me having to tell her where to go and I watched until she disappeared into the horizon.

**_A/N: so, new story. this is written around the marauders sixth year at hogwarts and will continue throughout the entire first war and maybe the second I'm not sure yet. it might or might not be canon, still not sure, but most likely will. this is how i picture the characters, maybe they werent like this at all, i dont know. we dont know. but, anyways, i've discovered i'm in love with all of them and this story came up. as to meredith and her family, it is known that the potters were supossedly a big family, so there is a possibility of james having a cousin. anyway, enjoy and review/ favorite. i'd love that. xoxo, me. _**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2:_**

Three days before the first of September every student, no matter how old, went to Diagon Alley. Whether it was to buy their new school books or to just meet with their friends, didn't matter. We were no exception, when it came to Diagon Alley. That's why right now I was standing in front of Quality Quidditch Supplies, bored out of my mind, mind you, with a very excited James Potter, who was ogling at the displayed broom.

"It is gorgeous," He mumbled. "I've got to have it."

I looked over his shoulder at the 'gorgeous' broom, having to fight my way through the other teenagers so I could reach the front where James was. To me it was really just polished wood and straw but to the entire male population, and some of the female, it was God's gift to the Wizarding World.

"Aunt Drea won't allow you. You just bought one." I told him, eyeing the object in question.

"But I think I'm in love." He said. His tone was serious.

I turned to look at him and smiled. His hazel eyes were widened and his glasses were falling down his nose-bridge, his black hair was all over the place around his head and his mouth was in an adorable pout. A mastered look anyone would fall for, anyone except me. I grabbed the sleeve of his black robe and started to walk away from the mob that was looking at the shop's latest merchandise.

"Imagine what Lily would think if she heard that," I joked as I tied his opened black robe in the front.

"What, what would she think? You won't tell her, will you?" he asked me.

I shook my head and passed my hands through his robe's sleeves so they wouldn't be wrinkled, then I started to fix his hair, which was a difficult task, until it didn't look like he had just gotten out of bed.

"I don't know, James, she doesn't tell me much about…you know, you." I hesitated. My honey-coloured eyes met his and I sighed, I could tell he really needed the information. "But don't you think it'd be better for everyone if you got over her?"

The look he gave me would have make Voldemort himself proud. I even considered taking a step back, but I was a Gryffindor and we were not cowards. I matched his glare and crossed my arms until he sighed, one hand going to his hair and ruining my job.

"I'm in love with her, Meredith. It's not a stupid crush." He explained. I felt a pang on my chest at the crushed look in his eyes.

"I know." I linked my arm with his and started walking away from the store.

I hated their situation and, sometimes, like now, I hated Lily Evans for breaking my cousin's heart every time she got. I understood James could be a little immature now and then, and that his pranks sometimes crossed the line and that, yes, his tactics to win Lily weren't great but he was adorably nice and loyal and incredibly good-looking. Was it so hard for her to give him one chance? Apparently, yes. I loved Lily but I loved James more, he was family after all, so I had to admit I was a little biased and Lily knew this, so James was a little off topic for us. If only James would find a way for her to notice him without making an idiot out of himself.

"Wait a minute," I stopped walking and James had to as well, my arm pulling him back. "She doesn't like you because you're immature and harass her."

"Merlin, thank you, Meredith." He mumbled but I laughed as I turned to face him.

"No, no," I put my hands on his shoulders. "What if you weren't like that? She'd definitely like you, I'm sure."

"But I want her to fancy me for me, not a fake." James mumbled.

"Yes, but, what if you didn't act like you at first and then showed her the true you? Not the joker, the mature you that I know is somewhere in there," I explained, scrunching my brows together.

"What are you saying?" he asked, his eyes filled with hope.

"I'm saying it's time you act like _you_ don't care for a change," I said as I started to explain my idea to him.

The plan was simple. Lily hated it when James proclaimed his love for her at the top of his lungs; it embarrassed her and made her think it wasn't for real. So James would not do that in the entire year. Instead, he would be nice to her and polite and would actually accept no for an answer and then, with my help, he'd ask her out for the Christmas Ball my aunt always hosted. She would have to say yes and in the case that she didn't, I'd make sure she at least danced twice with James that evening. While dancing he'd get to show her how mature he was and how nice and she'd have to admit to liking him.

"Wow, I've got to say padfoot would be proud of that plan," James whistled as he nodded at me.

I rolled my eyes at the mention of Black and he laughed, ruffling my recently straightened hair. I moved out of the way but he followed me so we ended up running around Diagon Alley, me trying to save my hair and him simply trying to annoy me. People got out of the way so we could pass by, some of them smiled at us; others shook their heads disapprovingly and muttered something about teenagers not understanding the situation was too bad to play around. Eventually though, James caught up to me and decided to tickle me.

"Okay, stop, James, please." I laughed as I tried to squirm out of his arms.

"All right, so you really think this plan of yours will work." He asked me, letting go off me.

"Absolutely," I nodded. I was following my intuition and that usually led me to good things.

"Meredith," someone called out from Flourish and Blotts.

We both turned to see a twelve-year-old girl with long dark hair twisted up in a pony-tail and hazel eyes beckoning us to enter the shop. It was Delilah Potter, my little sister. We walked to the already-full shop; everyone was trying to buy their books, we followed her all the way to the back, where my parents and James' parents were.

"Oh, there you are you two." Andrea Potter said, relieved.

She straightened her son's robe and glasses and then took him away, ordering him to get his books and be responsible for once. His father, however, simply shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips, and followed them but not before sending a wink my way. I laughed and turned to my own family. My mother wore a worried frown on her beautiful face, but even that made her look more beautiful, somehow, her blonde hair was neatly combed and cascaded down her back. My father was helping Delilah with one particularly large book, which I recognize to be History of Magic Volume II.

"Where are Chris and Ari?" I wondered, looking around.

"They already bought everything; I think they went to the Leaky Cauldron." My mother explained, handing me my Hogwarts letter. "Now, come, let's buy all of your books."

She gave me a small smile, which I returned, and lead us toward the front of the shop, where my Ancient Runes book was supposed to be. In Hogwarts, I studied Ancient Runes, History of Magic, Divination, Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, unfortunately for me, and Defence Against the Dark Arts, which was taught by my own mother. My mother was an auror but had decided to retire when she found out she was pregnant with the twins and Dumbledore, Hogwarts' Headmaster, offered her a job at school as teacher.

"Well, that's about it." she muttered once we had paid for all the books. "I'll take this home, you can buy the rest of the stuff you need. James is outside with Sirius and Marlene is at Madam Malkin's…" her voice trailed off and got lost in the buzzing of the store.

"I'm grounded, remember, mom?" I asked her, trying to keep the hopeful tone out of my voice.

Somewhere near us a child started bawling and his mother ordered him to be silent but that only made him cry harder, on the other side of the shop the manager was trying to control the paying line. The place truly was a mess; I couldn't wait to get out.

"I know but I think I saw Fabian somewhere outside," She commented and I squealed, hugging her.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." I exclaimed. "You're the best mum ever."

I gave her a kiss on the cheek before running outside the shop, avoiding the big piles of books and veering around the witches and wizards; once I was out of the shop, I found James right outside like my mother had said. He was talking to Sirius animatedly; Black had an impress look on his face. Maybe he was filling him in about the getting-Lily-to-like-James plan. I walked up to them and jumped on James's back, making him stumble.

"Very lady-like of you, Potter," Black said, raising his eyebrows at me but I ignored him.

"I'm not grounded anymore." I beamed at James over his shoulder, he beamed back.

"That means you can help me with Evans today." He said and I laughed.

"And you can help me find Fabian, he's here somewhere," I got off of him and stood beside him.

He could be happy about me being free, you know, show a little bit of selflessness. Black excused himself, saying something about finding Regina, I didn't really care, and James and I started to walk around, trying to find someone we knew. I found him at Gambol and Japes', which was not surprising, really. He was wearing some jeans and a simple black shirt under his brown robe, his red hair in a just-got-out-of-my-broom fashion and his brown eyes shinning with the prospect of a prank. I shook my head, he had graduated from Hogwarts two years ago and he was about to become an auror, he shouldn't be thinking about pranks.

"Hello," I said nonchalantly as I walked up to him.

He turned at the sound of my voice and smiled, showing me his beautiful straight teeth. I had been going out with Fabian for a month and two weeks now. He was my official boyfriend, something I hadn't had since I dated Black, actually. James started to walk around the shop, looking for new stuff and most likely planning a welcome-back-to-school prank. Fabian put his arms around me as he gave me a soft kiss, making my heart flutter.

"Hey, I was already leaving." He commented.

"Mmm, no." I pouted, putting my arms around his torso. "Let's get an ice cream, yes?"

He laughed and kissed my nose, making me scrunch up my nose and snuck out my tongue at him.

"Whatever you want," he said as he veered us to the exit. "But weren't you grounded?"

I told James we were leaving and he nodded, saying he'd catch up to us later. We pushed through the doors and started to walk down the alley, we passed several shops but nothing really got our attention. The late summer breeze pushed my waist-long hair back, some of its strands getting into my face, I pushed them back with one hand.

"Mum's being out of character and allowed me to stay for a while. She even told me she'd seen you." I told him, lacing our fingers together.

I was actually pretty sure she had allowed me to stay simply because I'd be with Fabian. My mother had never ever met any of my dates, only Black and Fabian so for her he was kind of the second boy I'd ever really dated. One would think my mother would know more about my life than she knew, seeing as though she was my teacher, but apparently she preferred to stay in the dark. We entered Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and grabbed a seat.

"What would you like?" Fabian asked me.

"Raspberry with peanuts." I answered automatically.

He nodded and went to the counter. Florean Fortescue himself took his order and two cups of ice cream magically filled themselves. One had raspberry ice cream with peanuts over it and the other had blue moon ice cream with blueberries. Suddenly the door opened and in came Lily Evans. She beamed at me and made her way over, leaning over to hug me tightly.

"Oh, I've missed you, Mer." She gushed.

"I've missed you, too. Why did you not tell me you were coming here?" I demanded, pretending anger.

"I thought it was obvious." She shrugged.

Our conversation had taken only seconds and we watched as Fabian paid one galleon and two sickles for both ice creams and made his way over the table. He smiled at Lily and kissed her cheek. He sat down next to me and handed me my ice cream, which I happily took.

"Here you go, gorgeous." He said to me.

I glanced at Lily to see how she smiled widely at me and then took a spoonful of ice cream. I loved this flavour, it was my favourite. It was smooth and sweet and the peanuts were salty and the difference of tastes was great.

"I love this thing, I'm serious." I said as I licked my spoon.

"No, _I'm_ Sirius," A voice reached us and I groaned, burying my face in Fabian's shoulder.

This wasn't happening; this couldn't be happening. I was with my boyfriend, a lovely guy who didn't care I had kind of a reputation and who was drop-dead-hot. I did_ not _need Sirius Orion Black bothering me, that was for sure. It was kind of my fault; I did walk myself to that one but it wasn't like I knew he was around.

"Kill me, please, Fabian, if you care about me in the slightest, you'll kill me," I mumbled into his shirt, his body shook with uncontained laughter.

I heard Lily saying hi to Black excitedly. She might hate my cousin but she got along pretty well with Black and Remus; everyone did, now that I thought about it. She was introduced to Regina and even I could hear the sympathy in her voice.

"He's not that bad." He whispered back to me.

I lifted my head to face Black and Regina, who were now standing right in front of us. She was wearing a lovely blue dress with black tights under it and a dark blue robe above it all, her blonde hair was brushed up in a pony-tail and her make-up was perfectly done. It made her noticeable, but not pretty. Noticeable was good enough for Black, sometimes. Black was as immaculate as always. His hair was still falling into his grey eyes and his white shirt contrasted against his black robe. It all gave him that mysterious aura that girls all ages fawned over. If only they knew he wasn't that mysterious.

"Hi, Regina, how are you doing?" I asked her, smiling politely.

"I'm great," she smiled back. "Do you mind?" she signalled to the chair in front of us.

I nodded, not even sparing Black a glance, and went back to my raspberry ice cream. Fabian gave me a kiss on the temple; I smiled at him and gave him a peck on the lips. Lily sighed, i rolled my eyes. She was doing it on purpose.

"Too much public display of affection," Black said as he pulled out the wooden chair and sat down. His arm flung out and rested on the back of Regina's chair.

"Then leave." I told him.

"I don't understand why you don't like me, honestly." He shot back and I fought the urge to snort.

"Clearly you haven't met yourself." I arched an eyebrow, meeting his eyes.

His eyes blazed with hatred ad I glared back. For a moment, I thought I had actually crossed the line but then he looked over at Regina and asked what ice cream she wanted. She said she wanted pistachio and he went over to the counter. Regina smiled at him until he was talking to Mr. Fortescue, then she turned to us, her smile gone.

"I need your help, please." She begged me.

"What?" I blurted, glancing over at Fabian who simply shrugged.

"I really like him but I know nothing about him, not even his middle name and sometimes I say something he doesn't like and well…" she trailed off, staring down at her hands.

I felt bad for her. She actually believed she'd be the one to make Black settle down, as if that was happening. She wouldn't last the week. I sighed, grabbing the ends of my hair. Regina was nice and for being someone Black had just met, she had lasted a while. Usually he just slept with them and then dumped them, but they had met three days ago and she was still here. That was progress. My eyes met Lily's green ones. She nodded at me once and I inwardly sighed, of course she wanted me to be nice to Regina.

"Why come to me? If you hadn't notice, we don't exactly get along." I said, going back to my ice cream.

"Because you've known him for longer and because I've read _Hogwarts: A Gossip_ since I was eleven years old. You two dated for _two_ years. You must have done something right." she explained.

_Obviously not_, I thought, _otherwise you wouldn't be here._ The thought was bitter-sweet in a way and that surprised me. If I had done something right, we wouldn't have broken up. If we hadn't broken up, she wouldn't be putting me in this situation and Black and I would probably still be together. I shook my head. What the hell was wrong with me lately? I had been thinking about him and me a lot lately. _Pull yourself together._

"I—fine, ugh," my eyes went to the front counter, where Mr. Fortescue was taking longer than necessary with Black's order.

"All right, here are the highlights. His full name's Sirius Orion Black, he loves sweets, especially Chocolate cauldrons, his friends always come first, he's incredibly smart but don't talk about DADA with him, it's kind of a sore spot. Oh, and_ never_ mention his family."—I paused for a minute, my eyes going from Regina to Black, who was already paying, and back to the girl.—"And I mean the Blacks, you can mention James and my aunt and uncle whenever you want, he adores them."

I leaned into Fabian once I was finished and let out a breath; I had said all that in one breath. Regina nodded, taking it all in. None of us spoke. Lily mumbled a 'whoah' under her breath but remained silent. Then, Fabian whistled.

"For someone who hates him you sure know a lot." He mumbled and I turned to look at him.

"You're not jealous, are you?" I asked him. He avoided my eyes and I frowned, shooting Regina a glare.

"Don't be stupid, Fabian. I can't stand the toe-rag. He's my cousin's best friend; of course I know things about him." I told him. He nodded and put his arms around me again.

"Okay… anything else I should know?" Regina asked. The air around us turned suddenly awkward.

"About what?" Black asked us as he sat down next to her. Regina jumped two feet into the air, her knee bumping the table.

The poor girl shot me an alarmed look, which, unfortunately for her, didn't go unnoticed by Black. Great, now I had four pairs of eyes staring down at me expectantly. I had already finished my ice cream so I couldn't use it as a distraction. The talking around the small parlour got louder as more costumers entered the place, already done with their shopping.

"Hair-straightening potion." I shrugged, faking boredom.

"But her hair's already straight." He pointed, taking a strand of her blonde hair between his fingers.

Regina tensed slightly under the touch; almost making it look like she thought Black could tell I was lying and know what we had been talking about by touching her hair. _Well, that's great, Meredith,_ I thought,_ couldn't you look at her hair first?_ I didn't say this, though. Instead I rolled my eyes and said:

"Why do you think? Her potion is not working for her so I taught her mine."

The trick with lying was making eye contact. If you made eye contact and didn't fiddle much people believed you were telling the truth. Of course there was the 'thing' everyone had that gave you away. Mine had always been biting the inner corner of my bottom lip. Not many knew this and I wasn't sure if Black knew or not, so I was extremely careful not to bite it.

"All right." Black shrugged and focused on his treat. Regina sent a grateful smile my way and I returned it.

"Can we go? I need to buy some Unicorn tail hair and some lavender." I said to Fabian and Lily.

"Sure, let's go." Lily said as she got up.

"I have to leave soon, anyway. Nice meeting you, Regina." Fabian smiled at her and pulled me up from the table.

"Oh, all right." I frowned, not really wanting him to go. "Well, see you at Hogwarts, Regina; Black."

Black frowned at me but didn't say anything, which was strange. Regina waved at us before turning to Black and starting to talk animatedly. I shook my head at the same time Fabian chuckled at them.

"I feel bad for her, she won't last two weeks." I said as the door closed behind us.

"Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? Perhaps she's the future Mrs. Black." Fabian joked. I giggled at that. Black setting roots somewhere with a woman? Yeah, right.

"I doubt it, which is a shame. She's adorable." Lily said to us as she pulled her hair up in a high ponytail.

"Yeah, and he'll ruin her." He commented. Lily and I sighed, agreeing with him.

**A/N: oh, my god, you guys. I'm confused, mayorly confused here. please tell me, should I make this story canon or not? I keep picturing it being canon but then I imagine a complete different story with Lily and James alive so please please please tell me what to do. thank you, xx.**


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3:_**

The week passed by quickly and before any of us knew it we were already in Platform 9 ¾ saying good-bye to our parents. Marlene was hugging her mother at one side of the train, Mary McDonald and her sister were talking heatedly, Wood was lazily saying good bye to his family and James and Black were saying good-bye to a very emotional Andrea Potter.

"You sure you got everything?" My mother asked the twins for the fifth time.

"Yes, mom, calm down. We will be fine," Christian said as he pulled her toward him and hugged her.

"I know, take care of your sisters, all right? All of them," My mother sniffed.

She had been very worried since _The Prophet_ published an article about Voldemort's forces getting stronger and about many dark marks appearing around places where muggle-borns lived.

"Let's have one last hug, all of us," She opened his arms and we all stepped in, Delilah, Ariadne and I, even Dad.

"Love, you'll see them at school tonight," My father said once we broke apart.

"Yes, I know," She nodded as she leaned into him.

Dad put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, making me smile. It wasn't every day that they acted this way but when they did it I thought it was adorable. Ariadne and Christian got into the train first, already talking to their friends. I stayed behind ad waited for Lily. Delilah tugged at my sleeve nervously.

"Can I stay at your compartment today?" She asked me, biting her lip.

"Why, sweetie? What about your friends?" I asked her.

"They'll be fine without me," She pouted.

She looked very nervous, her hazel eyes were widened and her bottom lip was starting to quiver. I could tell she was about to cry, _The Prophet_'s article had clearly scared her. I knew she shouldn't have read it but we had been playing the piano together, something we did every noon when we were home, and Christian had brought over the paper with a worried look on his face, Delilah had read it over my shoulder. She didn't sleep that night.

"Fine, you can be with us," I smiled. "Look, there's Lily."

"How's Fabian?" Mary asked me halfway to Hogwarts.

I turned my eyes from the window and looked at her. Mary wasn't pretty, her face was rounded and her brown eyes were too big. Her hair was a dull brown. But what she didn't have in looks she had in personality. She was nice to everyone and smart and saw all the good in people.

"He's... fine, the ministry is sending him in a lot of missions. He graduates next year but they need more numbers, it's mainly for precaution," I explained carefully, not wanting my little sister to get more scared.

Lily nodded, understanding my problem. Marlene shot a glance at Delilah who was once again biting her lips. We fell silent after that, knowing that we couldn't talk about the upcoming war with a twelve-year-old girl with us. I let my long hair loose and turned to my sister.

"You want to braid my hair?" I asked her as I turned so she could face my hair.

She immediately started to braid my hair in a French fish-tail braid, which, considering the amount of hair I had and how long it was, was going to take her at least ten minutes or more. Around the time she was halfway down my skull, we heard some padding in the train hallway coming our way. A few seconds later, the compartment door opened and in came Remus Lupin, James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Remus!" I exclaimed.

I tried to get up and hug him but my sister wouldn't let go of my hair and one tug from her and I was sitting down again. Everyone laughed at my expense but it was okay because I ended up laughing as well. Remus came to me and hugged me, sitting down next to me. I had missed Remus; apart from James, he was the marauder I was closest to. We automatically engaged in a conversation about his prefect duties and what we'd do once we graduated next year. I wanted to be a writer for _The Prophet_ or maybe simply write books, my parents wanted me to be an auror but the idea didn't really convince me. Remus wasn't so sure about his future; he was convinced that once we graduated he wouldn't have a future at all because of his furry little problem.

"Hey, where's Peter?" Mary asked, looking around the compartment.

"He wanted a chocolate frog," James explained.

Peter Pettigrew was a chubby kid who was friends with the three boys. I personally didn't like him; there was something about him that didn't make me feel good. They boys usually made fun of him but he didn't seem to care. Mary shrugged and went back to her book. I glanced over at James; he was longingly looking at Lily, who was looking outside, and still hadn't talked to her or asked her out. I smiled, knowing that he was putting our plan in motion. Black was flirting with Marlene, who was stupid enough to flirt back. I couldn't believe him; he had a girlfriend for Merlin's sake, unless he had broken up with Regina already.

"Done," Delilah announced as she finished my braid.

"Thank you," I smiled at her, playing with the end of my braid.

"Can I do your hair now, Lily?" She asked the redhead who nodded vigorously.

Apparently nobody was able to say no to this girl. I wasn't sure if that was good or not. Lily and I exchanged seats and Delilah started braiding Lily's red locks. When the train pulled up Delilah went with her friends, apparently not needing me anymore now that we were safely in Hogwarts territory. The eight of us got into one of the carriages that were pulled by Thestrals, a species of horses with wings that only had bones and leathery wings and that could only be seen by those who had witnessed death. I was able to see them, although I had never seen anyone die. Professor Shirtcliff, my Divination teacher, said that was because I'd see a lot of death in the future. She also had this crazy idea that I was a seer so I didn't take her seriously.

The Great Hall was buzzing with excitement at the new school year to come and at the sorting. Everyone always made fun of the poor terrified first years, that every year got smaller. As the first-years stood waiting, the Sorting Hat sang his song. Each year the song changed and this year was no exception. Although it was slightly darker than usual, it sang about dangers and dark times to come and how a united house was stronger than anything. I couldn't help but feel it was right, that Gryffindor would be more united than anything the next couple of years, that there were going to be great changes between all of us.

We gained twenty Gryffindors, Huffelpuff got three more kids, Ravenclaw gained another ten and Slytherin got fourteen new kids. Gryffindor and Slytherin hadn't gotten so many kids since my first year. Was history going to repeat itself with this new group of young witches and wizards? Was somewhere in there a new Meredith Potter, waiting to be the person everyone talked about? Was there another pack of friends waiting to be like the Marauders? My eyes travelled to the teacher's table at the end of the Great Hall, my mother was sitting next to professor Slughorn, our potions teacher, her hair was in a bun at the top of her head and her robes were a dark red and ochre. Next to Professor Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall sat. She looked as stern as always as she politely held a conversation with Professor Sinistra; Professor Flitwick was busy with a piece of pumpkin pie.

I noticed ProfessorShirtcliff was absent, and in her usual spot was sitting a young man in his mid-twenties. He had short brown hair and fair skin; he wasn't talking to anyone, clearly uncomfortable with the fact that he didn't know anyone yet. I wondered what had happened to Professor Shirtcliff but didn't give it much thought, at least now I wouldn't have a teacher running after me and telling me to embrace my gift. One I wasn't even sure was real and one that I most definitely did not want to embrace. I wasn't hungry so I simply watched everyone eat.

"Welcome, welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. First, I'd like you to know that Professor Shirtcliff has left us; she has decided to take a new job at Beauxbatons. In her place, we have Professor Grace; he has come all the way from America. Welcome, Professor Grace," Dumbledore signalled to the new professor who got up and smile at the room full of students. We clapped politely.

"Mr. Flinch would like me to remind you all,"—Dumbledore said once the clapping was done.—"that the Forbidden Forest is indeed forbidden and that, thanks to some students, the list of forbidden items has been rewritten," He paused and his twinkling eyes travelled to where we were sitting.

I smirked over the table at James who sent me a grin and reached across the table to high-five Black, who was sitting two seats down James. Marlene and I giggled, it was no news that we were all trouble-makers; the only thing that kept Dumbledore for kicking us out was the fact that we were good students and well, we were his favourites. I turned my attention back to the Headmaster that had started speaking again.

"Also, I would like to reassure you all by telling you that Hogwarts is one of safest place in Great Britain and you can all tell your parents there's no where better for you. Dark times are coming, strange things are happening but you can always trust your teachers," He said, his eyes going once again towards us. This time, however, they made direct eye contact with mine. A chill ran down my spine, that only happened when something very bad was about to happen.

"Now, why don't we go to bed? It's a new school day tomorrow," He finished and we took that as our cue to leave the Great Hall.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face and earlier than usual. I loved Hogwarts and I had missed it greatly. I made my way to the bathroom with my school uniform under my arm and took a nice long shower. The good thing about getting up early was that I had the bathroom all to myself. Once I was done in the bathroom I took my school bag and pulled it over my shoulder, taking my Gryffindor robe and walking down the stairs that led to the girls' dorms. The Common Room was void of any living form, all of its sofas and chairs unoccupied, so I made my way straight to The Great Hall for breakfast. I walked happily down the corridors and into the Great Hall, momentarily pausing when I noticed that the Gryffindor table wasn't as empty as I thought it'd be. Three of the four Marauders—Pettigrew was probably still asleep—sat in our usual spot, leaning over a piece of parchment. I heaved a sigh and walked up to them, already dreading the prank they were most likely planning.

"Good Morning, boys," I said as I sat down across from James.

"Is everything in your kingdom the way you like it?" James joked and I rolled my eyes, a smile tugging at my lips.

"Actually, yes," I replied.

The parchment that Black was currently holding caught my attention, at first I had thought it was the Marauders' map—a map they had created with every little room and hallway of the castle and that showed every person who was there. I wasn't even supposed to know it existed but I had stumbled over it and James had to show it to Me.—but now that I was closer I could see it was actually a different parchment. It had what look like a blueprint of a classroom and many doodles around, as well as some writing here and there.

"What's that?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me.

Black moved so I couldn't look and kept scribbling down into the parchment. I turned to Remus, who was sitting right to my right, and lifted an eyebrow questioningly. Around us, more people started to fill The Great Hall, anxious for breakfast. Some were half asleep, others wide awake.

"It's a new prank, you know, the back-to-school prank," Remus explained in his usual calm voice.

I loved Remus, not in the I'm-in-love-with-you way but in the I'm-the-little-sister-you-never-had-and-am-happy-t o-fill-the-space kind of way, and I loved how he was always the calm one of the group, the most responsible. It had a lot to do with the fact that he turned into a wolf every full moon. That predicament forced him to be calm, to be a wallflower. He never attracted more attention to him than necessary. That reminded me; in two days was a full moon. How would he do? I had discovered his little problem last year, when we started to study werewolves profoundly. Remus almost had a heart attack when he found out I knew.

"Are you ready for...you know? It's two days away," I whispered to him, not wanting anyone to hear us. He visibly paled and put down his fork, which had been halfway to his mouth.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," He whispered back. "Just don't go to the Forbidden Forest."

I nodded. So he went to the Forbidden Forest to turn. It seemed logic, it was full of dark creatures and one more werewolf wasn't going to look suspicious, besides nobody was supposed to enter it, which meant there wouldn't be any innocent students around for him to accidentally hurt. The doors of The Great Hall opened again and in came a sleepy-looking Marlene McKinnon and Lily Evans. Lily's hair was combed and cascaded down her back, catching the natural light and shining. They walked up to us, well, Lily walked and Marlene dragged her feet, and sat down. Lily to my left and Marlene next to James.

"Here's your schedule," Lily told me as she handed me a rectangular piece of paper with all my classes in it.

"Thanks, I've got Charms first," I read as I took a bit of my French toast.

"Me, too," Remus smiled at me as he examined his schedule.

Lily shook her head sadly, she had Charms after lunch. Everyone was the same so it looked like I'd be sitting next to Remus at Charms. I borrowed James' Schedule and put it beside mine and Lily's. The three of us had Transfigurations, Potions and DADA together. In fact, one look at Remus' schedule told me that he was also with us at DADA, right after lunch.

"I have DADA after lunch as well," Marlene said, excited.

Well, it looked like we'd all be together for once. Unfortunately, that's where our happiness ended because apart from DADA and one free period we didn't have any classes the six of us together. Mary and Peter sat down as well and I asked for their schedules. Now I had seven schedules sprawled in a straight line in front of me. I had Transfigurations after Charms with James, Lily and Peter, then I had Ancient Ruins by myself—and probably Black, although I hadn't asked for his schedule so I didn't know.—after that we had a free period and then I had Divination with Mary, Marlene and James. After lunch Lily, Remus and I had History of Magic, and then all of us but Mary and Peter had two hours of Herbology, my least favourite subject. That was only today's schedule, the rest of the weeks we were all scattered around topics. It looked like the teachers had thought it'd be wise to not put more than three of us together in many classes. A wise choice, I had to admit. I gave everyone their schedules back and looked at the time, I had fifteen minutes to get to the Charms and the Charms classroom was at the other side of the castle.

"We should get going; I don't want Professor Flitwick to give us detention the first day," Remus said as he got up.

I followed after saying goodbye to the guys. I involuntarily glanced at Black's way, who hadn't talked since I had sat down for breakfast, waiting for his usual comment toward me but got nothing. With a frown, I took my bag and quickly walked toward the end of the table where Remus was waiting for me.

"You shouldn't worry about padfoot not talking to you, he's been moody lately," Remus commented after a few minutes in comfortable silence.

"What? I'm not worried," I shook my head.

Remus spared me a look and laughed, shaking his head. Some students turned to us at the sound; it wasn't common to see Remus Lupin laughing loudly when not accompanied by the other marauders.

"Why are you laughing? I'm not worried, I've never been and I won't," I snapped at him, not likely the way he was laughing at me.

"Sure, I'll act like I believe you," He threw an arm across my shoulders, a small smile still etched to his face, "you do know that this whole thing between you and padfoot is ridiculous, right? Even Prongs believes it is, he just doesn't dare to tell you."

I chose to ignore him and we kept walking in silence, his arm still slung over my shoulders.

"Remus, where did your nicknames come from?" I asked.

I had never really understood why their nicknames were so weird. Moony I understood, with the moon problem and all, but Prongs, Padfoot and Wormtail? Where the heck did those come from? Remus' paced slowed down a little and I slowed down with him, looking curiously up at him.

"Their patronuses," he shrugged like it was no big deal but the tenseness in his face told me there was more to it than that.

The res of the week not much happened; classes were boring as ever, Fabian wrote to me almost every day, some times I even got more than one later at the same time. James hadn't pestered Lily about going out with him or declared his love for her at all the entire week, which I considered a huge progress. Lily hadn't paid much attention to it yet but I knew she had noticed. Poor Regina, who, I had discovered, was from Ravenclaw, had been cheated on twice but she didn't know yet. As for the rest of the group, Mary had an argument with Marlene, again, and Peter was already struggling with potions.

That's why I had decided to retire to the library so I could calmly work in my Divination essay. We had to write about palm reading and its qualities, I also had to explain the accuracy and how it differed from tasseography and which one was more accurate. It was late into the night, past curfew, and the library was deserted. I was about to finish the essay when the library's doors opened. Regulus Black, Evan Rosier and Severus Snape entered the room, a scowl in their faces.

"Why are we here again?" Rosier asked loudly.

The other two stopped walking and turned to face Rosier, the light coming from the opened door shining in their faces. Regulus Black glared at Rosier and pointed him with his wand while Snape started to walk around the library checking the tables. I quickly blew out the two candles that were on my desk and quietly put my stuff in my bag. I was near the end of the library, far away for Snape not to realize I had put out the candles and hidden enough so I could see and not be seen.

"Shut up, Rosier. We're not supposed to be here. Do you want to be heard?" Regulus Black said and my breath hitched.

He sounded so much like his brother, my step faltered. Of course, Black's voice wasn't as angry as his but the tone was very similar. They also were physically alike. Regulus looked very much like his older brother and I couldn't help but wonder, would Black look like this if he hadn't been sorted into Gryffindor? Would he be about to become, if not already be, a death-eater?

"It's after hours, Black. Nobody's here," Rosier replied, unfazed. "Isn't that right, Snape?"

"Yes."

The reply came from the area near the restricted section. I followed the voice, now intrigued. Regulus said they were not supposed to be there and now Snape was about to enter the restricted section. They were obviously up to no good. I followed Regulus and Rosier with my eyes and once they were far enough so they wouldn't hear me, I started to walk after them. They unlocked the Restricted Section door and went in, leaving it open. I put my bag over my shoulder and hide my wand between my skirt and my underwear, modifying my sweater so no one could see it.

"Are you sure this will..." Rosier was saying but I couldn't hear well.

"Trust me; I've grown up with magic..." Regulus replied.

I inched closer to the aisle where they were and peeked over to where they were standing. The three of them had their noses stuck into an old thick book that had chains for a book mark, he rim of the pages were gold and the cover was brown leather. I looked down at the bookshelf and saw that we were in section T, aisle 4.

"Didn't your parents tell you it was wrong to eavesdrop?" Severus Snape snapped and I jumped.

My eyes went to them in lighting speed. The three teenagers had removed their attention from the book and were looking at me. Rosier was already halfway toward me, Regulus closed the book and lifted it to put it in the shelf. The title of the book was in French, a language I spoke fluently so it wasn't hard to figure out. _Dark Artefacts and How to Conceal Them, V. II_ well, that was a blunt title. I looked back to Snape and Rosier, my breathing accelerating as fear ran through my veins. _Calm down, you're in school, they cannot hurt you here._ I told myself but I wasn't naive enough to believe that was the truth. Accidents happened all the time; they could easily hurt me and make it look like an accident.

"Come here," Rosier spat at me as he took my arm and pulled me to the centre of the hallway harshly.

"What did you hear, Potter?" Snape sneered at me, his crooked nose looking almost like a hook from where I was standing.

Snape was shorter than me so it looked kid of funny that he was trying to intimidate me while looking up at me. I would have laughed if it hadn't been because I was actually scared, no, I was terrified of Rosier and Regulus Black.

"Nothing, I was looking for this spell and I saw someone walk up to this aisle, I just wanted to see who it was," I rushed.

"And what was the _Princess of Gryffindor_ doing in the Restriction Section?" Regulus asked, coming up to me and locking his silver eyes to mine.

I involuntarily shuddered when his wand touched my chin. Why did he have to be so much like his brother? This was wrong, so wrong. Rosier pushed my blonde hair away from my neck and leant in, pressing a sloppy kiss in the hook of my neck. I almost threw up.

"You want to know? I was listing the reasons why you're such a suck-ass mum's baby," I growled at him, my anger taking over.

I had this particular flaw: I let my emotions control me. At first I thought that comment was smart but the moment I saw his hand go backwards and then towards my face, I knew it had been a great mistake. My face whipped to the side at the harshness and strength of the hit, blood started to pour from my lip. I had unconsciously bit it and it had split open.

"You'll pay for that, you little whore," Rosier growled and the others laughed.

"Be fast, we're losing time. Just kill her...or, I'll obliviate her," Snape jumped in, pointing his wand at me.

"No, I think the two of us will have some _alone_ time with her _Highness_," Rosier said as he whirled me around so I could face him. "You go back, Snape."

"Have it as you want," Snape said and my eyes widened.

He couldn't leave me here, he couldn't. I knew he was bad but he had been friends with Lily, he had been my potions partner for our first three years at Hogwarts. We've always hated each other but we had history he couldn't leave me here. I shot him a pleading look but he simply stared back at me, no emotions on his face or eyes. He turned and left, leaving me completely alone with two Slytherins and I could tell their thoughts weren't exactly pure. I was screwed.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter 4:_**

"Don't touch me." I snarled at them.

Rosier had the nerve to laugh. I was seething; they were actually going to do it. They were going to force me to do something I really didn't want to do. They cornered me into the bookshelf, my back hitting the books. Regulus rested his hand in a book around my head, caging me, and Rosier was standing in front of me, his face close to mine.

"Come on, little whore, why won't you put out? You have before." He whispered against my face, his breath hitting me.

I moved away from him, slapping his hand away when it started to crawl from my knee to my chest. This was wrong, wrong, wrong. Tears stung my eyes. This wasn't just wrong, it was also my fault. Why did I have to build myself such a bad reputation? I knew it would come back someday and bite me in the ass; I just never thought it'd be this soon. His hands started to push my sweater upwards. _Okay, breathe, think of something._ I thought as I looked around, I noticed Regulus hand was slacked, almost like he was getting tired. I also could feel my wand getting heavier, like it was begging me to use it. And I would use it; I just had to find an opening.

"Fine," I whispered seductively.

Rosier blinked and Black actually removed his arm from the bookshelf like it had burned him. They obviously didn't expect that answer and I took the opportunity to lean my foot against the bookshelf so it was just one move away from Rosier's groin.

"I've wanted both of you for weeks," I purred. "I've been trying to fight it, but you just said the right things at the right time."

I put my left hand on Rosier's neck and start to pull him closer, the poor boy was still too stunned to do much but what I told him to. One would think the Slytherin boys, members of the darkest house of Hogwarts, would be more willing at a pretty girl throwing herself at them or that they'd at least know how to react. Apparently they were all bark and no bite, or they were still just kids.

"So now, make me yours." I whispered, trying hard not to gag.

Right when my mouth was about to touch his, I brought my knee forward, drawing out my wand in the process, and hit him hard on the groin, making him double over in pain. Before Rosier could recover or Black could react, I turned to the youngest Black and said:

"_Conjunctivitus." _

He immediately covered his eyes, momentarily blinded by the spell. I sprinted down the aisle, not before pointing at Rosier's wand and muttering '_expelliarmus._' I soon heard footsteps behind me and one look over my shoulder showed me the two of them had recovered and were coming after me. A hex went over my head and I threw a random spell back, not bothering to know if it hit its target or not, by the curse I heard Rosier mutter I supposed it had.

I turned down a corner and tripped with one of the stone tiles of the floor, my knee scrapped but I didn't pay attention. I pushed myself to my feet and kept sprinting. The footsteps kept getting closer and it seemed like this staircase didn't have an ending. Soon the entry to the Gryffindor common room appeared into sight and I almost cried with relief, I shouted the password and the door opened. I went inside and closed the door behind me, closing my eyes as I leaned into it and tried to ease my breathing. My heart was going faster than possible as I finally allowed myself to cry.

"No, no, no," a voice I recognize to be James said. "I'm telling you, we have to do it in Transfigurations. If we pull a prank in DADA my aunt will skin me alive."

I slowly sank into the floor, my back still to the door, and allowed James' voice to calm me down. He and whoever he was talking to hadn't realize I was there, but that was perfectly fine. If James saw me this way, he'd have an aneurism. I was disgusted with myself at how I had acted like I actually wanted Rosier. The mere thought of his hand on my knee made me sob.

"No, your aunt will be mad but McGonagall will actually—Meredith?" the other voice said, suddenly alarmed at the end.

I squeezed my eyes tighter at the voice, my hand automatically going to my busted lip. I heard some rushing from the room, a chair screeching in the floor, the sound of footsteps in the soft rug and then on the wooden floor. A hand fell on my shoulder softly and I flinched, shaking my head.

"Meredith, look at me," He said at the same time James asked what had happened.

I opened my eyes to grey eyes, so grey they almost looked liquid. There were bits of blues and greens in them and I closed my eyes again. They were too much like Regulus' eyes. He was going to die when I told him his little brother almost raped me. _Wrong, wrong, wrong._

"I told you to look at me, Meredith," He told me again, this time more sternly.

_Meredith_. He hadn't called me that in two years. It sounded weird to hear it after so long; there was another wrong thing for the amount of wrong things of the day. I complied and blinked, trying to get rid of the tears.

"Good, now, what happened?" Black asked me again.

My eyes went to James. He was looking at me with widened eyes, his eyes glued to me. They went from my sweater to my lip. I looked down, my sweater was moved so the neck was down my shoulder, the buttons of my shirt were open and my Gryffindor tie was missing. I hadn't even noticed it leaving my neck.

"I was at the library and I saw three Slytherins come in, I eavesdropped on them and was stupid enough to get caught." I explained. My voice was a wavering mess.

James and Black shared a look and I witnessed as they emotions changed quickly. They went from being worried to confused to outraged to livid in five seconds. I raised a shaky hand to my lip again and then hold it out in front of my eyes, there was still a little blood but by tomorrow it'd only be swollen.

"What happened when you got caught?" James asked carefully, kneeling down in front of me as well.

"Snape left, he said I was a waste of time, that they should either kill me or obliviate me." I mumbled.

I then explained everything that had happened, my eyes glued to the floor. I told them everything, from how I had busted my lip to how I had escaped. I even added that we should really check that weird book they were reading, although I was very careful not to say that Regulus had been there. Once I finished, neither of them spoke. I didn't make eye contact, I simply kept my hands together and my eyes glued to them. I should really get a manicure, though.

"We should get you to the hospital wing, have madam Pomfrey give you a relaxing potion, maybe?" James asked me, looking at Black out of the corner of his eyes.

"No!" I exclaimed, finally looking up. "What am I even gonna say? They'll get expelled and then they will kill me."

"She's right; they already threatened her. Besides, she can get in big trouble for entering the Restricted Section and being out of bed so late," Sirius, seeing as though he had called me Meredith I'd call him Sirius tonight (only tonight), said.

James sighed and sat down to my left while Sirius did the same to my right. We should really move. But the hardness of the floor didn't bother me, neither did the light cold breeze that entered through the window. It didn't bother the boys, either, apparently.

"Who was the other Slytherin, Meredith?" Sirius asked me, a frown etched to his face.

I didn't say anything as I turned my head to look at him. He wasn't even looking at me, his gaze was stuck to my scrap knee and the small trail the blood was leaving down my leg. I was barely aware of the dull sting; my lip hurt more, especially now that I had bitten it without realizing I was doing so. I took my wand and muttered a healing spell, we all watched as my wound closed. The only proof that it had existed was a light mark that'd be gone by tomorrow.

"Meredith...you—you practically freaked when you saw me," Sirius started but the thought that had formed inside his head probably terrified him because he never continued.

"Regulus was there, he knew where to locate the book." I admitted.

I didn't think I had ever seen Sirius Black so pale, not eve when he ran away from his own home last Christmas. He turned to face me, his grey eyes widened and resembling a storm. I felt James' hand on my shoulder, although he was gripping it harder than necessary. I didn't understand the message he was trying to get through. Did he want me to support Sirius? or did he want to support me? Or was he simply trying to rid me of my shoulder?

"He didn't do anything, though. I don't think he would've let Rosier do anything if he realized things were going too far, I mean—" I rushed through my words.

"Things went too far, _Meredith._" He snapped at me before I could even finish. My eyes narrowed dangerously, I hated it when people didn't let me finish, but I let it slide. I had just dropped a bomb on him.

I sighed and turned to James, burying my face in his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his torso. James wrapped his arms around me immediately and I closed my eyes. I wasn't as shaken as I had been before but I knew that now Sirius was also shaken up and James didn't know how to act. So I decided not to give them any more drama, I'd stay here for a few more minutes then I'd pull myself together and go to sleep.

"I'm hungry," James mumbled, his voice vibrating through his chest.

"I'm really thirsty." I mumbled back, having a fair idea of where he was going with this.

At first, we were only met by silence. I pulled away from James and turned to Sirius expectantly. He was frowning at us but he didn't look as bad as before, his eyes weren't as troubled. One glance from the corner of my eye told me James was pouting, actually pouting, at Sirius, so I mimicked him. I gave Black the sweetest most innocent pout I could muster, one that was even more effective than James', although that probably had to do with the fact that I was a girl. The point was, Sirius gave in at second 15.

"Fine, let's go." He pushed himself to his feet and cleaned his trousers, getting his wand out.

James and I did the same, although James offered me his hand and pulled me up, and the three of us went out of the common room. The corridor was empty of any living form, but none of us lowered our wands, just in case Regulus Black and Rosier were still lurking somewhere. The trip to the kitchen took us some time; we had to be very careful not to step too loudly so we wouldn't get caught. I couldn't help thinking how this reminded me of our first four years at Hogwarts, how the three of us would always sneak out at night to the kitchens for a late-night snack, or how I'd always join the four of them with their pranks. After the last semester of fourth year, though, the girls—and by girls I mean Marlene and Mary, God forbid Lily broke a rule.—and I started pulling our own pranks, mostly on the Marauders.

Once we reached the kitchen, we asked the house-elves for a cup of hot chocolate each. They happily complied. We sat down on one of the counters, James to my right and Sirius to my left and simply started talking, avoiding tonight's events at all costs.

"How's plan win-Lily-over going?" I asked James curiously.

"You know?" Black asked me, glancing at James. "How does she manage to know almost all of our secrets?" he directed the last question at James, who shrugged in response.

"It was my idea; I can't believe you took credit, James." I glared half-heartedly at my cousin.

"In that case, the hat's off," Sirius joked. "I've got to admit it's a very nice plan."

"Merci, mon bon monsieur." I bowed my head mockingly, my French accent perfectly fluent.

"De rien, mon amie," he replied. "Je peux dire que—"

"No, no, no." James interrupted, making us turn to him. "The only good thing about you two not talking is that you don't do that."

I busted out laughing and Sirius let out a bark-like laugh that had me laughing even harder. James glared at both of us for a long time but that only made me laugh more. I found hilarity in how incredibly out of character Sirius Black and I were acting. I hadn't given him the time of day in at least a year and a half and now we were laughing uncontrollably, doing the exact same thing we had done time ago. I guessed the circumstances allowed a temporal truce.

"I hate it when you speak French; I never know what you're saying," James mumbled, his glare wasn't as fierce as before so I took that as a good sign.

"You should've learned," Sirius said to him, finally regaining composure.

"Why, but if James decided other languages were useless," I teased, fighting giggles. "Anything that kept him from playing Quidditch was."

"You're forgetting Lily Evans, anything that keeps him from those two is a waste of time," Sirius added.

"I hate you both," James mumbled, making us laugh again.

My unspoken truce with Sirius lasted exactly eight days. The entire school had a heart attack when Sirius and I entered The Great Hall the morning after the little library accident. No one had seen us sit next to each other willingly in almost two years, apparently the fact that James was also sitting with us went unnoticed, and the rumors fled. Some said we were back together, others that James had threatened both of us to behave. What I found most funny was the look on our friends' faces. Peter choked on his toast and Marlene practically spat her juice through her nose. I paid no mind to them.

The day after the week rolled up, we had a surprise visit from someone. Regulus Black walked up to where we were sitting in The Great Hall and asked if I could have a word with him. Eight pairs of eyes stared back at him but he didn't even flinch.

"Why would I talk to you, Black?" I asked him as calmly as I could.

"You know why." He shrugged; unfazed by the glares James and his brother were sending him.

"You won't talk to her ever again, that clear to you?" James growled at him.

"James, calm down," I told him as I got up.

Sirius put a hand in my arm, stopping me from walking away and I turned. He shook his head slightly at me but I raised an eyebrow, he shook his head once more, sending a glare at his little brother. I glared at him until he let go of my hand and walked outside the Great Hall.

"If you know what's best for you, don't tell anyone what you saw and what happened." Regulus threatened me once we were in a secluded hallway.

"Don't you think you're a little late for the threat?" I asked him.

His eyes flashed with something I recognized as anger but also a little amazement, probably at the fact that I had the nerve to talk so boldly to him after what had happened. I was pretty amazed as well. What I couldn't wrap my mind around was how mean he was acting. He hadn't been like this when I first met him and now he was truly an arse. It was so weird; I truly had a hard time accepting it.

"Don't push me, Potter," He growled at me.

"Fine, I won't tell anyone." I rolled my eyes and went to leave but he grabbed my arm.

"Let go of me," I snapped at him.

The corridor we were in was completely empty, so no one would witness if anything were to happen. I didn't care, though. I wasn't scare of Regulus Black. Rosier, was one thing, but Regulus wasn't even much taller than me. And I had more magic knowledge than he did.

"I think you're forgetting I'm older than you and more skilled, so let go off me_, now,_" I told him, narrowing my eyes. I took my wand and pointed it threateningly at him. He looked down at it but didn't let go.

"You're on my list, Potter. Theirs too." He warned me, but I wasn't sure if he was trying to scare me or asking me to be careful.

"I'm not afraid of you," I retorted.

"You should be."

He let go of my arm and walked away, walking down the hallway that led to the dungeons.

"Now, card reading is pretty simple. Even more so than palm reading." Professor Grace said as he walked around the desks, inspecting our jobs. "This little test will give you half an extra point in the next exam; if you're failing it may be the difference between a Troll and an Outstanding."

Some people cheered, others, cursed loudly. Marlene pouted at James, who was her partner, and they both sent me a hopeful look. I bet they wished I was their partner so I could help them, or that I, at least, was a little closer to them so I could whisper the answers into their ears. Unfortunately, I was on the other side of the room. Mary was with Robert Miller, a muggleborn Ravenclaw, who was excellent at Divination.

"I hate this class," my partner, Emilia Greene, said. "I'm never good at anything."

"Why did you take it then?" I asked her, lifting an eyebrow.

"It was better than care of magical creatures." She admitted and I laughed along with her.

One look around the room told me that Professor Grace was making his way directly to our table, no doubt attracted by our laughter. When he reached our desk, he smiled at me. I smiled at him sweetly although I was kind of freaked by it. It was obvious I was his favourite and that sometimes made me feel uncomfortable.

"Alright, Miss Greene, why don't you try to guess something form Miss Potter's past, present and future?" the professor asked Emilia, who turned pale and shot me a look that pretty much screamed: _HELP._

I gave her and encouraging smile and she looked down at the three cards before her. She took one and watched it carefully, her eyes going up to my face and back to the card.

"Right, so, um..." she started. "In your past... you once fell down the stairs and broke your femur so you had to be taken to St. Mungo's."

I snorted, trying to control my laughter. It was obviously something invented. Professor Grace's blue eyes fell on me as he tried to suppress a smile.

"I guess that didn't happen?" he asked me and I shook my head. "Try with the present, that's simpler." He advised Emilia.

"Okay, you... have yet to finish your History of Magic essay." Her tone rose at the end so it sounded like a question.

I had finished that essay two days ago, but her grade depended of my answer and I did not want her to fail. One look at Professor Grace told me he was waiting for my answer.

"Yes, you're right. I'm far behind," I said, the lie slipping past my lips.

"Very good, Miss Greene, now try one last time for her future," The professor encouraged.

I watched as Emilia took a deep breath in and lifted up the card, she spent sometime looking at the image in it and then looking at the teacher instead of me. She told him I'd graduate from Hogwarts with all O's and that I'd become a healer. I've never wanted to be a healer but I didn't say that. Then it was my turn, I took the first card to my left and lifted it up. In it was an image of a small hut, maybe one to stay at when it's spring break. I closed my eyes for a second, wondering what this has got to do with the Ravenclaw sitting in front of me, someone I know nothing about except for her name. Then it clicked into place, next to the house there was a huge tall tree, and Emilia had said I had fell down the stairs and broken my _femur,_ that's a very specific bone. I opened my eyes.

"You fell off of the tree that's in the garden of your family's summer house when you were seven, then you healed yourself and that was the first time you showed signs of magic," I told her.

"How in hell did you know? I've never told anyone." She gasped, her eyes widening.

"My third eye," I joked as I squinted my eyes at her.

She laughed a little and looked down at the second card I was lifting, apparently intrigued now. The card was completely blank. I frowned, it wasn't blank five seconds ago, I was sure. What did that mean? That Emilia didn't have a future? No, that couldn't be it. The second card meant present, the third card meant future. I glanced up at the professor, who was looking curiously at me, and then back at Emilia. _Okay, relax, just follow your instincts. _I thought as I focused on her but looked at the blank card, as always, my brain formed an image all by itself: there was a letter, a woman crying, a funeral, Hogwarts.

"Your parents don't want you to come back to Hogwarts in January," I gasped, shocked.

I was certain this was happening in her life and I also knew she wouldn't come back to Hogwarts after Christmas. Emilia Greene's eyes widened and filled with unshed tears, I immediately knew I shouldn't have said anything. She looked at the teacher and then got up, taking her bag with her, and sprinted out of the classroom, everyone's eyes on her. Professor Grace sighed and closed his eyes momentarily. I bit my lip.

"I—I shouldn't have…" I trailed off, not really knowing how to finish. "Professor, I saw something else." I added, worried.

"We'll talk later, Meredith. Stay after class, all right?" Professor Grace said as he opened his blue eyes and nodded at me.

After class, I stayed behind inside Professor Grace's office and waited for him to acknowledge me. He finally turned from the door, where he had been watching the students go, and walked toward me, his face an unreadable mask.

"Professor, I'm sorry," I immediately said.

"For what?" he asked me, his American accent showing. "You haven't done anything wrong."

I blinked at him as he walked around his desk and sat down, going through one of the parchments around his desk. He scribbled some things down and scratched others, unfazed by my discomfort. I recognized with a start that he was sorting through our next exam.

"Then why am I here, Professor Grace?" I asked him, taking a step forward and sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"First of all, you can call me Tobias when we're alone, Meredith," He said, lifting his gaze from the parchment. "I am just 21 years old, you know. When the students call me 'Professor' I feel like a mummy." He gave me a smile and I giggled.

"Your name is Tobias?" the words left my mouth before I could stop myself.

He lifted his face again, his brown hair falling into his eyes, and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, does it surprise you?" he asked me back.

"Well, I imagined you more as a Linus or maybe Cerberus… Tobias is a biblical name, and you're an American wizard," I answered.

"My parents thought it'd be a nice name, I guess." He shrugged. "I'm going to finish something here and then I'll tell you why I asked you to stay."

I nodded and watched as his focus went back to the parchment in his hands. I let my gaze roam freely around the office. It was, frankly, a mess. It was relatively extensive, with a big window in one side and a smaller one right behind his desk. We were in one of the towers of the castle, which meant that the room was circular. He had a bookshelf that apparently wasn't big enough for all his books, because there were some piles of books around the floor. They were neatly put one above the other so it didn't look messy at all. I read the titles of the books in the pile nearest to me and frowned. They were about many topics but none about Divination. The other pile was the same. Why was he a Divination teacher if he didn't like the subject?

"All right!" he suddenly exclaimed, making me jump. "Professor Shirtcliff sent me a letter a few weeks ago."

I inwardly groaned. This was unbelievable, that woman was making my life miserable without even being in it. I had seen Professor Grace, Tobias, as an exit. He didn't know me; he didn't have a crazy feeling that I had the gift of sight. It was supposed to be a new beginning. On the outside, though, I gave Professor Grace an interested look and waited for him to continue.

"She informed me of her interest in one particular student, one that truly had the gift," He started. "That student was you."

He paused for a moment, waiting for some kind of answer from me but I remained silent. After a while, he decided to continue talking. He took an old piece of parchment from one of his drawers and read over it.

"Yeah, here it is. She goes on and on about how I should help you embrace the gift. Honestly, I didn't believe her. I don't think she knows what she's really talking about, I thought you were the one who came up with the theory, trying to get her favoritism." He elaborated further and I frowned.

"I would never do that," I told him harsher than intended.

"I know that now," he said. "I watched for a few classes and—"

"You think the same thing," I raised an eyebrow. "You think I'm a seer, that I have the gift of prophecy or whatever."

He nodded and I fought the urge to roll my eyes. He might be 21 but he was still my professor. I got up and grabbed my bag, throwing it over my shoulder. Professor Grace eyed me carefully but I avoided his eyes at all costs.

"Can I leave, Professor? I already know what you intent to say and I already know the answer."

"Meredith, you don't get it. What you did back there, what you've been doing every class," He told me as he got up. "That's real talent, if you don't control it, you might start having visions about the simplest things; that can be dangerous," He explained, his hands pulled together, trying to make me understand.

"I don't believe you," I retorted, voice wavering.

"Your card was void of any image and yet, your prediction was so accurate Miss Greene couldn't bear it," he insisted.

I bit my lips and looked down. He was lying, everything was a lie. I was simply good at school; I simply listened to my intuition.

"I refuse to believe it is true," I mumbled, looking up and locking eyes with the professor. "Because that would mean… that would mean—"

"What, Meredith, what would that mean?" he asked me.

"That would mean Emilia will die," I finally admitted, eyes widened.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5: _**

"Hey, where have you been?" Lily asked me as I sat down beside her.

"Oh, Professor Grace wanted to share a word with me after class," I said as I poured some water into my goblet.

"'bout what?" James asked with his mouth full of food.

After I had explained to Professor Grace that I had seen Emilia's funeral, he had demanded that if I ever had another vision like that or something to do with the future, I had to go to him. He didn't let me go until I promised I would, and then I had come down to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Pretty much the same bloody thing Professor Shirtcliff wanted to talk about." I shrugged.

"Are you joking?" Marlene rolled her eyes. "This is getting ridiculous; you're just good at guessing."

"That's what I said, he doesn't believe me." I shrugged. "So, what are we doing—"

I stopped mid sentence when raised voices reached us. Regina was angrily walking into the Great Hall, her arms crossed and her robe flying behind her, showing everyone her skirt and disheveled shirt. Sirius Black was walking behind her, an angry look on his face.

"What do you think that's about?" Marlene asked, glancing curiously at the couple.

"I don't know," Lily answered.

"Shhh, they're talking," James hushed. We turned all our attention to the angry couple.

"—can't believe you!" Regina's voice reached us.

"Regina, it's not what—" Black started but Regina cut him off.

"Do not say it's not what it seems because I'll use my wand, Sirius Orion Black!" Regina yelled back.

"He told her his middle name?" Marlene asked me confusedly.

Lily and I shared a conspiratorial look before looking back at the couple. Black was telling her something too quietly for us to hear, she was shaking her head rapidly.

"You are a total toe rag! I hate you; don't talk to me ever again," She shrieked before storming down the aisle between the Gryffindor table and the Ravenclaw table.

As she passed us, Regina locked eyes with me and I noticed her eyes were rimmed with red and her nose was puffy. She had been crying. We watched her go and then turned back to Black who was walking toward us with a frown etched to his features. He flopped down on his seat next to James and across from Lily and me. Remus shared a look with James before glancing at his frowning friend.

"Everything okay, padfoot?" he asked him.

"What happened?" Lily asked as well.

"Well," Sirius started. "We were… we were in a broom closet—"

"Oh, no," I muttered, shoving my plate aside. "Unwanted mental image."

Marlene giggled as I put my head on the table, winking jokingly at Remus who was trying to keep his smirk from showing.

"Don't mind her, she's the seer of the group and most likely saw what happened and how bad it was," Marlene told Sirius as she patted his hand.

"I hope not," He muttered under his breath. I frowned and lifted my head, looking at him curiously.

"Okay, you got me. I'm curious now, spill," Marlene said, clearly hearing what he had muttered.

"Well, we were in the broom closet and well, we were about to—" Black started, fumbling over his own words. I'd never seen Black so flustered about a girl before.

"Sirius, mate, we want the final act not the whole play," Remus stopped him before he could give us any details.

We all leaned in as Sirius Black mumbled something as he played with his food. James' eyes widened as he started at his best mate, apparently he was able to hear what had been said.

"What?" Lily asked for the first time. She had been focused on her copy of _The Prophet _and hadn't said anything, pretending to not be interested on this piece of gossip. Apparently the story was too good for her to miss.

"All right, I screamed out another girl's name, are you all happy now?" Black blurted out.

Lily's eyes widened, Marlene covered her mouth to stop her laughter and Remus simply blinked. I, however, did something very unlike me when it came to him. I laughed. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and, no matter what I did, I couldn't stop laughing. Mary and Marlene soon joined me, as did Peter, who let out a few nervous chuckles.

"Meredith!" Lily gasped, slapping my shoulder with her folded copy of _The Prophet._

"Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said between laughs. "It's just that—it's _you_. That kind of stuff doesn't happen to people like you, they happen to people like Ryan Mathews or something."

Remus chuckled, nodding. I glanced at James, expecting him to agree with me but he was eyeing me curiously. Black was simply staring off into space. I frowned. What the hell was wrong with those two?

"You're too experienced, I thought you knew better," I added as I shook my head. My laughter finally subsided.

"Yes, so did I," Black mumbled, lifting his gaze to mine.

"Wait, you know what this means?" Marlene suddenly said. "It'll be all over _Hogwarts: A Gossip_ tomorrow morning."

A general sigh filled the Gryffindor table as we all rolled our eyes at the thought. I put my head back in the table, closing my eyes. Lately _Hogwarts: a Gossip_ hadn't been the nicest media in the world. Somehow, they had found out about Marlene's pass at Remus and now they gossiped about anything those two did together. They weren't happy about me not behaving like a whore or the fact that James hadn't try to write _"Lily, will you marry me?"_ in big bold letters on the Great Hall roof. They didn't like the fact that we were changing, I supposed.

"We should go, mate, don't want to be late for DADA," James commented, patting Sirius on the shoulder.

"Right," Sirius nodded as he got up.

My eyes followed both of them until they disappeared through the door. I had DADA with them and I knew for a fact class didn't start until 1:15 P.M. that was ten minutes away.

I was lazily drawing on the back of my book, bored out of my mind. I loved DADA but I hated shielding charms, I perfected those when I was ten years old. Marlene sighed to my right and I glanced at her.

"This is the slowest class ever." She mouthed at me.

"It's only been fifteen minutes," I whispered back at her.

"The longest fifteen minutes of my life," She whispered back, making me giggle.

I shook my head and went back to my book, finishing the tail of a cute fluffy dog. I didn't like dogs much but it was the only thing I was able to draw, that and diamonds. No matter how many times I started drawing something else, it always went back to those two. I jumped when a big drop of something splashed down into my book. It was pitch black and soapy at the touch. Soon more drops started to fall down, filling my entire desk with black ink.

"What the hell?" someone shouted.

I looked up. Thirteen people out of twenty were covered in black ink, a black cloud levitating over their heads. It was raining ink over my head. Marlene let out a frustrated yell and turned to face me.

"I'm gonna kill them," She muttered.

I instantly whipped my head toward the end of the class where James Potter and Sirius Black were fighting off laughter and failing. I grabbed my wand and readied at them. I was about to jinx them to Asia when my wand slipped from my grasp.

"Do not think about it," my mother ordered, fingering my wand.

I crossed my arms and walked over to James and Black, Marlene close on my tail. Their laughter died down as we approached them.

"You stop this and you stop it now," I said, having to yell over the commotion that was now the classroom.

Kids were yelling at each other, papers were flying around and my mother was close to having a fit. She hated it when people misbehaved during her class. Sirius sat up on his chair, he had been balancing on the back legs of the chair, and shook his head.

"No can do," He said.

"What do you mean 'no can do'?" Marlene snapped at him.

"Oh, no, Marlene, darling, you can," He said, putting on a fake Irish accent that sent James into another fit of laughter. "She can't." He finished, pointing at me.

"What?" I shrieked, taking a step forward.

"Marlene's will wear off in around two minutes." James explained to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I kept glaring at Black. "Yours… not so much."

"Why?" I questioned him. Oh, how I wished mom hadn't taken my wand away.

James eyes went silently toward Black and then back to me, he looked down. I bit my lip to prevent the tears from forming. He was the biggest idiot in the entire Wizarding world, no, scratch that, he was the biggest idiot _ever_. I couldn't believe it, I hadn't done anything to him and all he did was hurt me. _Breath, Meredith._ I thought to myself as I stopped biting my lip.

"What did I do?" I demanded. "What did I do to make you ha—" I stopped mid-sentence, my voice cracking.

Black blinked at me, his silver eyes suddenly filled with surprise and a little regret. Did I really almost said what I was about to ask? That question had been around my mind for a while now but it was never meant to be said out loud.

"At least tell me how long I'll be dancing in the bloody rain," I told him sarcastically.

"It'll be away by 10 tonight," Black mumbled, suddenly not so happy with his prank.

In all honesty, I saw red. It was 1: 32 P.M. and this stupid jinx would last until after dinner. That was eight hours and a half. I wanted to rip his little head off and skin James alive while I was at it. They were wrong, my mom wouldn't skin them alive, _I_ would.

"This is war, _Black._" I spat before turning around, grabbing my stuff and leaving the classroom.

_ It seems like a storm is brewing in the Gryffindor house. A tricky joke backfired and the princess is more than livid. Now, now, Meredith angry at Sirius Black is no news to us. What is new is the fact that the Marauders pulled a prank on their favorite girl. The motive, unfortunately, remains unclear. What we do know is that our girls are fighting back, a close source told us her Highness herself announced war had started. We sure are looking forward to seeing this so-called war start. The event happened last week and nothing has happened yet. But don't worry for 'good things to those who wait' and you all know we're more than happy to._

I closed the article and sighed, running a hand through my knotted hair. I needed a brush but the Gryffindor tower was pretty far from the owlery, where I was right now, and the wind would knot it again. There was more written but, honestly, I was a little afraid to read it. I hadn't spoken to James at all and I knew they'd comment about it. Marlene and I were a little distant, too. She was constantly bothering me about my reaction to the prank, so I chose to avoid her as much as you could avoid your roommate. I took off my glasses and closed my eyes. I'd talk to Marlene tonight. As for James, I didn't know what to do. I missed him and I knew he missed me even if none of us had made an attempt at apologizing. But I felt betrayed. They've pulled pranks on me over the years but they're usually silly, nothing that truly embarrassed me. I knew I was overreacting but I've known James my whole life and, yet, he chose Black over me.

"So… hi," A voice said and I looked up.

James and Peter were there. James' hair was even more disastrous because of the wind but his uniform was immaculate, he was smiling down at me carefully. Peter, however, was biting his lip nervously as his eyes went from James to me. He hated fights, I knew that, so maybe he was uncomfortable with the tension between us.

"Hello." I eyed my cousin warily before smiling at Peter. "Hi, Peter. What are you doing here?"

"Sending mum a letter. Sugared butterfly wing?" he asked me, handing one out to me.

I took the offered sweet and bit into it, enjoying the taste of chocolate and coconut. James sat down next to me in the stairs, while Peter moved quickly past them to find an owl to use.

"So you read the article, uh? It's full of bullshit," James mumbled next to me.

"I haven't finished it." I answered out of politeness. My tone was still bitter, though.

"Then don't," James replied, reaching over and taking my copy. "Instead, I want you to read this."

He handed me a copy of _The Prophet,_ no doubt today's copy, but I didn't take it from him. He sighed and put it away, running a hand through his messy hair.

"It says there's been many disappearances, all muggleborns or half-blood families," James explained to me.

I remained quiet for a moment. That was bad. I should get over my anger at James and ask about it, I really should. But instead I said nothing, although concern started to brew in the back of my head. It seemed like Voldemort was serious, after all. I felt bad for all those people who were probably dead. Once you disappeared it was only a matter of time until your body was found. I couldn't imagine what the muggleborns must be feeling. I was a pureblood, I was out of danger. Even if Regulus said I was on their list, I didn't care. He was in school; they were only acting like they were actually death eaters and it wasn't like they'd ask Voldemort to kill me, I'm not worth their master's time. But the ones kidnapping people were the real deal, the ones closer to Voldemort. Then I remembered something: Lily was a muggleborn.

I glanced at James. His hazel-colored eyes were darker than usual, something that happened when he was upset. His brows were scrunched up together. I didn't think I had ever seen James frown like this, ever. I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be fine. That, yes, there was a war going on but that, no, none of us would get hurt. But I knew it was a lie because our entire family was part of the Order, they were all involved. A wave of concern for Fabian overtook me and I bit my lip. He was only twenty years old, he had all his life in front of him, he couldn't die. I shook my head lightly, he _wouldn't_ die.

"Lily will spend Christmas over at my house. She'll be safe there and you will be able to _woo_ her," I told him, nudging him with my shoulder at the end to try to lift up his mood.

Even when mad at him, I wanted him to be happy.

"I thought you were mad at me." James eyed me carefully.

"I am and I'm still waiting for you to apologize," I told him. "I know you came here for that and I also know Peter is here so I won't kill you."

James chuckled softly, glancing behind us at Peter. I knew he was listening to our conversation even though he hadn't come back yet. No one took so long while choosing an owl.

"I'm sorry for pulling another prank on you. It's the last one, I promise," He told me.

"See, that's not what I'm mad about," I explained, not even bothering to believe what he said. It wasn't the last one, I knew that.

"Then what…?" he asked me, confused.

"You chose him, James, _him_!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "You chose him over me and you helped him do that horrible and completely embarrassing thing only because he _hates_ me and I do not believe it was right on your part. You are my _family_."

James blinked at me, his eyes widened. I shrugged and looked down, playing with the hem of my skirt. This was embarrassing, I wasn't planning on telling him all that but the words just spilled and I ended up word-vomiting. A hand reached over and stopped my hands from wrinkling my skirt further, I looked up.

"I didn't know… is that how you constantly feel?" James finally asked and I nodded silently.

"Oh, Meredith, I'm sorry, I had no idea. I didn't choose him over you, you're both important." He tried to explain. "It won't happen again. Now, am I forgiven?" he smiled at me and I burst out laughing.

"Yes and don't say it's the last time. You'll be helping him next week again," I said as I got up.

"What? No, Meredith, he's sorry. Don't make this worse." James whined after me as I started to descend the slippery stairs.

"I promised him war, little cousin, and war it's what he'll get," I told him. "Peter, are you coming?" I called out to the chubby kid who was still somewhere inside the owlery.

"Wait for me." was the answer.

"You and padfoot will be the death of me," James muttered under his breath.

I threw my hands around his neck and gave him a floppy kiss on the cheek, laughing as he whipped his face with his hand, a disgusted look on his face. Then, he smiled at me. Yes, it was good to have James Potter back.

"Hey, Mar, are you still angry about the ink rain?" I asked.

"Kind of, yeah." The answer came from my left, where Marlene's bed was.

I was lying on my made bed, staring at the photo Andromeda Tonks had sent me today. It was a picture of little Nymphadora, with shiny fluorescent orange hair, dancing around the Tonks' parlor, her arms outstretched beside her. Getting the ink out of my hair had taken four hours, and I used my wand. Marlene had the same problem and it had infuriated her even more. She loved her hair almost as much as I did.

"I hate your cousin, Meredith," Lily huffed, entering the room with a frown on her face.

"Here we go again," Marlene muttered.

I sat up at the same time Marlene jumped into my bed and Lily sat at the foot of it. She sighed and pulled her flaming red hair out of her ponytail.

"What's wrong, Lils?" I asked, putting the picture in the top drawer of my bedside table.

"I ran into him and we started talking. I was kind enough to mention the Hogsmeade trip and he said nothing. He simply nodded and went away," Lily mumbled.

I remained silent for a second, glancing at Marlene from the corner of my eye. I didn't want to be hopeful but I was pretty sure I heard heartbreak in her voice. Did Lily finally realize she fancied James?

"Okay, Lily, sweetie, did you want him to ask you to the Hogsmeade trip?" I asked carefully.

"Of course not!" Lily's head snapped up, her green eyes widened. "But he's asked me every time there is a trip ever since we were 13 and now he has the nerve not to." She ranted.

"And wasn't that what you want? For him to stop harassing you?" Marlene asked, I shot her a look at the word 'harass'.

"Of course, that's what I wanted for the last six years." Lily frowned.

"Lily, you are not making any sense," I said softly to her.

Taking my brush and staring to brush her hair, I searched inside my mind for something to tell her. Marlene looked at me and lifted an eyebrow, widening her eyes and tilting her head toward Lily. Her message was clear to me. Lily was sad because James wasn't paying any attention to her. I wondered if Lily herself knew that.

"I know, I—I'm being ridiculous, right?" she laughed, shaking her head. "He'll get over it and be his normal obnoxious self."

_I don't think so, at least not until you want him to. _I thought as I put the brush down and started braiding the red main. I envied her hair; it was shiny and full of life instead of my golden locks that made me look paler than I naturally was.

"Can we go together to Hogsmeade? I don't have a date." She asked us.

I bit my lip. I was going with Fabian and I kind of wanted it to be only the two of us for as long as possible. I hadn't seen him since I had come to Hogwarts and I missed him. I wanted to kiss him and hug him and for that to happen we needed to be alone. Being such a big group of friends, being alone for more that three hours was very difficult.

"I'm going with Fabian, Lily, sorry," I said.

"And I got a date," Marlene added, sending me a worried look.

"Who?" I asked curiously.

Marlene flushed bright red, the blush clashing against the blonde straight hair. "Nobody, just… a boy."

"Okay…" I said slowly, looking at her weirdly. We always told each other everything so it was weird that she didn't tell me who her date was. Shrugging, I turned my attention back to Lily.

Lily nodded, looking down at her hands. I moved over to the bedside table and got the picture of Nymphadora. Sitting between Lily and Marlene, I flied the picture around, a big smile on my face.

"Would you like to see my revenge?" I asked them both.

Marlene took the picture away from me and smiled fondly at the little girl. Lily laughed lightly.

"What do you mean?" Mar asked as she gave me the picture back.

I shrugged, tapping the picture with my fingers. Black had found the fluorescent orange funny; I wondered how funny it'd be to him if it was on him. Marlene's eyes followed my fingers' moves while Lily stretched out across my bed. Suddenly she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

"No," she shook her head at me. "Mer, he'll be furious."

"Not as much as we were. Do you remember how hard it was to get all the ink out?" I asked Marlene, raising an eyebrow.

Marlene's face darkened at my words. Lily sat up, frowning at us and already shaking her head.

"That's a bad idea, Mer. He's very sorry, don't make it all worse," Lily begged. "Why can't you two be friends again?" she pouted at me.

I scoffed at the idea, looking down at the picture again. I wasn't just angry, what James had told me about the disappearances had worried me. I wanted to keep my mind off of things for a few days.

We were now in Transfiguration, I was sitting beside Alice, a round-faced girl with black hair and brown eyes from Gryffindor, because Lily had decided not to take part on my little revenge. Marlene, unfortunately, didn't share this class with us. James and Sirius were sitting in the middle of the room, only because Alice and I had taken the last desk at the end of the room.

Professor McGonagall was explaining the process of turning a tulip into a canary but my mind was elsewhere. I didn't know when it'd be best for me to jinx Black, should I do it now or at the end of the class? I had no bloody idea. When Professor McGonagall ordered them to start writing their essay, I knew that was my cue. It was the perfect time. Taking my wand and pointing at Black, I focused hard on the exact shade of orange I wanted and whispered the spell. I hid my wand and watched in amusement how Black's hair slowly turned from black to a fluorescent orange, I put a hand to my mouth so no one would hear my laughter.

"Mr. Black, what, in Godric's name, have you done to yourself?" Professor McGonagall exclaimed, eyeing Black weirdly.

James turned to Black and burst out laughing, this brought the attention of the other students and soon the entire class was laughing at Black. Lily turned in her seat and shook her head at me but even she had a smile on her face. Black frowned at James and conjured one of the mirrors on the walls. I couldn't help but burst out laughing when the reflection showed his face was also orange. At the sound of my laugh, he looked my way. Our eyes met through the mirror and I knew I was in trouble, but I didn't care.

"I told you it was war, Black," I called out to him.

"Funny, undo it right now, Potter," he said, getting up and walking toward me.

The room suddenly grew quite. Everyone's eyes followed him as he walked toward me. It was no secret that every time Black and I fought things got ugly. I tilted my head to the side, considering him. He was glaring at me with such hatred that I was surprised I hadn't combusted into flames. I considered giving him the counter spell but I remembered how much he had enjoyed my distress and all sympathy evaporated.

"No can do, darling," I threw his own words at his face.

He went to open his mouth to reply, his grey eyes flashing with anger, when Professor McGonagall reached us.

"Miss Potter, are you responsible for this?" she demanded.

"Yes, I am, Minnie," I smiled.

I knew admitting to do that was not the best option but still, I was enjoying my revenge a little too much and it had been a long time since I had gotten detention. And McGonagall loved me, there was no way she was giving me a tough detention.

"Detention, Potter, for a week," she pointed at me with her wand before turning around and walking to her desk.

Black smirked at me, clearly thinking I'd be devastated over the week-long detention, but I simply shook my head.

"I might have detention but it was still worth it," I said, starting to work on my essay again.

"Mr. Black, please come back to your seat. I will not accept that easy after its deadline," McGonagall called out to him. He glanced at the professor before narrowing his eyes at me and starting to walk down to his seat.

"Oh, and Black? Don't try to wash it off or anything, it'll stay with you for two days," I called after him in a sing-song voice.

He stopped midway to his desk and turned around to face me. James noticed the exchanged and jumped up, moving to Black and talking to him lowly. I was pretty sure that if it hadn't been for James, Black would have hexed me to New York City. Rule nº 1 about Black: nobody messes with him and his hair.

Alice turned to me with an amused smile. The entire class' attention was fixed on Black and I, some of them laughed again their eyes found the Gryffindor prince but others truly looked worried for my wellbeing. I simply smiled back at Alice, knowing James would calm Black down.

"So, what did you think? Was it too simple?" I asked her.

"Are you joking? I have been waiting for someone to do that for years!" she laughed.

At the end of the day, we all met at the Common Room, just like everyday. Mary and Lily were talking about the Potions assignment due to next Thursday; James was playing a game of magical chess with Remus, although his gaze kept drifting back to Lily. I sat on the floor, behind me was an empty seat but I loved the soft carpet. Marlene was lazily sprawled on the couch, taking up all the room and playing with her wand. Peter was doing his homework. Black hadn't showed up all day. I hated to admit it but I felt like shit. The satisfaction that came with the prank disappeared the moment I realized the entire castle was continuously laughing at him. Even the professors had a hard time keeping a straight face when people said why Black wasn't present. But this was Black; surely he didn't care about all that. Right?

_I cannot wait to see you, I miss you._

_Love, _

_Meredith. _

I folded my letter to Fabian and wrote the address. The Hogsmeade trip was this Saturday, and the faster it came the more excited I got. I missed Fabian and couldn't wait to see him. Then, the portrait door opened and my siblings came in. Ariadne and Christian were laughing at something they and their friends were joking about; Christian pushed Jeremiah slightly at something he said while he put an arm around his girlfriend, while Ariadne kept giving this one boy I didn't know the 'flirty eyes'. Suddenly, and unfortunately for me, they noticed me.

"Hello, little sister," Christian started.

"Rumour has it you jinxed the prince," Ariadne laughed as she leaned on the couch Marlene was using as a bed.

I made a noncommittal gesture with my face and pretended to be very interested on the game going on near me. Unfortunately, the twins' arrival had caught everyone's attention. The entire common room had fallen silent; most of everyone's stares were on us. I bit my lip.

"Fine, what if I did?" I asked.

"Well, someone's cranky," Ariadne laughed.

"Relax, sister, we only wanted to say, 'good job'," Christian told me.

I faked a smile and went back to my job. If Christian and Ariadne Potter said something I did was right, then it was totally wrong. Remus seemed to catch my internal suffering, because he got up and asked me to take a walk with him.

"So," Remus cleared his throat.

"No, please, I don't want to talk about it."

We fell silence after that and kept walking. I noticed how Remus looked a little paler than usual, and still had a nasty scratch on his left cheek, but apart for that he didn't look too bad. I was glad. Usually, he'd have to spend at least an entire week but this month he had only spent one day.

"Do you know if—if Mary has a date to Hogsmeade?" he suddenly asked.

"No, I don't think she does, why?" I asked. Then, an idea occurred to me. I gasped. "Do you want to take her?"

He chuckled nervously, a hand on his neck. He cleared his throat several times before he was able to talk.

"Well, there is an idea."

I squealed like a little girl and threw myself at him excitedly. He was going to ask her out. Mary was perfect for him. I spent the entirety of our walk talking animatedly about how he could ask her, while he kept being shy, and just like that all my worries about Sirius and the world disappeared. For a while.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter 6_**:

I sighed as I buried my face in my pillow. It was seven, which meant I had to get up. I didn't want to. I sat up in bed, groaning. I barely registered how my hair strangely didn't fall into my face like a long curtain but shrugged it off; I must have left it in a bun at the top of my head. I got up and walked half-awake half-asleep to the bathroom. Lily was reading while lying on her bed. She was already dressed and so focused on her book she didn't even look up. Marlene was dressed and her hair was damped but she was taking a little nap. Mary, however, looked up when I walk into one of the legs of her bed. Her eyes widened to the point I was afraid her eyes would fall out of their sockets.

"Oh... my... God..." she said slowly. She quickly got out of bed and walked up to me. "Mere, please promise me you won't freak out."

"What do you mean?" I asked as she dragged me to the bathroom.

Mary opened the wooden door and led me inside. I shuddered as my bare feet touch the cold marble of the bathroom's floor. Mary took a step back and signalled for me to see my reflection in the mirror. My heart skipped a beat when I saw what the mirror showed me. There was a reason why my hair hadn't bothered me at all. Instead of reaching my waist, now it barely reached my shoulders. And instead of being my golden blonde, it was now a light lavender colour. Although I had to admit the cut was perfectly done, that wasn't the point. The point was my hair was gone and purple, a colour I don't even like. I couldn't help myself, I screamed.

Mary covered her ears, flinching. Outside the bathroom, I heard the distinctive sound of something falling to the floor, followed by a loud 'Ouch!'. I supposed my scream had woken Marlene up. I turned on my feet and stormed out of the bathroom. Lily gasped as she looked at me, while Marlene simply gaped at me from a heap of sheets on the floor. After grabbing my wand from the bedside table, I opened the door to our dorm angrily and slammed it close.

Walking up to the Boy's dorm, I started to knock on the door as hard as I could and repeatedly. No one answered me but I could hear some ruffling inside.

"James Potter, open this door this instant!" I yelled to the door.

"Fuck," Remus said, although it was muffled by the door.

"James, open the door or I'll use my wand! I'm being serious," I warned.

A few seconds later, the door was opened by Peter. When he saw me, he burst out laughing but was nice enough to cover it with a cough. I rolled my eyes and went past him, glaring at anyone who got in the way, until I reached the four-poster bed I was aiming for. With one swift motion I tore the covers away from its owner. A loud groan escaped Black as he rolled over, trying to find the covers again. When he realized they weren't anywhere to be found, he sat up, rubbed his eyes and slowly opened them. He blinked at me repeatedly, a little confused. When reality reached him, he burst out laughing. I narrowed my eyes at him and pointed my wand at his nose.

"You cut my hair off?" I exclaimed. "And turned it purple? You know I hate purple!"

He kept laughing at me so I did the most mature thing I could think of: I walked forward and smacked him over the head with the back of my hand. I hit him again and again until he stopped laughing and started to try and avoid the hits.

"Ouch, Meredith, that hurts," he says, moving out of the way.

"Yeah? Wait until I actually get started, get over here." I tried to reach him again but he got out of the bed and stood at the other side.

"Oh, come on! You dyed my hair orange, remember?" he pulled at his still orange hair. The orange from his face had already vanished but his hair was still bright orange.

"Yes but I didn't cut it off! Have you any idea how long it took me to grow it out?"

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to grow it again. Don't worry, I'm sure Fabian will love it." He mocked me. I gasped.

"The trip to Hogsmeade is today," I said as I slowly sat down on James' bed, right next to Sirius'.

I had totally forgotten about that, in my haste. Fabian would hate the hair, I knew it, and it wasn't like I could ask Black to unspell it. I didn't deserve that kind of kindness.

"Oh, no, I—I can't go like this. It's too embarrassing." I shook my head. Then my eyes found Black again and my anger came back. "You couldn't get revenge tomorrow, could you? It had to be today!"

"Well, you didn't ask for my schedule. Why should I ask for yours?"

I hesitated before looking at the others. Remus was looking at me sympathetically, shaking his head once in a while. I knew the guys would get lectured once I was out of the room. Peter would have to hold back laughter every time he looked at me and James' smile had long vanished. This sucked big time. But I couldn't complain, I had done the same to him, he was only getting even. But I did know something: this was it; I would not get revenge ever again. At least not on Sirius Black.

"Fine, you win. I'm not going to Hogsmeade anymore. I hope you're happy," I told him bitterly before getting up and turning to the door.

"Very," he called after me and I had to fight the urge of going back there and hitting him again.

"Woah, what happened to you?" Professor Grace exclaimed as he opened the door to his office.

I stormed in, huffing. I started to pace around the office, reading through the book's covers and trying to see if there was one about charms so I could get the damn purple colour out of my hair.

"Sirius bloody Black happened. I swear I hate him," I said as I gave up and sat down on a chair.

I looked at Tobias only to realize he was stifling a laugh. I gasped.

"Don't laugh at me!"

He cleared his throat, clearly amused, before nodding and walking to his desk. He was wearing muggle clothing, some jeans and a The Beatles shirt. I found it weird. Tobias Grace was definitely a bizarre wizard.

"Well? Do something, please. The Hogsmeade group leaves in twenty minutes and I will not give Black the satisfaction of not seeing me there." I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Why would he not want you there?" he asked, lifting an amused eyebrow.

A light breeze went inside and pushed my now short hair into my face, I pushed it back angrily. Now that it was short, it got into my face for pretty much any reason. I hated it. It was much easier to manipulate when it was long.

"Because Fabian—he's my boyfriend.—will be there and he makes me happy. Black hates seeing me happy," I said, matter-of-factly.

Tobias looked up from his papers and I looked down.

"And, well, because I dyed his hair fluorescent orange," I added, embarrassed.

"Yeah, that was a good laugh." He chuckled.

Walking up to me, he took his wand out of his jeans' pocket and pointed at my head. After muttering a spell under his breath, he smiled at me and put his wand away.

"I'm blonde again?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, you are."

"Thank you!" I beamed at him. "You know it's not fair. My spell was supposed to last almost two days, Minnie unspelled him this morning. Sometimes, I think she_ does_ favouritism even if she says she doesn't."

"Who's Minnie?" he asks, confused.

"Oh," I laughed. "It's Professor McGonagall. We call her Minnie."

He nodded, understanding dawning on his face. I couldn't help to realize how handsome Tobias Grace actually was. His blue eyes shined with the clear light and his American accent was kind of endearing. Dressed like he was and if I found him in a party, I'd definitely flirt with him.

"Do you want my opinion?" he suddenly asked.

"About what exactly?" I asked, suddenly very aware of how British I sounded. It was weird against his American accent.

"Sirius Black? To me, it sounds like he's jealous." He told me.

I snorted. "Black, jealous of me? No, sir. He's got girls lining up."

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like you," he told me. I frowned. "Fancy you," he corrected.

I thought about it. He did seem uncomfortable that time at the ice cream parlour, and lately he only dated blondes and was acting more strangely than usual, and he had been pretty worried about me since the whole library accident. But that did not mean he fancied me. That only meant we were, on some level, still friends.

"Aren't you supposed to leave for Hogsmeade?" Tobias reminded me. I snapped myself out of my reverie and nodded. I walked to the door.

"See you Monday, Professor Grace." I waved at him.

"See you Monday, Meredith." He answered me as he gave me a smile.

"It's sad she's not coming, though." Alice commented to Lily as they made their way toward town.

"Yeah, I was hoping she'd help me buy Marlene's birthday present." Lily frowned.

I was only a few people away from them and could hear them perfectly. I passed a few people and ran up to them, jumping in-between them. Alice shrieked, while Lily jumped and put a hand on her chest.

"Surprise! I've decided to come and, look, I'm blonde again." I laughed, showing them a strand of my hair.

"You are, this is so great." Alice beamed at me.

I looked around and was disappointed not to find the marauders anywhere near us. The entire road was filled with some orange and brown leaves; this year's autumn had reached us faster than usual. That could either mean winter would be longer but not so cold or that it'd be colder than the North Pole. I was praying for the first one. I unbuttoned my coat but didn't take it off completely.

"Where are the others?" I asked Lily.

"Well, Marlene left early with her date and Mary left with the guys a few minutes ago. They're going to the three broomsticks so we'll get a table. I invited Alice along," Lily said.

"Oh, all right."

We reached town around ten minutes later. They went to the three broomsticks but I made my way to Tomes and Scrolls, my favourite bookshop. On my way there, someone called my name, making me turn around.

"Heather?"

"Fabian!" I exclaimed happily.

He chuckled and walked up to me, I stood on my tiptoes so I could give him a peck on the lips. When we broke apart, he took a strand of my hair and lifted an eyebrow. I blushed slightly.

"So, change of style, uh?" he asked me.

"I... not really—umm, well I pulled a prank on Black, you see," I started.

I told him everything that had happened so far. He laughed out loud when I told him about the fluorescent orange and had the decency to frown deeply when I told him it had been Black the one to cut my hair.

"You hate it. Does it look that bad?" I pouted.

"No," he said quickly, putting his arms around my waist. "Of course not, Mere, but what bothers me is that he did it without your consent. And it's not like you can make it grow overnight; he crossed the line." He added, looking down at me.

"Yeah, I suppose. But let's not talk about Black, please." I requested as I took his hand and started to walk.

Some people waved at us as we passed; old school mates of Fabian and some of my friends. I tried to talk to almost all of them and not show my annoyance at the same time. We got into the library and I bought four new books, then I bought hot pink ink for the tittles of my notes and Fabian got me a new scarf, which I put on right away. Eventually though, we ended up at the Three Broomsticks.

The place was packed and so full of chattering that it was hard hearing each other. We managed to find a table in a secluded corner and sat down. I rested my head in his shoulder as he started talking about work. I found his work very dangerous but in a way fascinating, which was natural. Almost my entire family worked as aurors, either that or politics. So I guessed it was in my blood.

"James showed me the article of _The Prophet_. Have all those disappearances really happened?" I asked him.

"Yes," he said gloomily. "And there have been even more. The Order is going crazy; there've been a few battles but nothing too big, although they expect it'll be worse."

I bit my lip and squeezed his hand. The worry I had placed in the back of my mind came rushing back and made me wanna cry. But I wasn't about to cry over this. He wouldn't tell me stuff anymore if I did.

"Will you promise you'll be careful?" I asked him as I turned to face him.

He reached out to me and put his hand on my cheek, his thumb caressing my bottom lip. He looked me in the eye for a moment before smiling and leaning in to kiss me. I melted into the kiss as butterflies erupted in my stomach. As we broke apart, loud laughter, louder than the one already surrounding us, reached our ears.

"Oh, come on, moony! You know it was funny," Black said.

"I don't think so," Remus retorted.

I frowned and turned to the left, where the conversation was coming from. Two tables away from ours, and clearly not knowing I was there, the Marauders plus Alice, Mary, Dorcas, Lily and a blonde whose face I couldn't see sat. My frown deepened when I realized they were talking about me. Lily was saying something about the cut being too short and that it'd take years to grow to its former length, and how in hell had they managed to get into their dorms? Up until that particular point, James was nodding along with her. When she mentioned how they got to our dorms, the Marauders shared a slightly nervous look.

"Wait, you agree?" Lily asked, surprised. "You don't think Sirius was hilarious as always."

"No, I actually got mad. He wasn't supposed to cut it," James said, turning to look at Lily with a hopeful look on his face.

He was most likely surprised Lily was willingly talking to him. I watched as Alice asked something, too low for me to hear from here, to James, who turned to Sirius in return. My eyes followed and my mouth fell open. Sirius Black had his arms around a very pretty blonde, with sparkling blue eyes and fair skin. Her hair was in a fish-tail braid, one exactly like I had braided on Marlene's hair this morning. The girl looked up at Black and smiled, he smiled in return and she pecked him on the lips. I gasped. My best friend was dating my ex-boyfriend. This was a girl's worst nightmare.

"What?" Fabian asked when he heard me gasp.

He followed my gaze and looked at me again. I kept my eyes on the couple. They must have felt my burning gaze on them because they both turned to look my way at the same time. Marlene looked like she was chocking on air while Black had a frown on his face as he stared at my blonde hair. The others got quiet and followed the couple's gaze. I didn't see their reactions; I couldn't tear my eyes away from the other two.

"Marlene is wearing my sweater without asking, I had planned on using that one today," I finally said, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from the group and look at Fabian.

"Isn't that what you girls do?" he joked.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right." I laughed, although it came out a little forced.

I hate to admit my day was pretty much ruined. Marlene tried to meet my eyes at least a hundred times but every time we agreed on looking over at the same time, I averted my eyes. At five, we went back to the castle. Fabian accompanied me as far as he could go.

"It's not fair," I pouted. "I never get to see you."

"Yeah, well, I'll come to the next trip." He pulled me closer.

"But that's on November, the end of it to be exact." I complained.

Usually, Hogsmeade trips were four per trimester but this year, and thanks to the war, Dumbledore decided to make it only two trips. It sucked.

"I know." Fabian frowned.

I put my forehead against his and he leaned in to kiss me softly. I sighed as I put my arms around him and hugged him. I would miss my red-headed prankster slash auror very much.

"I'll miss you," I said.

"I'll miss you, too. And I'll write constantly, all right? The rest of October and November will pass by in a rush, I promise." He kissed the top of my head before burying his face on the crook of my neck.

"Meredith, let me explain..." Marlene started the moment they all went into the common room.

I was sitting near the fire, one of my new books opened on my lap, and Lyanna, Mary's cat, resting between my feet. When the door opened and Marlene's voice reached me, I looked up. Only to look down again and keep reading.

"There's nothing to explain, Mar, you got yourself a date, who happens to be my ex, and chose not to tell me." I shrugged as I passed a page slowly.

"No, you don't get it. I was going to tell you but—but I thought you wouldn't let me go." At this I looked up.

"Why? It's a free country, you can do whatever, sorry, _whoever_ you want." I corrected myself.

The boys looked at the staircase longingly, obviously not wanting to be a part of a girl's quarrel, but one look from me stopped them. Meanwhile, the girls shared a look before taking a step forward. Mary reached me first and took the book away from my hands, while Lily cautiously took my wand, which was on the table, out of reach.

"Mere, really—" James tried to defend Marlene but I interrupted him.

"Don't, or you'll be next." I warned him. He took a step backwards.

"It is _not_ like that!" Marlene protested angrily.

"No? Then how is it? Do tell," I said sarcastically.

Marlene hesitated. "I—he's nice and loyal and _not_ the arse you make him seem."

Sirius smirked cockily next to James while James nodded along with Marlene. Remus was watching everything quietly at Sirius' other side, Mary at his side, and Peter was eating a chocolate frog nervously. Mary awed a little at Marlene's words before shaking her head. I rolled my eyes at her comment. Please, they had never even been that close.

"So, you dating him has got _nothing _to do with his 'arse' being incredibly hot?" I asked sarcastically, forgetting that said arse was in the room and using quoting marks with my fingers at the word 'arse'.

Black turned his face to me so fast, I was sure his neck would hurt him tomorrow morning. All the boys were looking at me like I had grown a second head. Seriously, what was such a surprise? Just because Black wasn't exactly my closest friend did not mean I didn't know he was hot. I wasn't blind.

"Well, that, too." Marlene admitted, laughing a little.

"Obviously," Mary muttered before turning a hot pink.

The four of us looked at each other silently for a moment. My anger slowly subsided when I noticed the ridiculousness of the situation. I was arguing with her because she was dating my ex? Really? Sirius and I broke up a long time ago, it didn't matter who he dated. Marlene was free to go after him._ I_ was being ridiculous. When Marlene and I met eyes, we burst out laughing. Lily and Mary joined us. Mary covered her face while Lily returned me my wand.

"I'm sorry, Mar."

"Don't worry about it." She hugged me. "You sure you are okay with all this?"

I met Lily's eyes over her shoulders. She sent me a message I understood clearly. I pursed my lips. Was I okay with this? No, and Lily knew that. But there was no need for Marlene, or Black, to know that.

"Yes," I said, trying to keep all tension away from my voice. I broke away from the hug and smiled at her.

"I will never understand girls," Peter said.

"I don't think any of us will, mate," James replied.

The girls and I laughed at that and assured the boy that, in fact, no, they'd never be able to read us. Then, just for good measure and to make clear to everyone that I was _not_ mad, I added dramatically as I put a hand to my forehead and looked at both Marlene and Sirius: "You have my blessing."

Everyone laughed at that and the remaining tension went away. We sat down close to the fire as the Common Room started to fill with other students. They told me about their day and what they had bought and I told them about mine. Black kept frowning at my hair all the time until James got tired of it.

"Padfoot, stop it! It won't turn purple again just for staring at it." He exclaimed.

"Shhh, I think it's working," Black muttered in return.

"No, it's not," I said quickly, taking one strand and looking at it nervously.

The boys snickered at my reaction and I glared at them fiercely.

"Don't laugh, I might be all rays and sunshine right now but I haven't forgot you all helped," I told Peter and James. Their smiles melted off.

"Mmm, maybe we should go to sleep. We've got Quidditch practice tomorrow." James rushed as the four Marauders stood up, stumbled a little, and ran up the stairs. Leaving us girls to do what we really wanted to: gossip.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter 7:_**

"Happy Birthday!" we yelled at the top of our lungs, making the sleeping girl jump out in surprise.

"What? No," she drawled, covering her face with her pillow.

We laughed and I jumped into Marlene's bed. Lily, Mary, Alice and Dorcas followed. I had to admit the bed was definitely not big enough to fit six grown girls but we managed somehow.

"Come on! You're seventeen, you can finally do magic outside Hogwarts!" I said excitedly.

"And there's the party tonight," Mary added.

"And all the presents," Lily said in a sing-song voice.

At this, Marlene lifted her head and peered at us from a curtain of light-blonde hair. We smiled broadly at her but once she saw we didn't have presents with us she covered her face again and tried to keep sleeping.

"Come on, McKinnon, we got up early to surprise you!" Dorcas complained.

"It's my birthday, Meadowes; I can sleep in if I want to." Marlene huffed.

With that, Marlene McKinnon turned her back to us and went back to sleep. We sighed and looked at each other. Dorcas was frowning angrily at the back of Marlene's head, while Alice simply rolled her eyes and got up to leave. Well, there go two of us. My gaze drifted to the other two: Mary wasn't even in the bed anymore and Lily was shooting me a look.

"Do the thing," she whispered to me.

"No way." I shook my head.

Last time had freaked me out, there was no way I was doing that again. But Lily insisted so I gave up, as always. Shaking Marlene's shoulder, I said:  
"Okay, I'll read your palm and tell you everyone's presents before you open them so you'll know when to fake excitement."

Marlene immediately sat up, a big smile on her face, and threw herself at me in a can't-breathe-let-go-now kind of hug.

"Thank you, that's all I wanted. But you can only tell me the thing of the presents, don't read my hand. I don't want you to tell when I'll die or something." Marlene gushed.

Lily and I laughed and shook our heads at her.

After Marlene got dressed, we went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was Saturday and, even though we were at the end of November and it had snowed a little in the last couple of days, today's weather was perfect. As soon as Marlene entered the place, the entire Gryffindor table and some members of the other houses jumped up and yelled:

"Happy Birthday!"

Marlene laughed. Sirius and James lifted their wands and conjured big letters in the sky with shining colours that said 'Happy 17th birthday, Marlene!' then Remus made fireworks come out of his wands and they surrounded the entire place. Confetti fell down from the ceiling. We all looked up, amazed, as we laughed.

"And here's your present," Sirius said.

He gave her a big box with a laced ribbon on the top. She took it and glanced at me; I rolled my eyes, a smile in my face, and closed them. I opened my eyes again and nodded at Marlene. She opened the box to reveal a beautiful portable camera. It wasn't one of those big things every family owned, it was actually perfect for going around and snapping pictures of everything and anything. I had always, ever since I found out those were created, wanted one.

"Oh, my God, thank you so much, Sirius!" she exclaimed.

Putting the box aside, she put her arms around a smiling Sirius Black and kissed him. No, scratch that. They weren't kissing, they were snogging each other like there was no tomorrow. Right in front of me. I frowned at the weird feeling in my stomach and moved along the table. I sat down next to Remus and in front of Peter and Dorcas. Most of the tables, except for the Slytherin table, were empty because almost everyone was all huddled together around Marlene to congratulate her but I wasn't paying attention to her anymore. I grabbed the cereal and poured it down on my bowl before adding some yogurt angrily. Remus, Dorcas and Peter looked at me curiously but I ignored them. Then, Lily sat down next to me, her present for Marlene on the table. I glanced at the wrapped gift before putting a spoonful of cereal, still angry, although I didn't know why.

"So you got her those high heels she wanted, huh?" I asked.

"Yes," Lily replied, surprised over the fact that I had once again guessed what the gift was.

"Great, maybe now she'll stop stealing things of mine," I said bitterly as I took another spoonful.

"What?" Peter asked me.

I looked up, not even realizing what I had said and quickly shook my head. "Nothing."

Remus sent me a look and so did Lily but I ignored them, focusing on my breakfast instead. We'd talk later, we always did. After everyone was finished congratulating Marlene, she, Sirius and James made their way over to our section of the table and sat down. James sat down next to Lily, usually she'd scowl and look at him funny but this time she seemed to enjoy his company. I tried not to smile. Marlene and Sirius sat across James and the conversation started. I didn't pay attention at all. Suddenly, Lily nudged my arm and I looked up at her.

"Pay attention or they'll notice you're acting weird," she whispered in my ear.

She was right, what the hell was wrong with me? The problem was that, at the moment, I didn't know. I tried to involve myself into the conversation, it took a while but I was able to do it eventually.

"So, Mere, where's my present?" Marlene asked me.

"I don't know... I think I might have lost it—or mailed it home by accident." I teased.

She gaped at me for a second before pouting at Sirius. He laughed and shook his head at me. I didn't return the smile. Tension filled the air around all of us again. That seemed to happen a lot lately, although we hadn't figured out why.

"Marlene!" Alice called as she walked up to us. "Here's your present, I'm late for something but I'll see you tonight!" she gave her a wrapped present and ran off.

I looked at the badly wrapped present and sighed. Marlene looked at me hopefully.

"Pity," I said as I got up from the table. "You already have it."

With that comment and the weird satisfaction of seeing Marlene's face fall, I walked out of the Great Hall.

After a lot of wandering around, I found myself sitting below this huge beech tree at the shore of the black lake. It was kind of our tree; at the end of each term or on a lazy Sunday we would all head down here and hang out, play with grass, sometimes even take a dip at the lake. I had my legs up and my arms around them, my chin resting on my knees as I looked at the mass of water in front of me. Every once in a while, the giant squid would make a short-termed appearance. I sighed, turning my head to the side so I could see the marvellous castle of Hogwarts in all its glory. There was something wrong with me and I had to fix it before tonight's party, which was in exactly seven hours.

"Hey, that seat taken?" Lily's voice reached me.

I lifted my head to see Lily and Remus standing to my other side, a small smile on their faces, although Remus' was a little sad. I motioned with my hand for them to sit and so they did.

"What's going on, Mere?" Remus asked me.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I put my head back on my knees, my hair facing them.

I heard Remus sigh loudly but he didn't comment. I thought that was it. I'd finally have my peace and try to come to terms with what I had discovered on my own. But I was wrong, very wrong.

"You're hardly ever mean to any of us. You're never mean to Marlene, to Sirius, yes, everyday, but never Marlene. So obviously something is going on." Lily protested.

I groaned and sat up straight. I ran a hand through my short hair, the bobby pins I had put on so it wouldn't fall on my face falling to the grass as I did so.

"I—I don't know, okay? It's just that every bloody time I see them together I just feel like—BLAHGH!" I made a sound as I moved my hands so it looked like I was strangling someone.

"Are you jealous?" Remus asked, shocked.

"No!" I said quickly. Lily and Remus shared a look, clearly not believing me. "No, guys, I'm not jealous. But Marlene is blonde, like me, she has the exact same sense of fashion as me, reads the same things I read and... And he acts around her in the same way he acted around me." I finished lamely.

Lily moved over to me and put a hand on my arm, comfortably. She met my eyes and I saw nothing but clear understanding in them. She didn't judge me or anything, she understood why I was acting the way I was.

"I don't get it. I thought you were over him." Remus frowned.

"I am, trust me. I mean, it did take me six months but I _am_ over him. But—I'm being stupid, all right? I had never seen him with a serious girlfriend and her being my best friend was a low blow but I'll be fine—and now I'm ranting, I'm sorry," I said as I passed another hand through my hair.

"Well, at least you know how he feels every time he sees you with Fabian..." Remus muttered.

That made perfect sense. It would explain his odd behaviour. I couldn't believe this. I nodded slowly, guilt filling me. I had been shoving it on his face and now I knew why he looked so uncomfortable. Karma was a bitch. My eyes started to blur with tears but I managed to contain them.

"If it makes you feel better, all of us rooted for you two. We don't really like Marlene as his girlfriend that much." Remus tried to cheer me up, which did the exact opposite.

"Thank you, I suppose." I laughed, although it soon turned into tears.

"Oh, sweetheart, come here. We're sorry." Lily consoled me as she hugged me. Remus soon joined, suddenly freaked out about having a tearful girl near him.

"No, no, it's fine, really." I sniffed. Wiping my face with the back of my hands, I stood up and looked down at them. "Let's go, I still have to decide what to wear for tonight's party."

They got up and we started to walk up to the main entrance of the castle. Halfway up to the Gryffindor castle, Remus parted ways with us and left to find something in the kitchen, most likely tonight's food. We kept on walking, talking about school projects when suddenly Lily stopped me and grabbed me into an empty classroom. I gasped and turned to look at her like she had grown a second head.

"All right, what are you going to do about this?" Lily demanded. "I know you didn't say anything because Remus was there."

"What do you mean?" I asked, going to the professor's desk and sat on it.

"About Fabian!" Lily exclaimed, pacing back and forth in front of me. "Listen, I love you, okay? And because of that I have to tell you this: Sirius is the love of your life, Meredith. So you go into that castle tonight and get him back!"

I gaped openly at her. What was she talking about? I was not getting Sirius Black back. First, because I did _not_ steal my friends' boyfriends, and second, because I did _not_ like Sirius in any way.

"Lily... no."

"Yes."

"No! And don't say yes again. Sure, I haven't loved anyone again but that's because I haven't even tried. I am now and I'm not breaking up with Fabian." I elaborated.

Lily turned to me, a disappointed look on her face. Her arms fell to her sides as she looked at me closely, waiting for any sigh that suggested I was lying.

"You're not?" she asked me. I shook my head. "And you really fancy him? Like you see yourself falling for him?"

"Yes, can you understand that?" I asked her.

She sat down next to me. "Yeah, I suppose. I mean, as long as you're happy." I could hear the saddened tone in her voice perfectly. I sighed and got up, pulling her with me.

"Let's go," I told her as we walked out of the classroom. "Can I borrow that blouse you have that's so pretty?"

"Sure, as long as I can borrow your skirt." She laughed. And with that I decided what to wear.

I walked through the crowd, trying hard not to stumble into anyone. I had decided to wear Lily's shirt and some high-waisted light blue pants. Lily was chatting away with Alice animatedly; James, Remus and Peter were talking and laughing, Mary was with Dorcas and Charlie by the table that was full of food and drinks, while Sirius and Marlene were near the fire. I avoided them at all costs. The portrait hole was open so everyone could come in. The party took up the entire Gryffindor common room and two near corridors and everyone was invited, no matter what house they were in. Although most of everyone inside the common room were Gryffindors. In the centre of the room was what I considered to be the greatest mistake ever made: karaoke. The songs were chosen by magic so you had to sing whatever it was that came up. A recipe for disaster. None other than Emilia Greene was singing a song terribly off key, I cringed as I looked at her and accidental walked into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't worry about it." The girl shook her head. With a start, I realized it was Regina. I smiled.

"Regina, hi! How are you?"

"I'm fine, great actually, although Potions is kicking my ass." She nodded, laughing a little. I laughed along.

"Yeah, well, that happens. I haven't seen you in weeks, did Marlene invite you?" I asked her, truly curious.

Regina looked behind my shoulder; I turned my head and saw that she was watching Marlene and Sirius. Marlene was laughing at something another guy had said but Sirius looked slightly bored. I looked back at Regina.

"No, actually, Lily did." She shook her head. "I can't believe he's dating _her_. I always thought... never mind." She shook her head, looking at me weirdly.

"Yeah, that's been a common topic around here." I nodded but frowned when a familiar tune and voice reached my ears.

I twirled around in my place so I could face the little make-up stage. Marlene was up there, singing, perfectly may I add, _our_ song. She not only dated my ex, she was singing him _my_ song. I looked around to notice that our entire group was looking at me, trying to decipher whether I was going to combust or not. I wasn't sure yet.

"Oh, you have _got_ to be kidding me," I muttered.

This was on purpose. She was doing this to get back at me for what happen this morning, I knew it.

"Something wrong?" Regina asked me worriedly.

"No, I—excuse me," I told her before walking toward our group.

Everyone had gathered together the moment Marlene got on stage. Sirius was still sitting near the fire, completely uncomfortable. _Good, stay that way. _

"Meredith..." Dorcas started.

"No, shut it. She's a bitch, what kind of person does that?" I asked them all. No one answered.

The song ended pretty soon and Quintus Perry, a seventh year Gryffindor, took the microphone away from her. Everyone started to clap but I was seething.

"Well, that was very good; another clap for the birthday girl, please!" Quintus explained. Everyone clapped again excitedly, Marlene laughed. "Now, I don't think there's anyone here who can do better." Quintus teased the crowd.

"I can," I called out, making the place go silent.

Marlene looked over to me; I narrowed my eyes at her. She rolled her eyes and looked away.

"Very well, come up here," Quintus said, looking between me and Marlene nervously.

Once I stood on the stage, music started to fill the air. I frowned. I hated this song and it wasn't even magical.

"This is a muggle song," I voiced my thoughts.

"Yes, it is. Is that a problem?" Marlene asked me innocently.

"None," I snapped. "Now get off of my stage."

She did as told and Quintus took a step aside, suddenly very nervous and confused. Everyone was, actually. Marlene and I hadn't been good friends at first, but after second year we became very close. We never fought. I looked up at the crowd to realize Sirius was standing next to James, who looked like he was about to freak out. The four marauders huddled together in a circle, talking and muttering like school girls. I rolled my eyes at them, it wasn't like I was planning a murder, I was simply singing.

"_I hate you, don't leave me, I feel like I can't breathe. Just hold me, don't touch me,"_

That shut them up. In fact everyone hushed each other and turned to me. Even Marlene seemed surprised to see I was actually going through with this. If I were to be honest, I even surprised myself. I hadn't sung in front of people in at least a year and a half.

_"And I want you to love me but I need you to trust me, stay with me, set me free. But I can't back down, no, I can't deny, that I'm staying now cause I can't decide. Confused and scared I'm terrified of you,"_ I sang perfectly, a frown on my face.

This song sounded oddly familiar. I had definitely heard it before but I didn't remember where. I continued throughout the song without much thought, although the words were bothering me a little bit. In fact, they were bothering Marlene as well. I didn't even dare to look at Sirius, even if my eyes kept wavering back to him. It wasn't until the last verse that I realized why the song sounded familiar.

"_They forget me, don't see me. When they love me, they leave me. I admit I'm in and out of my head, don't listen to a single word I say, just hear me out before you run away. Cause I can't take this pain. I hate you, don't leave me. I hate you, please love me."_ I finished.

The common room erupted in applause and I smiled. Quintus took the microphone away from me and asked Marlene if she wanted to come up to the stage again.

"No, she wins." Marlene shook her head.

I jumped off stage and quickly made my way over to Lily, who was busy trying to put her wand back into her pocket.

"That wasn't fair," I said, making her jump up.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she denied although she was slowly but surely turning a bright shade of red.

"You magically chose the song. You love that song and I don't think it's a coincidence that it pretty much matched our previous conversation!" I whispered-yelled at her, hoping the marauders wouldn't hear.

"Woah, you had a conversation?" Mary asked.

"It's—it's not important," I shook my head. "What _is_ is that you manipulated the radio so it'd play a song related to us." I finished.

Then Dorcas entered the small muttering circle. She looked at Lily's red face and at my outraged expression before turning to a worrying Mary.

"Related to whom? You and Lily?" she asked.

"No, Sirius and I!" I exclaimed, letting out a frustrated groan at how thick they were. It wasn't that hard a conversation to follow.

Silence followed my outburst and my face slowly went back to a calm expression, which soon turned into a self-conscious one. The three of them had gone quiet and were looking at me. Lily was fighting a smile while Dorcas looked confused and Mary bit her lip. What?  
"What?" I voiced my thoughts.

"You called him by his name." Lily gushed as she shared a look with the other two girls.

I blinked. Of course I had called him by his name. What other thing would I call him? And that was when it struck me: ever since Sirius and I broke up, and even before that, I had called him Black, just like he had called me Potter. He had now resumed calling me by my first name in public, thanks to the library accident, but I had never called him by Sirius in front of anyone. It had simply slipped out but that little mistake had Lily believe that I was still hung up on him, which I wasn't. I still hated him, I was just a little jealous about him finally getting a serious girlfriend. I was used to him only loving _me,_ which he didn't, of course. I looked around, worried that Marlene or one of the Marauders might have heard, but was surprised to find that Marlene was far off in one corner talking animatedly with Quintus and Alice while Sirius was nowhere to be seen and had left three Marauders looking particularly worried.

"I—you know what? I don't care. You can think whatever you want, but if you'll express your hope for us to get together, then I'll express my—"

"You want them to get back together? Oh, Merlin, so do I!" Mary interrupted.

"—my hopes for you and James to get together." I finished, ignoring Mary completely.

"Aww, yes, please. You'd make a great couple." Dorcas agreed with me, looking at Lily and pleading. I smiled at her.

"See? This is my team." I put my arm around Dorcas'. "Bye, ladies."

With that I walked away with Dorcas, pretending not to notice how Lily didn't object over the idea of her and my cousin together, like she usually did.

...

I jumped out of the portrait hole and into the corridor. Everyone turned to smile at me and congratulate me for my singing, to which I happily said you're welcome and sometime even stopped for a little chat. I wanted air, however, so that's why I walked farther down the hall and went to the right, where a secluded corridor that had a big window was. No one ever came here; so, imagine my surprised when I found none other than Evan Rosier and Sirius Black, arguing loudly. I halted on my step and watched, not understanding at all.

_**A/N: so, here's a chapter finally. don't worry, Marlene won't be a bitch for such a long time. I love her character. as for Meredith's behavior, everyone has known the beauty of denial, right? oh, and btw, I wanted to give you something. I like to imagine Meredith as Claire Holt but with honey brown eyes. I dont know why I told you that, I just wanted you to have a slight idea of what she was like. If you don't like her like that, feel free to tell me how you imagine her to be or keep reading while imagining her in your own way. love, me. **_


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter 8:_**

"Shut up, Rosier," Sirius growled at the Slytherin. "You know nothing."

"You sure about that?" Rosier took a step closer, taunting him. "Some nights, the guys and I like to imagine how it would have happen. We'd have taken turns and everything." Rosier laughed, most likely at Sirius' expression although I couldn't tell because his back was to me.

Then it happened, so fast I almost missed it; Sirius took a stride forward, his fist raised in the air, and punched Rosier straight on the nose. I gasped but covered my mouth. Rosier answered just as furiously and soon enough they were really fighting. No wands, only their hands. I had never seen Sirius fight without his wand. He always used it because he knew he was one of the best at dueling of Hogwarts. I was still amazed to see, though, that he was pretty good at regular fighting too.

"_Protego!"_ I yelled, pointing my wand between the two of them.

The two boys were separated immediately by an invisible barrier. They glared at each other furiously, until Rosier looked my way and smiled wickedly. I didn't pay attention to him, though, instead, I angrily walked toward Sirius and slapped him on the back of his head. I made a mental note on how he had a busted lip.

"What in God's name are you doing?" I hissed.

He looked down at me and frowned, shaking his head. I sighed and glanced at Rosier, I felt a weird kind of satisfaction when I noticed he was pretty banged up, while Sirius only had a busted lip.

"Well, would you look at that. Potter, the gorgeous Potter, coming to the rescue. How does it feel, Black? Being the… what do mudbloods call it?... right, damsel in distress." Rosier mocked, walking as close as he could with the barrier.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him and tried to get to him again but my spell kept pushing him backwards. I rolled my eyes, pointing my wand at Rosier and thinking '_langlock.' _in my mind, not bothering to say the spell out loud. I laughed slightly when Rosier noticed the effect of the spell. My smile faded when he showed me one particular finger and narrowed his eyes at me, before leaving down the corridor. A chill went down my back as I realized it had been the same look Regulus Black had given me in that secluded corridor a month and a half ago, and that it was the same look their group of friends would give me any time I passed by them (even if I had pretended not to notice). _You're on my list, Potter, theirs, too. _Regulus Black's words came back to me and I fought a shudder. Those Slytherins really knew how to hold a grudge and I had just made it worst.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked me once Rosier had disappeared completely.

"I'm great," I said, a little sarcastically. He took his hand off my shoulder immediately, I hadn't even noticed him putting it there, and took a step back. "I'm sorry. I'm bitter today… you're bleeding a lot." I noticed, turning to look at him.

He brought a hand to his lips and looked at his fingers. There was blood there. He groaned and passed a hand through his hair.

"Prongs will freak out if he sees me this way." He grumbled.

"Yes, and so will Marlene," I added. We both frowned, avoiding each other's gaze. "Come on."

I walked into another corridor and toward the stairs, Sirius following me cluelessly. In a metaphorical sense, of course. He co-created the Marauder's map; he knew every corner, every room, every passage of this castle. I stopped in front of the girl's bathroom on the second floor and opened the door, waiting for Sirius to enter. No one ever came here, thanks to Moaning Myrtle, so it was safe for us to use.

"What is it with you and this bathroom?" Sirius asked as he looked around. "You spent most of last year's first trimester here."

"I don't know… it's quiet and peaceful, allows me to think." _Or cry, whatever I feel like. _I added on my mind.

I didn't question his knowledge of my coming here constantly that trimester. He had the Marauder's map, so he, _they_, probably knew where I was all the time.

"Right, and the whining ghost makes the trick for peacefulness." Sirius snorted.

I paused in front of the sink and met his eyes over the mirror. "Right." I nodded, before bursting into laughter.

He soon started to laugh too, leaning into the sink next to mine and crossing his arms. I opened the faucet and looked for a paper towel to damp. I turned to him, paper towel in hand, and forced him to face me. Carefully, I started to clean off the blood off of his lip and chin. The wound wasn't that bad so it would only be a little swollen.

"I liked your song," Sirius commented.

"Thank you. Lily chose it," I said, feeling the urge to clarify I hadn't wanted to sing that.

"Oh," he commented.

I looked up and met his eyes through the locks of hair that had fallen into his eyes. They were a clear liquid gray, not silver at the moment. His eyes tended to change according to his emotions. He moved his head slightly so his hair would go away from his eyes.

"Yes, 'oh'." I nodded. And then, don't ask me why, I gave him a sad smile. "You're done," I added, cleaning off the last bit of blood.

"Thank you, Meredith." He ran another hand through his hair. I noticed how it was longer than usual, almost going past his shoulders.

"You need a haircut," I blurted out.

He lifted an eyebrow and I shrugged, closing the sink's faucet and going to one of the stalls to throw the paper towel away.

"It was only a comment," I called out to him.

"I know… and you're right but—"

"Is that Sirius Black?" a new voice interrupted him.

I walked out of the stall and watched as a very shocked Sirius Black faced none other that Moaning Myrtle, who was looking at him very strangely. I cursed on my mind. Myrtle knew of the existence of Sirius, of course, everybody knew but let's just say she knew a little bit too much.

"Myrtle… what are you doing here? I thought you said you'd be visiting the prefects' bathrooms." I brought her attention.

She twirled around and looked at me, her pimple-full face cracking into a smile. "I was but then I heard you talking through some pipes, you see, and I said to myself 'well, Mere finally lost her mind, talking to herself like that.' and I came here to tell you so only to discover you had company." She explained, before turning to Sirius and adding: "a very cute company." She giggled.

I blushed and turned around so nobody would notice. This was my worst nightmare. Myrtle wasn't exactly known for being subtle; she'd tell Sirius everything I've ever said to her about him.

"I thought you hated him, Mere, what's he doing here?" Myrtle asked with feign innocence.

"I—um, okay, we're leaving, bye, Myrtle." I stammered as I walked past her and took Sirius' arm, before walking out of that bathroom faster than possible. Myrtle was left yelling after us.

"So you talk about me with ghosts, uh? That's so flattering, Meredith." Sirius joked.

I rolled my eyes but allowed a smile. "Shut up, Black." I shoved him a little and he let out a bark-like laugh.

"Whatever you say, Meredith, whatever you say." He shook his head, putting his arm around my shoulder. Don't ask me why I didn't shake it off.

We reached the portrait hole to discover that almost everyone was inside, only a few students outside in the corridors.

"Guys, hurry! We're about to sing 'Happy Birthday'!" Alice said excitedly once she noticed us.

Sirius and I shared a look before hurrying inside the common room. He made a bee-line for Marlene who was standing behind a table with a huge frosted cake in front of her. If I knew Marlene at all, which I liked to believe I did, or at least used to, then the cake was probably strawberry and the frost was vanilla. I made my way to where the Marauders were, avoiding the girls' questioning looks. They had noticed me going in with Sirius. I stood between James and Remus and waited patiently for someone to start singing happy birthday.

"Where have you been?" James asked me.

"Around, outside," I said. James nodded, satisfied with that answer, while Remus eyed me curiously. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"What happened to padfoot?" James asked again, his voice laced with worry.

I turned to look at Sirius, his lip was still a little swollen but nobody had noticed. Nobody except for James, of course.

"What makes you think I know?" I retorted defensively.

"Do you?" He pressed the matter.

I avoided his gaze and instead turned to look at the table again. Marlene's face lit up the moment Sirius neared her. He had one arm around her shoulders, much like he had done with me less than five minutes ago. Marlene caught my eyes and allowed a triumphant smirk, obviously thinking she had won. But I wasn't so sure. There was a pattern here, one I had already pointed out but in the wrong way. Marlene was blonde, she read the same books I read, listened to the same bands, took pretty much the same subjects at school. He behaved around her in the same way he behaved around me. He was using her as a replacement for me. Probably not in the romantic way, they didn't kiss that much in front of us now that I thought of it, but in the friend way.

I had said many times that I missed my friendship with him and apparently so did he. Well, he replaced said friendship with Marlene McKinnon. And she had been stupid enough to believe he actually fancied her. Suddenly, the burning jealousy I had before started to vanish. Sirius Black missed me as much as I missed him, and there was no way he'd be able to replace me with Marlene, he'd find that out eventually and dump her ass. And I wouldn't be there to be her shoulder to cry on. Or maybe I would, I wasn't sure yet. That's why, instead of frowning at her or glaring, I gave her my most radiant smile with a little tint of mischief. Marlene's face fell with confusion.

_"Happy Birthday to you…" _the entire common room chorused and erupted into claps.

Sirius leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips, they received multiple cat calls, effects of the many amounts of alcohol the student body had already consumed and was still consuming. I walked up to Marlene and gave her a hypocrite smile, I received one as well.

"Happy birthday, Mar, your present is wrapped up and on top of my bed. I hope you like it." I smiled a fake smile, so fake I was sure everyone in the room could tell.

"Thank you, I'll go up for it," she said sweetly and as fake as I had.

I watched her go up the stairs to the girls' dorms, an evil smirk in my face. Sirius looked at me funnily, obviously not enjoying my mocking of his girlfriend, but it was kind of his fault. His and the Marauders'. They taught me what real mischief was, they couldn't expect me not to use it as a form of revenge.

"Meredith Jane Potter!" we all heard Marlene yell from the top of the stairs. _Mischief managed,_ I thought.

"Well, enjoy your girlfriend, Black, I bet she must be ecstatic about my present." With that I walked out of the common room.

"What did you do?" he asked, I chose to ignore him.

My present had consisted of a small notebook filled with all the names of every boy I'd ever been with, starting with Sirius Black and ending with Fabian Prewett. On the first page, I had put a small piece of paper with the following text:

_happy 17__th__ birthday, Marlene, dear. Now, as it seems like you love all my leftovers, here's a list of all the other boys I've dated… you know, so you can finish them off too. Have a nice day. With love, Meredith. P.S. the quill is so you can scratch them off as you go, don't worry I already saved you the trouble by scratching Sirius off but you'll have to do the rest. _

Then I had scratched Sirius' name with purple ink and then left the peacock feather quill she had given me as a present last year for her to scratch the other names. I was surprised she hadn't followed me out the common room like a screeching banshee.

Of course my present hadn't been that, at first. It had actually been a lovely necklace that had a magic rock that turned different colors depending on who you were with. But after my talk with Remus and Lily, I came up to my dorm, threw the necklace away, and had instead used an old empty notebook for the actual present. It had taken me a long time to come up with every boy's name but I finally made it. That present had also let me know why the Slytherins thought I was a whore. It was because I truly was, all the boys names had taken up to half of the book. That wasn't healthy.

…..

A week later and a day before the Hogsmeade trip, during lunch, I received some worrisome news. So worrisome that I didn't even react to Marlene's snide remark about why she and Sirius were late—'oh, we were just having so much _fun_ that we lost track of time, if you know what I mean.' –Dorcas had then told her that even the baked potatoes knew what she meant and that she ought to shut up. I would've clapped at her answer if it weren't because I was in such a shock.

We usually all got mail at the same time and the same day, but today was Friday and there were no letters sent in on Fridays. That alone was a red alarm. That was why when five owls entered the Great Hall flying and only delivered letters to six students, I knew something was very wrong. The first owl reached the Huffelpuff table; a second one went to the Ravenclaw table and a third owl delivered the letter to Isabella Marx, a muggleborn girl on Delilah's year. There were two letters left and by then I was praying to God that none of them would come my way, or James'.

My hopes died quickly enough when the fourth owl made a straight line for Christian and Ariadne, who were sitting next to each other and far away from me. Said owl let the letter drop right in-between my siblings. When the final letter fell on my empty plate, I was terrified of opening it. Apparently, so was everyone because nobody had echoed a sound. Slowly but surely I took the letter and recognized the seal. This letter was from my aunt, I didn't know what was worse. That or if it had been from the ministry of magic.

I ripped the envelope open and took the letter form its insides; I barely noticed how the Great Hall had suddenly become quiet. I read the letter quickly and when I was finished I read it again. _Meredith, I have news and they're not good._ It started that way; that was the only complete sentence I would be able to remember later. _A battle… many deaths… multiple attacks… innocents dead… your father… hurt badly… St. Mungo's… healers don't know… _those were the only words that were attached to my mind. Fabian had been right. It would get worse, there were going to be battles. I never though it would affect me this soon. I was a pureblood; I wasn't supposed to get hurt.

"Mere, what's wrong?" was Lily's scared question. I didn't reply; I didn't know how.

"Meredith, really, you're very pale. What's going on?"

Marlene talking directly at me and sounding like my former friend should have had some kind of effect on me, it should have forced me to speak, but it didn't. Everyone started to ask me questions worriedly, demanding that I told them what was going on. I simply ignored them. I stood up so quickly that James' goblet tumbled down and filled the table with icy cold water, or at least that's what it felt like to me when it reached my fingers. I twirled around to the Huffelpuff table, where a fifth year muggleborn boy was covering his mouth with his hand and stifling a sob as her reread his own letter.

Then a heart-wrenching cry made everyone turn to the Ravenclaw table. A petite brunette girl from our years was sobbing uncontrollably as she ran down the corridor and out of the Great Hall, her friends after her. She was a pureblood. I turned to the teacher's table, searching for mum but found her usual seat empty.

"What does the letter say, Meredith?" James demanded, shaking my arm.

"I need… I need to find mum," I managed to say before leaving the letter on my plate and walking down the corridor calmly.

I didn't know if they had made an attempt at following, all I knew was that the moment my eyes met Christian's, it took all my self-control not to cry right there and then. I paused in front of them and they both got up.

"Mere… calm down," he suggested and I noticed I was hyperventilating.

"Dad's… dad is—"

"Alive, that's what matters. Mere, he's _alive."_ Ariadne pressed, putting her hands on my shoulders.

I shook my head, they didn't understand. Yes, he was alive but the healers weren't sure if he would be okay, they didn't even believe he would pass the night. He had lost much blood; it had been a tough fight: three Death Eaters had tried to attack a muggleborn family near the battle and Dad had tried to save them.

"But he's badly injured! He could die," I exclaimed worriedly.

"But he won't. Dad's strong, Meredith, he won't die. Now, you need to calm down before Delilah realizes our letters had bad news as well." Christian ordered in a severe voice that reminded me too much of Dad.

"She doesn't _know?_" I said. I was angry.

They couldn't keep keeping things away from Delilah, she was a smart strong girl, and she could handle the truth. I was starting to believe I wasn't that strong, contrary to popular belief. I just wanted my mum, that's all. But they wouldn't let me go to her office.

"She's not even thirteen yet, Meredith. How does one tell a girl like her that her father might die?" Ariadne asked me.

"She's not stupid, Ari, she will know something's up." I protested.

Although I knew what she meant in a way or another. I wasn't daddy's girl, Delilah was. Actually, she was daddy and mum's girl. She was the spoiled one, the baby girl. I was more attached to the twins than I was to mum and dad. If it had affected me this much, and I usually took bad news well, I couldn't imagine the emotional scar the news would leave on Delilah. Dad had never gotten hurt in a mission, not in my sixteen years of existence at least.

I turned my face to look at my sister. While Christian and Ariadne had sat near the entrance, Delilah had sat near the professors' table. She was looking our way, a frown on her face, while hugging Isabella, who was crying loudly. I realized with a pang what her crying meant. She was a muggleborn; the Death Eaters had been attacking the families of some muggleborns. There had been deaths. I knew Isabella Marx's parents were both dead.

I just knew, every fiber in my body was screaming that piece of information at me. In fact, as my eyes roamed around the Great Hall, I knew our father was the only one who got out alive. The pureblooded Ravenclaw girl who had ran out crying, I realized with a start, was the daughter of a friend of my dad's. Her family had been a recurrent guest in my aunt's Christmas ball. And now her father was dead. It could've been mine.

My eyes met James'. He had stopped reading the letter and had passed it to Remus, who was now passing it over to Sirius. James' face was full of worry and fear, he wasn't even trying to cover it up, and I knew he was pretty much thinking the same thing I was. His father had left unharmed, he was the one who took dad to St. Mungo's in the first place, but he knew the peril my father, his uncle, was in; he knew if it weren't for his father, dad would've died of blood loss. Lily had a hand on his arm and her eyes sparkled with tears. Mary and Dorcas had similar scared looks, while Marlene was biting her lip furiously as she read the letter over Sirius' shoulder.

Once Sirius was done reading, I watched as the letter fell from his hand and swiftly reached the table, where it stayed like a crumble meaningless piece of paper. I lifted my eyes and met Sirius' gray ones. I fought the urge to break down and cry.

"I want mum, I'm going to see mum," I mumbled, my voice trembling slightly.

"We'll go with you, okay? Come on."

With that, and with the nagging voice in the back of my mind that was screaming at me for lying to Delilah, we left the Great Hall and started the long way to my mother's office.

…..

"Mum?" Ariadne asked as we entered the quiet office.

My mother was sitting quietly next to the fire, a letter crumbled between her hands. The light of the fire reflecting on her face made her look gloomy; a stray tear sparkled on her left cheek. When she heard us, she quickly wiped the tear away and cleared her throat.

"Hey, Ari, Chris, Mere…" she turned to face us. I took a step forward and then another until I was kneeling in front of her. She tried to give me a smile as she took a stray strand of my golden short hair and put it behind my ear. "I suppose your aunt has informed you of what happened to your father already." She added sadly.

The twins walked up to us, Ariadne sat down on the chair's arm while Christian put a protective hand on mum's shoulder. We all nodded at the same time.

"Where's Delilah?" she asked Christian.

My brother looked down, ashamed. Apparently his idea of leaving Delilah in the dark wasn't so great anymore.

"We haven't told her yet, not until we're sure Dad is going to be ok," he said.

Our mother studied his face for a moment of silence before moving on her seat so she could face the three of us easily. She took one of our hands each and gave them a squeeze.

"I'm going over there now; I just wanted to talk to you first. Your father will be fine; this isn't the first time he's gone to St. Mungo's. When we were going out and on his first mission, he was injured as well and spent an entire month over at St. Mungo's." she comforted us.

"But aunt Andrea said—" I started.

"I know what she said, Meredith. But I talked directly with the healer and he said things are looking up. It might take some time for him to recover fully but he's not leaving us," she informed me.

"You're sure?" I asked her, my voice trembling a little.

"I'm sure, love." She soothed me.

She then got up and opened her arms. Ariadne and I took a step forward and buried ourselves in the warmness of her embrace, while Christian, ever the mature one, decided to hug all of us. I hated that he couldn't let mum hug him, no he had to be the grown up and hug her, us, the weaklings.

"I love you, the three of you. Tell Delilah the same thing and apologize for my absence." Mother kissed our foreheads and headed for the fireplace.

We watched as she took some floo-powder and called out her destination before disappearing into the green flames and leaving us in the now cold office.

….

"They lied," I mumbled.

Everyone looked up. I hadn't talked to anyone except for my siblings since yesterday but this fact was eating me up from the inside out. I had to tell somebody. We were in the Common Room, around the fire like always, and everyone had been chattering away about the Hogsmeade trip until I spoke up.

"We lied to her, told her Father was fine, that he wasn't in danger at all, that he would probably go home tomorrow." I elaborated.

"And that's not true." Lily stated.

I shook my head. "I thought it was the right thing to do, but what if it wasn't? I mean, we're visiting him today because mum says he's all right but what if he isn't as all right as we made him sound?"

Delilah would never forgive us if she found out we had lied about this to her. Of course we could always say that we didn't know he was in such a state, that we had been informed what we had told her but that would be another lie. If that were to be the case, the guilt would eat me alive.

"I don't understand something, though. If it was a battle, why weren't they prepared for the hit?" Remus asked after realizing no one had an answer to my mostly-rhetorical question.

Everyone remained quiet for a moment, trying to figure that out. I knew something was amiss in the scene, but I wasn't sure what it was.

"Because it wasn't a battle per say, it was an ambush," Sirius said suddenly and I nodded slowly.

"Fabian told me a few days ago that more houses had been marked, two of them were of muggleborns that came to school here. There were four aurors in the area, this wasn't even a mission from the Order," I told them.

Marlene, who was sharing the couch with Mary and Remus, perked up on her seat. "So the aurors were there protecting the families, were they not?"

"Exactly, two aurors per family. It was merely a precaution. But, and I know this might sound crazy, don't you think it's weird that the families that were marked lived only three houses apart? And the aurors that were sent in? they were all part of the Order." I explained my concerns.

"I think Black is right, this was a trick." I stated. "My father, my uncle, Donovan and Strauss… they're four of the best aurors out there. Two of them are part of the Order of Phoenix. They did this on purpose."

Silence filled the air again but this time, the air was filled by a tension never known to any of us. The assumption I had made was hanging upon us but nobody had voiced it yet.

"What does that mean?" Dorcas asked.

"It means," Sirius started after a pause. "That things are about to get worse and worse. It's time we accept the truth."

"And what truth is that exactly, padfoot?" James asked, obviously not liking the way Sirius' face darkened considerably at his own words. I didn't like it, either. It reminded me of Regulus and how he was always frowning.

"The truth is that we're at war and it doesn't matter whether we're muggleborns or pure-blooded, nobody is safe." I stated, meeting Sirius eyes and knowing that was exactly what he had meant.

I watched as our friends' expressions turned from confused and interested to terrified and I realized with a start that none of them had actually believed they were in any danger, none of them had thought that this war was actually real. I felt bad for bursting their bubble but it was time we took things seriously, because Sirius was right: things were about to get worse.


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter 9:_**

I hated hospitals. I had visited a few muggle ones just out of curiosity and their pure white and silence was eerily calm, but nothing compared to St. Mungo's. This place was as creepy as it could get. We walked through a busy hallway, James to my right and Delilah to my left, clutching my hand like her life depended on it. I was nervous but I wouldn't show it. My father's room was at the end of the hall, he had been given a private room, something very rare here at St. Mungo's but I supposed being a war hero had its perks. Near the door was a guard, just in case. It was a young auror, with flaming red hair that I recognized right away.

"Fabian?" I asked. He turned and gave me a soft smile.

That was enough for me. I let go off Delilah's hand and started to walk faster, walking past the twins and my uncle, who had gone to pick us up at school. When I reached him, I hugged him, not really wanting to kiss him in front of everyone else. He hugged me back, giving me a soft kiss on my forehead.

"Why didn't you tell me you were here?" I questioned.

"There wasn't any time for me to tell you and I knew I'd see you here." he explained, looking down at me with a smile.

I thought for a moment. If he was here, then he wasn't out there doing dangerous missions. My siblings and James and my uncle reached us. My uncle patted Fabian on the shoulder, who nodded before his superior, before walking into the room without waiting for us. Ariadne and Christian, who had grabbed Delilah by the hand, did the same, not even sparing us a second glance. I ignored them. They didn't like Fabian much, simply because he was older than me.

"Does that mean you won't go in dangerous missions?" I wondered out loud.

"For a while, yes." He nodded before directing his attention to James. "How you doing, mate?"

"I'm good. You coming in, Mere?" James asked me, shaking his head so his hair would stay away from his eyes.

"Yes." I nodded.

I gave Fabian a soft peck on the lips, the promise of meeting him later staying in that one kiss, before taking a deep breath in and entering the room. Delilah had already made herself comfortable in Dad's bed, sitting at the foot of it with her legs folded Indian-style. The twins were laughing at something their uncle had said. My father was much better than I imagined. He was a little pale but other than that he looked perfect. My mum was currently having a little nap at one of the chairs from the room, she looked really peaceful.

"Hi, daddy." I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Glad to see you're better." I added, smiling at him.

"Glad to see you finally come in. I knew having Fabian be my guard would be a distraction." He joked, an indication that he was getting better and better. "how's school going? I heard you haven't exactly been playing nice." My father inquired and I found myself flushing as I sat close to him.

"Not my fault… I—he started it." I childishly pointed at James, whose face turned to a fake betrayed expression.

"Meredith!" James complained. "That's not fair; you're not supposed to tell on us."

"Well, I'm sorry but you are the ones who cut my hair off." I protested, crossing my arms across my chest and looking away, my hair swirling around as I twirled my head.

"Now, now, children, play nice." My father calmed us down, putting a hand on my arm.

"Sorry, dad." I mumbled, letting my hands fall to my side.

….

The next week was exam week at Hogwarts, which meant any drama we had was put on hold so we could focus. The term exams weren't as stressful as the final exams but they were hard nevertheless. Hogwarts wasn't only known for its parties; every exam and homework was a challenge for the student. Remus, the girls, Peter and I were currently at the Common Room, in front of the warm fire. This winter was getting colder by the minute. Lily and Remus were helping Peter, who had always had trouble with Potions. Mary and Alice were finishing up a project for Herbology whilst studying for History of Magic at the same time. Dorcas was stressed over Transfiguration and would scream at anyone who got closer than 2 feet from her. Sirius and James were off the radar since this morning, which was normal. They almost never studied, even if they were incredibly good at every last one of their subjects; instead, they spent their time creating fun chaos all around the castle. They had so much piled up detention because of that, that they wouldn't be able to finish it before their school career was over. I hadn't seen Marlene at all, hadn't even talked to her in at least three days. I couldn't care less.

Suddenly the portrait door snapped open and Marlene herself came in. _Speak of the devil,_ I thought bitterly, going back to my notes on Divination. I didn't even know why I was studying for Divination; I hadn't failed a class exercise in my entire life. I could have a Troll on my exam and it wouldn't matter, I'd still have an Outstanding.

"What did you do?" she yelled. It took me a minute to realize she was yelling at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked in a perplexed tone, putting my book away.

"Yes, you must have done something. There's no other logical explanation." She kept yelling.

"Mar, calm down. What happened?" Lily asked, her voice soothing.

"He broke up with me! In front of everyone in the hall! And it's your entire fault!" She pointed at me with a shaky finger, bordering on hysterical, and I was glad she hadn't taken her wand out yet.

"All right, why would that be my fault?" I asked, closing my book. "If anything it's yours. Maybe he just got bored of you." I added as an afterthought.

"Don't you dare." She finally got her wand out.

Everyone in the room had quieted down, although there were some murmurs. I sighed, getting up and taking my bag with me. Lily reached out a hand to grab my sleeve but I shrugged it off. The trust these people had in me was unbelievable. I wasn't going to do anything.

"Listen, Marlene, you've messed up this last month. Now, I'm still willing to forgive you. Don't ruin a great friendship for an idiot." I told her, making my way over to her.

She glared at me the entire time, not lowering her wand. In her eyes, I could see she was actually hurt. Reaching out, I took her wand away from her and put it in my pocket. She followed the move with her eyes but didn't do anything. Marlene McKinnon was well known for overreacting; I couldn't afford having her snap and scratch my eyes out.

"It's not fair." She mumbled.

"The fact that you fancied him a lot and he played you like a rag doll? No, it isn't fair but it also doesn't give you the right to yell at me. I'm innocent here. So, don't bother me anymore." I stated.

I turned to Remus, who was closest to me, and gave him her wand. My pointed look clearly stated: 'don't give it back to her until she calms down'. He gave me a slight nod. I slowly made my way upstairs to the dorms, wondering if I should put a protective spell on my four-poster so that Marlene wouldn't be able to jinx me.

Thursday afternoon, I finished my Divination test earlier than anyone, which meant I could leave if I wished so. I got up and went to Professor Grace's desk. I passed by James, whose eyebrows were so scrunched up together I thought they'd become one, and by Marlene, who divided her attention away from her exam long enough to shot me a glare. I ignored her.

"You're done?" Tobias asked, impressed.

"It was easy." I commented, giving him a smile.

"Your friends don't seem to believe so." He teased, smiling at the classroom fondly.

"That's because they don't have the gift." I gasped theatrically. "Anyway, we're all leaving tomorrow, so I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas." I added, bringing a little box out of my bag.

Professor Grace was, after Minnie, my favorite professor. He was not only incredibly smart, but I could tell him anything. He knew everything that was going on with the group and my family. He wasn't just my professor; he was like a guidance counselor. He grabbed the small light blue box with the white ribbon on top of it, a surprised look on his face.

"Thank you, Meredith; have a Merry Christmas, too." He wished.

I waved goodbye and left the room. Lily was already outside the classroom, waiting for me. She had a free period right now, which worked perfectly for me.

"Hey, little flower." I joked as we started to walk down the hall.

"Hello, Mere. Ready to go packing?" She asked, readjusting her bag on her shoulder.

Lily's parents, under my own parents' insistence, had allowed Lily to spend the entirety of Christmas vacations over at my house. James had almost had a coronary out of excitement, while Lily and I had spent the entire time talking about how fun it'd be for us to spend Christmas' Eve and New Year's Eve together. Lily had always spent summer over at my house but never Christmas.

"Yes, sure," I answered. I hadn't packed anything, honestly. My four-poster and trunk were a complete mess. "Have you packed yet?" I asked her, finding it weird that she hadn't.

"Of course I have, silly, but I'll be helping you pack." She cleared and I laughed, relieved. I would definitely need help.

Surprisingly enough, and definitely thanks to Lily's help, I was all packed and ready to go by three o'clock. Everyone was down at the Black Lake, in our usual spot, at least that's what Dorcas had told us when she went to the dorms to leave her school bag, so we headed that way. The group was there, laughing and not having a care about the world. Lily and I looked at each other before sprinting down the small hill, laughing freely, until we reached the beech tree. Under it, Remus and Mary were reading quietly, although I did notice the small glances they sent each other when they thought no one was looking. Just like it had happened throughout the week, Marlene was nowhere insight. Sirius and James were laughing uncontrollably at Peter, who somehow had his clothes backwards.

"Look who decided to join us!" Dorcas exclaimed happily as she walked to us.

"Yep, we came." I nodded with a smile on my face. It faltered slightly, though, when I noticed Alice wasn't around either.

"Then, we can start." James jumped in, forgetting all about Peter the moment Lily entered the picture.

"Start what?" Mary demanded from her spot under the tree.

"Well, it's the end of first term…" Sirius said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I avoided his face at any costs, still a little uncomfortable with our last conversation.

"So?" Lily questioned, crossing her arms over her chest.

"We have to jump into the lake!" Peter exclaimed happily, already taking his robe off and staying with only his pants and shirt. "We're all here!" he finished, pointing at each and one of us. Then he paused, as if realizing not all of us were really here. "Well, at least the ones who started the tradition." He amended, biting his bottom lip.

I looked down at my shoes, finding them incredibly interesting. I wished Marlene and Alice would be here, Marlene more so than Alice. But I understood her situation perfectly, the last thing she wanted was to see Sirius and I respected that. She had chose Alice as her shoulder to cry on and I also respected that, even if it hurt that she had dismissed the rest of us girls.

"Well, I am not jumping in the lake." Lily refused.

"Now, now, Lily flower, don't be like that. It's tradition, we can't break tradition." Sirius explained to Lily in a serious voice, dropping an arm around her shoulders.

They looked at each other for a few minutes, Lily's green eyes narrowing slightly, but as always, she caved.

"Fine, but I'm not jumping first. I already did that last year." She mumbled.

We then proceeded to point at anyone who crossed our line of sight as the first jumper. I refused to be so, even if everyone's eyes had fallen toward me. I had been last the year before, so technically I should be first now but I really didn't want to. At the end, Peter volunteered. We all watched as he discarded his school sweater and his Gryffindor tie next to his robe and shoes, before he neared a rock that we used as some sort trampoline. The area of the lake where we jumped was a small, parted area where almost nobody went to. It was still deep and large enough for all of us to have fun in, but the only way to access it was by jumping off of the small cliff made of the rocks that surrounded one side of the lake. The other sides were all forest.

"Come on, mate!" James urged from where we were all looking.

Peter nodded nervously but didn't move. Meanwhile, James had already discarded every piece of clothing that wasn't necessary to jump, even if he was the last jumper. That left him in only his pants and his buttoned down shirt, two of his buttons were opened. I noticed how Lily's focus went over to him while he got undressed, thinking nobody would see her. Finally and after many encouragements from us, Peter jumped, letting out a startled scream as the icy water hit his body. The weather wasn't cold enough for the lake to freeze, but I was certain the water was freezing cold. Remus went next, without a second of hesitation, knowing quiet well that it was better not to think about it.

"Let's get this over with, please." Mary whined as she took off her socking and left them at the pile of her own clothes.

"Right, want to jump together?" Dorcas asked her, covering her torso with her arms so she could protect herself against the cold wind.

Mary nodded and with that both girls started to run the small cliff and jumped, screaming and laughing at the same time. By then, the rest of us were laughing so hard, I was surprised we hadn't fainted for lack of breath. Lily was already only in her skirt and buttoned down shirt, excitedly waiting for her turn, apparently excited over this silly tradition. I wasn't so excited, though. I had taken off my shoes, stockings, tie and sweater but my robe was still tightly wrapped around me. I always got cold feet before jumping, even if I laughed loudly every time someone had to jump. Lily jumped delightedly while James clapped for her.

"Very nice done, Lily! I give you a ten!" he laughed. I was impressed when Lily shouted back a thank you.

"It's your turn, Mere." James sang as he made his way happily over to me. If I didn't know better, I'd say he was actually jumping and dancing around.

"Why are you so happy?" I questioned as I hesitantly took off my robe and let it fall to my feet.

"He's ecstatic because Lily is talking to him." Sirius explained.

He froze then, realizing it was the first time he talked to me directly after Tuesday's events. I nodded, not bothering to glare at him or anything. I had meant what I said and I wouldn't turn back on my words and look for a reason to fight him.

"Okay, here I go." I let in a deep breath before releasing it.

Despite of what I said, I didn't move. We were close to the cliff but I wasn't moving at all. James let out a laugh, knowing it would take me a few minutes to actually move, while Sirius even chuckled. Glaring at them half-heartedly, I started to slowly walk to the cliff. At one point I was close enough that I was able to see what the others were doing. They were swimming happily or splashing water at each other, apparently the cold forgotten. Their laughter bounced around the entire place. I smiled at them with something pretty close to nostalgia pressing down my chest.

"You are taking too long." I heard behind me before being lifted up and pushed over someone's shoulder.

"What? No, no, no!" I squealed, whirling and trying to get out of his hold.

James' was looking at us with his mouth hanging open and a weird look in his hazel eyes. I could only imagine how bizarre the sight must look to him: Sirius carrying me over his shoulder and forcing me to go to the end of the cliff. I imagined it must have opened a very well locked door to the past.

"There you go," Sirius said before taking my waist and throwing me over the cliff.

I let out an ear-deafening scream as I fell, covering my eyes with my hands and bracing myself for the impact of the icy water. The water, as usual, felt like thousands of knives against my delicate skin and it had me wondering why we had come up with this stupid tradition in the first place. My scream still echoed around the small area. I came out of the water with a gasp for air and to the laughter of my friends at the look on my face. Soon enough, there was another splash right next to me as Sirius jumped into the water.

"Bloody hell!" he exclaimed. "Is it me or does the water get even colder each passing year?"

"I think that's us getting older, actually." Dorcas commented as she swam over to us.

"Yeah, now that we're talking about water and stuff…" I commented before turning to Sirius with a killing glare. "Why the hell did you do that?" I screeched.

"You are in trouble, mister." Mary laughed.

"Run, padfoot!" Peter advised. "Run for your life."

"Well, at least, swim for your life." Lily corrected with a smile on her face.

Sirius at least had the decency to look genuinely scared. He started to swim away, to a secluded area of the lake where none of the others were. I followed him, wanting him to pay for shoving me into the water. I figured a few minutes being held under the water were a good enough punishment. After a few minutes of chasing and swimming around, I actually managed to find his shoulders and push downwards. Unfortunately, Quidditch and multiple hours of exercising made him stronger than me and I was only able to keep him under water for about five seconds, and I'm pretty sure that was because he allowed it.

"Meredith! What's that for?" he exclaimed, faking shock.

"What do you think?" I shot back, not actually angry at him, and splashing him some water.

He gasped, very unmanly of him, before splashing me back. We had a water fight for a few minutes before I got frustrated, besides I was losing. I was spluttering water but still trying to beat him.

"Oh, my God! I give up!" I laughed, trying to protect myself by using my hands as a shield. "Sirius, Stop!"

The reaction was almost immediate. He stopped throwing water at me and I kept laughing until I realized the shocked, almost scared look on his face. I slowly stopped laughing, lowering my hands so they were under water. Being under the water, we couldn't feel the cold as badly as when the wind hit any exposed, wet part.

"What?" I asked, laughter still etched to my voice.

"You… you called me Sirius." He pointed out, hesitant.

I was thrown back by the vulnerability that his eyes suddenly reflected. It only lasted a minute but I still saw it. I blinked; my smile dropping before it grew again.

"That's your name, isn't it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said slowly.

We looked at each other for a moment before he burst out laughing, making me laugh as well. I didn't know why I was laughing or why he was laughing, for that matter, but I knew that at least some of the tension between us had disappeared and I was very happy. Our laughter died down after a while, leaving us with that kind of atmosphere that makes you want to frame the moment and never let it go. _What in hell?_ I asked myself after that thought crossed my mind.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. I looked at him with a confused expression in my face. "I should've never cut your hair off."

My hand automatically went to my head, touching the ends of my hair. It had grown a bit but it was still short, barely touching my shoulders.

"It's okay, I kind of like it." I lied.

"You hate it." he pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, I do." I laughed, suddenly noticing how close we were. "What truly bothers me is the fact that your hair is longer than mine. Seriously, Sirius, cut it _now._" I shook my head, exasperated.

"No way, have you any idea of how much this bugs my mother?" he questioned.

"You don't live with her anymore, remember?" I pointed out, cringing the minute the words left my mouth.

This was ironic, I had told Reina not to mention his family and here I was doing exactly that. Sirius' face darkened slightly but other than that he didn't seem too bothered.

"Still, I'm not cutting it." he insisted, making me roll my eyes.

We stayed in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching as our friends splashed around and laughed. James was trying to talk to Lily by joining the conversation she and Remus were having. I smiled fondly at his attempts.

"Meredith?" I turned to look at Sirius again, a curious look on my face to tell him to continue. "I'm also sorry about what I said…" he trailed off, one of his hands finding his way to his neck. The boy looked about ready to throw up, I couldn't remember the last time I had seen Sirius this nervous.

"No, I'm sorry." I interrupted. "I was pressing you and—"

"No, but you were right." he confessed, his hand falling from his neck.

My head snapped back to him, my eyes widened and I was pretty sure that my mouth would have been open if that didn't mean water would enter my mouth. I practically jumped out of my skin when his hands found my shoulders, obviously a mechanism to make sure I didn't run for the hills before he got the opportunity to say what he wanted.

"You were right about everything, Meredith, and I denied it and hurt you even more." He mumbled, looking down.

"I forgive you," I whispered, suddenly very aware of my heart pounding against my ribcage. _Snap out of it, Meredith._ I scolded myself. My heart wasn't listening to my mind, though, because it kept beating incredibly fast, and neither was my mouth because words kept tumbling out of it. "For the ink rain, and my hair, and for dating one of my closest friends and dumping her, and for what you told me on Tuesday. Oh, and for throwing me off the cliff." I added, with a small laugh.

He chuckled, passing a hand through his damp hair. I kept paddling with my legs, trying to keep afloat. We were in a deeper part of the lake and I couldn't reach the bottom of it. Suddenly, I felt something against my leg and I let out a screech, jumping into the closest thing to me so my legs weren't around the mysterious thing. The closest thing happened to be Sirius, of course.

"Woah! What are you doing?" he asked, almost sounding alarmed.

"Something touched my leg!" I exclaimed, looking down at the water.

"It was probably a fish, Meredith, calm down." He laughed at me.

"A fish? A fish? We're in the black lake, Sirius, there are plenty of things here and I assure you most of them are _not_ fish." I snapped, still completely attached to his neck.

He chuckled, the sound vibrating in his chest, before looking at the side of my face. I wasn't paying attention, though; my eyes were still glued to the dark waters, wondering if whatever it was that touched me was still there. His fingers pushing back the hair that had stuck to my face snapped me out of my senses. I looked up, my nose accidentally hitting his. And I couldn't look away. My breath hitched in my throat, my heartbeat accelerated again but I simply couldn't move. His hand was still on my cheek, while the other was on my waist, keeping me secure. His gray eyes slipped past my eyes to my nose until they reached my lips.

I mirrored his movements, wanting to combust into a million little pieces, but at the same time I didn't want to move. He was going to kiss me, I knew it, I knew that look, it was the same look that had haunted my nightmares for months, and I was going to let him. All thoughts of our friends being next to us or Fabian or Marlene completely out of my mind, the only thing I was sure of was that he was getting even closer to me. This was wrong, I shouldn't be letting him do this but I didn't make any move to stop him. Instead, my eyes fluttered close on their own accord and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. His hand was now in the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him, when suddenly a splash of water fell on us.

I spluttered the water I had swallowed by accident before looking to my right, where James had dived into the water and provoked a huge wave that washed all over us. My face went from James, to our laughing friends (who hadn't noticed what almost happened between Sirius and I.) to Sirius, who looked almost as terrified as me.

"I'm gonna go, still have some things to pack." I mumbled, already swimming toward the shore and not waiting for his answer.

The entire walk over to the castle my mind kept replaying what happened at the lake, and every time it went to the almost-kiss part, my stomach would hurl in a weird way. Oh, no, this wasn't happening. It wasn't. I felt like that because Sirius and I had familiarity in some way, not because there were any stray feelings. I was with Fabian, I cared about him a lot, and he was sweet and a great person. Only when I was about to go to sleep did I realize that I had said I cared about Fabian, not that I loved him.

….

The next morning, all the students were meant to go back to their homes, with the exception of those who were staying at Hogwarts, of course. James, Remus, Sirius, Mary, Peter, Lily, Dorcas and I shared a compartment in the train, while Alice stayed with Marlene at another compartment. I was sad to admit my friendship with Marlene hadn't improved nor had it worsened. We didn't send mean comments at each other but we didn't acknowledge each other either. This made me even angrier; the problem was I didn't know who I was angrier at. Was I angrier at Marlene for going after my ex, my first everything, without asking me first? Was I angrier at Sirius for actually going after Marlene, my best friend, and dumping her without a valid reason, only to then confuse me to a no end? Or, was I angrier at myself for not being able to fully forgive either of them, Sirius, for everything that he had ever done and Marlene for treating me poorly over a boy? Lily knew this hurt me badly, and she claimed that Marlene was as equally hurt, but she hadn't taken any official sides. Although, considering she was sitting with me, I'd say she was siding with me. The drive back was filled with pranks and laughter, although every time my eyes and Sirius' crossed path and had to fight the urge to cry. Midway to London, it got the best of me and I had to excuse myself, mumbling something about having to go to the bathroom.

I, obviously, didn't go to the loo, I simply went to the last wagon where I knew nobody went. There, and once I made sure it was indeed empty, I leaned into the wall and slowly slid down until I touched the floor. I hated everyone and everything. I hated the fact that my dad was still on house repose, I hated Marlene for hating me, I hated Sirius for making everything even more complicated that it already was and I hated my friends for trying to pretend like they didn't see what was going on, I hated them for knowing the three of us were tearing each other apart and doing nothing about it. Because that was exactly what we were doing without even realizing it.

_I was running down the corridor that led to the dungeons, where potions class was held. I knew, after threatening James to tell me, that Sirius had class there right about now. The class period was going to end in five minutes and if I didn't hurry I wouldn't be able to catch him when he left. I accidentally slammed myself at the stone wall next to the classroom's door, panging with exhaustion. I had never run so fast in my life. When I was able to catch my breath, I stood up straight, fixing my skirt. After a few minutes, the door opened and the corridor started to fill with students, many of them noticed me and sent me weird glances, knowing full well that the only one of my acquaintances in that class was Sirius, and everyone knew we weren't exactly friends. _

_"Black!" I yelled when I noticed him walking away._

_He halted on his step and turned to face me, a sly smirk on his face as he recognized who had called him. I rolled my eyes and walked up to him, my books hugged tightly to my chest. _

_"Meredith, how may I be of service for you?" he mocked._

_"Don't mock me, I'm here on a serious matter," I said before pausing and adding: "Please, ignore the pun." _

_He snickered but did as I told him, not muttering a peep about the 'serious, Sirius' joke. We walked in silence for a few minutes, with me not really knowing where to start and with him most likely thinking I was some sort of unknown subject that had replace Meredith Potter, because 1) I never approached him willingly, at least not lately, and 2) I always had something to say. _

_"Why…" I started before my voice trailed off. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Why did you break up with Marlene? I thought things were going great." _

_He groaned before passing a hand through his incredibly long hair, it was almost longer than mine. I even considered sneaking into the boys' dorm and cutting his hair off as a favor more than a come back. But we all knew how that first prank war had ended and I wasn't about to endeavor myself in another one._

_"Is this why you're here? Did she send you to ask me?" he asked me, momentarily pausing in the corridor._

_I paused too, turning to face him and tilting my face upwards to meet his gray eyes. We received complains from the other students trying to get to their next class, some Slytherins even bumping into us on purpose just to bother us._

_"No," I snapped. "I came to ask because for some weird reason she seems to believe it's my fault, like everything else going in this castle." _

_I was tired of Marlene blaming me for everything, so I wanted to get the real reason out of him, so maybe I could get my friendship with Marlene back. I watched as Sirius froze for a moment before cursing colorfully under his breath. _

_"That's not what it is, Marlene is just being stupid." He commented quickly before walking away._

_I walked after him, catching up to him quickly enough. He clearly wanted me to catch up because I knew there was no way in hell I could outrun Sirius Black. _

_"You and I both know Marlene is many things but not stupid." I reprimanded, frowning at him. He simply didn't answer. "Listen, I don't want to be a Mary Sue but—"_

_"A what?" he interrupted with an expression that suggested he had just swallowed a lemon._

_"It's a muggle term," I explained. "It means I'm too perfect and everything revolves around me… which I'm not!" I added quickly when he opened his mouth to speak._

_"I know." He mumbled, frown still etched to his face._

_"Anyhow, Marlene is not the first person to suggest it's my fault that you broke up with someone. I just want to know the real reason so I can have my friendship with her back." I continued, slightly surprised at how disturbed about me being the center of attention he seemed to be. _

_"It doesn't matter, she won't listen to you. And I'm not telling you." He protested stubbornly, looking down at me. Once again we had stopped in the middle of the hallway._

_"Please, just tell me!" I exclaimed. _

_"No, and this conversation is over." _

_With that he left me there, walking quickly toward the staircase leading to upper ground. I didn't know what was into me, maybe James had slipped some fire whisky into my pumpkin juice, but I started to walk again toward him._

_"Yeah? Well, you want to know what I think?" I called after him. He didn't turn around but he did slow down. "I think you dated her because she reminds you of me! And once you realize she's pretty different, you dumped her. In fact, I'm 100 % sure you actually miss me." _

_By then I was already behind him, him having stopped in the middle of my little speech. Once I finished, he turned to face me, so fast I actually took a step back. Apparently I had angered him. Great, I had an angered Sirius Black in my hands and no witnesses around. Everyone had scattered away._

_"That's what you believe? Well, Meredith, I'm sorry to disappoint but it's got nothing to do with that." he spat at me. "But maybe you're the one who misses _me_ so much, you have to make up these weird statements." He added. _

_"Please, I don't even think of you." I rolled my eyes, dismissing the comment with a wave of my hand and dreading where this was going. This was dangerous territory and we both knew that._

_"Is that right? Then tell me something," he started, waiting until I looked at him to continue his sentence. "How come the moment you noticed me with her you stopped laughing at anything Fabian told you? How come you haven't even been able to say 'I love you' to anyone?" _

_I gasped, my eyes narrowing dangerously. So he had been spying on my date as much as I had been spying on his. But that wasn't what really bothered me, what did was his second question. The only people who knew that were Lily, whom I had told on Marlene's birthday, and Marlene herself, who had known since the very begging of my not-so-holy dating career. I couldn't believe she had told him._

_"That's got nothing to do with anything." I protested. "I'm a closed off person." _

_"Please," he scoffed, rolling his eyes at me and pulling his hair away from his eyes. "If anything you're too open." _

_Silence fell upon us once more as the weight of his words actually got to me. My frown disappeared as fast as it had appeared and I actually took a defeated step back. That was low blow and it had hurt more than I had ever thought it would. His faced eased back into an expression of something pretty close to disbelief as the meaning of his words were registered in his mind. He had no right telling me that, no reason why. _

_"You know," I said once I made sure I wouldn't cry. "I thought that if I fixed things with Marlene, we would all be happy again and stress-free. I thought that if I managed to do that, then maybe I could try to fix things with you, finally give James what he's always wanted: us as friends again. Clearly none of the things I just mentioned are going to happen." I finished, clearing my throat and turning back on my own footsteps._

_Before he could leave or I was too far away for him to hear me, I stopped and turned around, one last sentence in my lips._

_"I just wanted us to enter this war with clean slates; I guess it was too much to ask." With that last sentence I did leave him there, with a haunted expression in his face that didn't let me know if my words had gotten to him or if he was still horrified about calling me a whore to my face._

That had been Tuesday morning, after Marlene screamed at me for ruining her relationship with Sirius and it had left me thinking that things between Sirius and I would never be fixed. Sure, he'd fight anyone who dare speak ill of me but he would never be my friend again. But then, the accident at the lake had happened and it had left me very confused. I knew that feeling, that excitement when you wondered if someone was about to kiss you or not, and I also knew that look. But James had interrupted us by falling into the lake once more and we came to our senses, thank God. I was scared of knowing what would have happened if we hadn't been interrupted, but I was even more scared of the disappointment I had felt on my chest when the opportunity of kissing Sirius vanished. Because it was wrong, it was very wrong. I was with Fabian and I knew any relationship with Sirius wouldn't end up well for me. But both Sirius and Lily were right: I hadn't said 'I love you' to any of my boyfriends since Sirius and I was lying to myself by saying I loved Fabian. Because I didn't. I cared about him immensely, I would be devastated if something were to happen to him but I knew I wasn't in love with him. I didn't know what was going on here, but I knew that someone was going to end up seriously hurt. Marlene was already out of the game and I couldn't help but wonder if I would be next. Considering where I was right now, I'd dare say I'd probably end up with another broken heart to nurse. Not to mention the pending war hanging over our heads that all of us were happy to ignore.

_**A/N: okay, here's the new chapter. Finally a semi confession of... I don't know... love? anyway, I've been planning this chapter since forever. now that that's kind of out of the way, I'll focus more on the other character's relationships. I feel like I've neglected Remus and James lately. Also, if you feel like this is too centered on Meredith and Sirius, well, it is a Sirius/ OC so that's kind of the reason why it revolves around those two. chapter 10 is not written yet and it'll probably take a while but I'll give you a clue: it's the Christmas party! lots of fluff regarding James and Lily. that's all I'm gonna reveal. love you all,**_

_**me.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter 10:_**

"Christian! Open the damn door!" I shouted, knocking on the door furiously. "You've been there for hours and I need to get ready!"

"No!" he shouted back, the sound of the water running in the background and the steam from the shower leaking from down the door. "Use your own bathroom!"

I huffed, before leaning on the door. It was December 24th, Christmas' Eve, and tonight was Aunt Drea's party. Lily was currently taking a shower in my bathroom, which meant I had to use the other one. Christian, unfortunately, was using the other bathroom and was taking forever. I hated this, I hated having to come home and deal with the badly-behaved twins. Delilah's head pocked out of her bedroom's door, her hair wasn't tied so it cascaded down over her shoulder.

"Hey, he left you out again?" she asked sympathetically.

"Yes, and Lily is still showering on mine. What about you?" I asked, hoping she'd lent me her shower.

"I'm sorry, Mere, but I'm about to take a bath now. I was wondering, though, if you could do my hair later. I want those pretty ringlets you had in the party two years ago; mum says I'm old enough to have that hairdo now." She explained, biting down on her bottom lip.

"Of course, sweetie, you let me know when you're done showering." I nodded, stepping back from the door.

Delilah closed the door and I walked back to my room, defeated. There I found a frustrated-looking Lily, wearing a white fluffy robe and her red hair down, still damped and darkened by the water. She was frowning deeply at my bed, where two beautiful dresses were laid on. I frowned myself when I realize her hair was still dripping droplets of water all over the white wooden floor.

"Flower, not that I don't love having you here or anything but, what the hell are you doing?" I asked, crossing my arms. "You'll ruin the floor."

She looked up, startled. Apparently, she didn't think I would appear into the room any time soon. Her cheeks started to get pink and I lifted an eyebrow at her jumpiness.

"Sorry, it's just—I don't know which dress to wear." She pouted, looking at both dresses on the bed.

"Sweetie, the party is five hours away." I reminded her with a laugh.

"I know, but I've never been to a party like this before and I'm a tad nervous." She admitted, biting her lip.

I giggled again, lacing my arm with her and turning to the bed. The two dresses were completely different. The one in the right was pitch black, with an intricate corset-like bodice with shiny little rocks that faded at the waist and a skirt that fell like water through fingers until it reached the floor, the fabric was silk with something else I didn't know the name of. The other dress, however, was as white as snow and had a low neckline. It didn't look slutty or too revealing at all, though. It tied at the neck, sleeveless and showing part of her upper back, and it had a cream-colored belt right below the chest; like the other, the dress reached the floor and it was made of Chiffon and Burano Lace. Both dresses were beautiful and unique in their own way. I asked Lily to try both on and she did, modeling both outfits around the length of my room. She complained about how the first one was too uncomfortable when it came to sitting, while she was worried people would be able to see her underwear through the other.

"I like the white one better." I signaled from my vanity's seat. "If anything, you can put on white underwear and nobody will see it. Although, I assure you, you can't see anything." I assured.

"Yes, I think I like this one better too." Lily nodded, moving around in front of the mirror and watching how the skirt moved around with the motion.

I smiled, knowing about someone else who would like the dress. James would be ecstatic. The dress was so white, Lily's pale skin actually looked rosy; it also made her red hair stood out, I knew James loved Lily's hair. And after I was done with her make-up, her green eyes would be the only thing anyone would be able to see.

"Do you want me to start with your make-up? I have to do Delilah's hair later and I might not have time to do your make-up as well." I asked her.

"Oh, no. Don't worry, I can do that myself." She dismissed, still worrying her lip with her teeth.

I frowned at her nervousness once again. What was it with Lily today? Not only today, but the entire time we'd been back home she'd been nervous about the ball or about us hanging out with Sirius and James. I walked up closer to her in the mirror, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Lils, is everything all right?" I asked, concerned.

"Yes. Why would you think something is wrong?" she asked me, her eyes widening.

"I don't know; you've been acting weird." I frowned.

Her entire face softened, apparently touched by my concern. She turned to face me fully, her hands in her hips and a blinding smile plastered to her face.

"You're concerned about me? That's nice." she beamed and I blinked, confused about the mood swing. "But—I'm fine, truly. And to prove that to you, you _can_ do my make-up."

I relaxed at that, clapping my hands together and leading her up to my vanity where I forced her to plop down on the seat. I hovered around her for a long time, making sure everything was perfectly done. Every once and then, she'd flinch and move a hand upwards but I'd slap it away. After the second slap, she didn't even let out a peep of protest.

"All right, can I at least have a say on my hair?" she asked with her eyes closed as I worked with dark-green eye shadow. I knew this would be so much easier to be done with magic, but I was still 16. My birthday didn't come until February, so I'd have to wait.

"Well, I already had a hair-do on mind…" I trailed off, trying to at least sound a bit bad about it. I didn't.

"Oh, my God! Mere, that's not fair." She pouted while I giggled.

"My home, my rules." I joked, finishing with her make-up. "Don't open your eyes until I'm completely done." I ordered, already moving to her hair.

I brushed it and brushed it until it shimmered and fell softly down her back. Then I really went to work: my hands moved quickly around her hair, taking small strands and moving them over another. Every now and then, my eyes would go over to the clock sitting in my nightstand. The Ball started at seven thirty and lasted until morning, it was four thirty. That only gave me three hours. I finished her hair in minutes. She had a braid that circled her head so it looked like a little crown and the rest of her hair cascaded down her back.

"I'm done!" I exclaimed. "You can open your eyes and thank me later!"

With that I opened the door and rushed down the hallway to Delilah's room, hearing Lily's 'thank you' and her laughter after me. I knocked on her door quickly before entering.

"Okay, Delilah, you owe me big time." I mumbled. I looked up to find that her hair was still in a towel and that she was only wearing her fluffy white robe. Fortunately, though, Ariadne, already dressed and ready, was doing her make-up. "Oh, thank God, you're here, Ari." I let out a breath as I leaned into the door.

She turned to look at me, her smile leaving her face the moment she realized I was still in my pajama pants and oversized knitted sweater. Ariadne was gorgeous: her make-up accentuated her lips, her best feature, and her golden dress fitted to her body until it spread out in her calf. Delilah's dress was hung up on the closet's door. It was a pretty simple purple dressed, which skirt flied around when she moved and that reached to her knees.

"Why are you not dressed?" Ariadne demanded, getting up and looking at me like she was about to murder me.

"I was helping Lily with her hair and make-up." I exclaimed in defense.

"What? No, Meredith, that's not how it works. You are a Potter, the ball is hosted by another Potter. Do you know what that means, sister?" Ariadne asked me, pointing at me with her wand.

"I suppose it means—" I started but she cut me off.

"You are supposed to look strikingly beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, goddess-like…" she trailed off. "Do you want any other synonyms?"

I shook my head, exasperated. "I have no one to impress, Ari. Besides, I've been working on a plan to get James and Lily together since summer and it all comes down to tonight! That means Lily has to be all the synonyms you mentioned earlier." I hissed back.

Ariadne's anger dissipated as soon as it had appeared. She lowered her wand, a pensive look on her face.

"Oh, that's… nice, I suppose." She nodded, moving over to our little sister again. "Get started on her hair, then." She ordered as she went back to her seat by Delilah.

I sighed but did as told, pulling away the towel on my sister's head and brushing the dark strands of hair.

"Wait… Fabian will be there, won't he?" Ariadne stopped her work for a minute to look at me.

"Yes, but only for a few hours. He's having dinner with his family." I mentioned, ready to start curling Delilah's hair.

"So you _do_ have someone to impress!" she complained, getting up and taking me by my arm. "Get out of here, go get ready!" she exclaimed, opening the door.

"But, who is going to make my hair?" Delilah asked from her seat, worried.

"You shut it!" Ariadne snapped at her before loudly closing the door on my face and locking it.

I laughed and walked back to my room, where Lily was still awing at herself in the mirror. She turned to look at me with a bright smile, her green eyes sparkling, as she waltzed to my side and hugged me.

"Thank you! You are the best-_est_ best friend ever." She exclaimed.

"I doubt 'best-est' is a word but all right." I laughed, moving over to the bathroom so I could finally take my shower. "I might take a while, Lils, so you can leave with Ari when she's done with Delilah." I mentioned as I closed the door.

Lily answered me with a 'sure' that was muffled by the white wooden door. I knew somewhere in the house, my mother was freaking out because she couldn't find her pearls—something that seemed to happen every year. I honestly believed Chris hid them.—while Dad would be trailing behind her and trying to convince her of wearing another piece of jewelry—'honey, you'll look lovely in anything.'—and she would rant about how those pearls went with everything and she couldn't wear something else without changing her attire. I could easily imagine James freaking out about _Lily Evans_ going to his house, walking around his room and constantly running his hands through his hair and with his tie undone. He'd probably be babbling about how it was _the_ Lily Evans and how everything had to be perfect because she had to fall for him tonight, while Sirius probably laughed at him and tried to encourage him to try and not throw up on Lily when he saw her. I stifled a laugh as I started to shower, the hot water making me flinch. I got used to it, however, and started to lather my hair. One thing I would never, _ever_, admit out loud: having shorter hair made the entire process of 'lather, rinse, repeat' much easier. I stood out of the shower and went out to my room, where I realized Lily wasn't there anymore.

After putting on my underwear, I sat on my vanity and looked at my damp hair. I hoped that, by next month, it'd reach my shoulders but for now, it still hung in the air, moving every time my head moved. I put my elbow on the vanity and leaned my chin on my hand, staring at my reflection. I knew what to do with my make-up but I had no idea what to do with my hair. I had never had it so short; the most I cut it was to my shoulders. I passed a comb through it, following the motion with my eyes. I started with my make-up, using golden and brown eye-shadow to make my honey brown eyes stand out. When I was finished, my eyes looked almost liquid gold. My lips had pink lip gloss. I sighed, glaring at my hair. All right, I had a great make-up, what to do with my hair? My eyes wandered off to the clock. 7:00 P.M. where had the time go? I started to contemplate multiple scenarios where my aunt didn't kill me for showing up late. In some, I didn't even show up and simply spent Christmas Eve's by myself.

I shook my head. No, that wasn't happening. I had been going to this thing since I was in diapers, I wasn't going to stop going now. I decided to leave it in its natural ringlets, putting bobby pins in both sides so it wouldn't fall on my face. When my hair curled, its upward part was straight but as it went down it started to curl without being too frizzy. It shortened a little bit more but I'd have to stick with it.

My dress consisted of a scarlet corset with an intricate thin golden pattern that tied in the back and a taffeta dark red skirt. The skirt reached the floor and had several black organza layers underneath. I straightened the skirt and looked at myself in the mirror: my heels weren't so high so I didn't look like a giant, my make-up and dress were perfect and my hair didn't look bad. I didn't love it but I knew everyone would. I took in a deep breath and let it out, ready to go to probably the longest ball in history.

…..

"You are late." A voice reached me as I took a sip from my glass of water.

I turned to find my uncle, giving me a kind smile.

"Uncle," I said before hugging him. "Thanks for pointing that out."

He chuckled, before grabbing me from the shoulders and giving me a once over. I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

"You look just like your mother when she started dating your father." He shook his head, amazed.

"Thank you, Uncle." I smiled.

He suddenly frowned, looking around before looking back at me.

"Why are you alone?" he questioned.

"Oh, um… I literally just got here and… Fabian hasn't arrived yet. I can't find Lily, actually." I nodded as I started to look around the big garden where the party was taking place.

The place was huge, filled with tables and a dance floor and a considerably big stage where a band was playing. There was food and drinks and a beautiful Christmas tree, one that was as tall as the one they put in Hogwarts. I saw almost every member of my family—which wasn't difficult considering it only consisted of those who lived in my house and James' parents—except for James, the one member I wanted to find. Just then, Aunt Drea found us, giving her husband a kiss and turning to hug me.

"Oh, you're finally here, darling!" she gushed. "You look gorgeous."

"Thank you, Aunt Drea." I smiled. "Have you seen Lily?"

"No, I haven't. But my boys are right over there." She signaled to some point behind me.

I nodded but didn't turn. Boys, as in plural, meant James and Sirius and I did not want to face the latter. Things were still incredibly awkward between us; I preferred it when we hated each other. Now, it was like we had broken up again.

"Thanks," I said with a strayed smile. Just then, my eyes spotted Fabian entering the garden. "There's my boyfriend." I pointed at him, both my aunt and uncle turned to him. "I'll see you later. Merry Christmas." I added as I moved away from them.

Once I reached Fabian, I gave him a bright smile, rolling on the heels of my feet. He laughed and shook his head at my silliness, before taking a stride toward me and kissing me. It took me by surprise for some weird reason, but I kissed back just as eagerly.

"What was that for?" I laughed.

"I missed you. Can I kiss my girlfriend if I missed her?" he asked me, his arms still around my waist.

"No, of course you can." I shook my head, my hands on his neck. "In an orderly fashion." I added teasingly.

"I apologize, then, my lady, for my improper behavior." He teased back, effectively making me laugh.

"Ah, I missed you." I sighed as I shook my head and hugged him again. I stepped back and grabbed his arm, turning to face the garden. "Welcome to the Christmas Ball hosted by the grandiose Potters, the best Wizarding Family ever." I announced, moving my other hand to display what this ball had to offer.

"On the right hand, you'll find the elderly tables," I continued, smiling when I heard him chuckle. "I recommend you to avoid it unless you want to hear stuff about the 1800's. Although, the Skeeters sit there and they have great stories from the 20's."

"Yeah, I'll avoid that part." he shook his head.

"Okay, now the northern part of the place," I continued. "Near the band, that's our place. See? All the teenagers and young adults hanging happily."

Those who were around our age were indeed in that part of the garden. I could easily spot my two friends and Sirius, whatever he was of mine. James was nervously keeping a conversation with Lily, Ariadne standing between the two, most likely to make sure he didn't ruin it and Lily didn't kill him. I doubted I had ever seen James so twitchy. Sirius was—would you look at that?—flirting with one of the guest's daughters. I think her name was Raquella and, for a change, she was brunette. I turned my eyes immediately.

"Where are the rest of your friends?" Fabian asked.

"Oh, well, Remus is at home and so is Peter. They're coming for New Year's, though. Dorcas is off to Paris and Mary is in Dublin visiting some relatives. I don't know where Marlene is." I ended with a small voice, looking down.

I hadn't heard from Marlene at all since we had left Hogwarts. I missed her but I was a little mad at her. She was the one to blame, not me. I was done feeling guilty. He moved his arm to my shoulders and brought me to him. I noticed with a worried pang that the action did not give me butterflies at all. It comforted me, yes, but it didn't make me nervous or excited.

"She's still not talking to you?" he asked me.

"It's okay. Enough about me, how are things with the Order and else?" I wondered.

"No, it's Christmas. Let's not talk about war; I talk to you about it way too much for your own good already." He denied. His eyes then moved to the dance floor, a cheeky smile on his face. "Let's dance."

I giggled and followed him to the dance floor, where a slow song was playing. My arms made their way to his neck, one of my hands in the nape of his head, while he circled me with his arms. He kissed my temple; I closed my eyes. The music surrounded me, enveloped me. I refused to open my eyes. Opening my eyes meant reality. It meant noticing how there were a few families missing, recurrent guest that hadn't been able to come thanks to the lost of a loved one to war. It meant meeting Black's silver gray eyes from across the room and reliving the haunting memory of our near-kiss experience. I wasn't ready for that; I didn't think it'd ever be ready for that. Instead, I kept my eyes close, swaying to the beat of the song and smiling softly. I had a lot I should be thankful for; I didn't need to get anxious.

"Fabian?" I asked, not really knowing where my track of thought was going.

"Yes?" he asked back.

"Have you heard anything from the Greene family?" I opened my words when the words left my mouth, surprised about even asking such a thing.

I remembered predicting the Greene's would die but I hadn't thought about it since that very same day. I didn't even understand why I asked about that.

"Um… no, I haven't." Fabian answered, a frown clear in his head. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know." I answered slowly.

…

After kissing Fabian goodbye, I made my way back to the garden, looking for James and Lily. People around me were eating and laughing and drinking but all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. I found Lily by one of the fountains in one corner of the garden. She was sitting in the fountain, looking at the party with a smile on her face. I plopped down beside her with a sigh.

"Does your dress weight as much as mine? I want to take it off." I complained, adjusting my skirt with my hand.

"Meredith Potter!" she gasped in mock horror. "Are you saying you're bored of using a beautiful dress? What's gotten into you?" she asked.

"Very funny," I laughed sarcastically. "So, why are you here instead of back there?" I nodded toward James, who was sitting in a table with Sirius and frowning as he ate a piece of chocolate pie.

"Because there's so much of Potter I can take in one night." She informed me.

"Oh, come on! He's been nothing but a gentleman." I complained, pouting at her.

"I know." She admitted but her tone of voice suggested that was the very reason why she couldn't sit with him.

"Is that why you haven't wanted to spend time over at his?" I asked curiously.

Lily hesitated. She looked down at her folded hands and started to pick at her nails before looking up at me.

"I did that for you, actually." She admitted.

"Me?" I asked, confused.

"Meredith… I saw what happened at the lake." She confessed. "Or... What almost happened." She corrected.

_Oh, my God_, I thought as I stared at her in horror. This wasn't happening. She saw? Oh, I was dead. Of course she had seen! That explained why she had been so awkward in the train ride home and always tried to make sure Sirius and I weren't together for more than ten minutes. I thought it was because she didn't want to be with James, it never crossed my mind that she was doing this for my benefit. Ugh, this was the worst Christmas present ever. I looked over at Sirius before my eyes turned back to Lily.

"Lily—why—how—?" I babbled, not knowing what to ask.

"I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if he did it because he really fancies you or because he was being Black and… well, you didn't tell me and I supposed it was because you don't want people to know… and then there's Marlene and Fabian." She explained further.

"And you've been avoiding them, your friends, for me?" I asked again.

"Well, yes. Potter and Sirius may be my friends but you are my best friend." She shrugged like it was obvious.

"You're the best person ever!" I gasped, leaning in to hug her. "Don't worry about me, Lils, I'll fix things with Black at some point. I'm fine." I mumbled against her shoulder, my eyes finding Sirius again.

This time, though, he was looking over at me. I looked away, hating how my stomach clenched at the mere idea of his eyes on me. Why did this happen to me?

"If you're fine, why haven't you talked to him at all?" she asked as we ended our hug. _Good point well made_, I thought.

"I… don't know." I admitted. Just then my favorite song started to play: it was a beautiful slow song full of violins and piano, the singer had a very soft voice that made the song even more peaceful. I got an idea. "I'll talk to him now if you dance with James now."

She groaned before laughing. I blinked and laughed as well, not believing that _Lily Evans_ was not complaining about _slow_ dancing with _James Potter._ This was definitely a bizarre Christmas.

"Very well, tell him to ask me." she nodded. "There's no way I'm asking him."

"Seems fair to me."

I jumped to my feet, waving at Lily and making my way to the two boys. James moved his hand toward Sirius, his eyes widened, and ended up slapping him on the chest repeatedly. Sirius backed off, pushing him on the process with his hand. These two were anything but subtle, I realized with amusement.

"Hello, boys." I greeted as I stood in front of them, interrupting James' ogling of Lily sitting in the fountain.

"Cousin!" James said excitedly as he grabbed my arm and started to shake it. "What did she say? Does she fancy me already? Tell me, tell me, tell me." he demanded.

"Shut it, James." I snapped, rolling my eyes. "Actually, you hear this song? It's my favorite song." I tilted one finger in the air. "And I wanted you to dance with Lily to it. Now, go ask her."

"You're serious?" he asked, sitting straight up in his seat.

"Yes, but you better go ask her now before the song ends." I signaled for him to leave but he simply sat there, smiling goofily at me. "James, go!" I laughed, pulling at him until he got up.

"You're the best cousin ever." He gushed at me before soundly kissing my cheek and walking to Lily.

My eyes traveled from my cousin and best friend talking to Sirius Black, who was actually quiet. I knew a quiet Sirius wasn't exactly a good thing. What was I supposed to say? 'I haven't talked to you since school because you tried to kiss me and I was ready to let you'? no, that wouldn't go right.

"Hey," I said_. Good, Meredith, that's a conversation starter,_ I thought sarcastically.

"Hey," he said back.

"Um, can we… talk?" I asked. "Inside?" I added once I realized how many people were near us, people who went to Hogwarts.

"All right." he nodded.

We started to walk to the house in silence. So far so great. It could be worse but at least we weren't yelling at each other… yet. Turned out, the house was full of people as well. I groaned inwardly. I just wanted a little privacy, was it too much to ask? It was my house, after all. He seemed to be thinking the same because, without a word, he made for the stairs. I followed him to his bedroom. I had never been here before; at least, I didn't think so. The entire place screamed Sirius Black. It had a surprisingly messy desk in one corner of the room, which, by the looks of it, was used more as somewhere to dump everything than somewhere to work. In one of the walls were posters of both muggles and magical sports and one or other band. The window gave a clear view of the garden and the music travelled all the way up here, which was good because then the cringe-worthy silence could be ignored. I found amusing how after moving away from home, he still had posters of muggle things. He still took muggle studies. I wondered if it was because he wanted to annoy his family without seeing them or if he truly liked muggle things. I didn't know. And it that moment, it hit me: I had been bragging around saying how I knew Black perfectly but, in reality, I didn't know a thing about him anymore.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked, flopping down on his bed.

I whirled around from the window to face him, knowing that if I didn't get this out of my system now, I never would. "Why did you try to kiss me? Don't say you didn't because you did!" I pointed my index finger at him, daring him to say otherwise.

"I don't know." He shrugged.

"Now, don't lie because that's—wait, what?" I stopped and added, scrunching up my nose.

"I don't know. It seemed like the right time so I kissed you." He explained.

My blood was boiling. I could kill him right now, what a dog. I crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes dangerously at him, waiting for him to catch up to what he did. He looked up after a moment, his eyes widening at the murderous look on my face.

"I mean—"

"Shut up before I kill you and let me do the talking." I snapped, glaring at him.

He nodded and I sat down beside him. Right, so this wasn't going as planned. Suddenly, I wished I was Lily dancing downstairs and not myself sitting with someone I didn't know anymore while the air got thicker and thicker around us. Downstairs, my favorite song had already ended and another one had started.

"Meredith? I thought you were going to talk?" he asked.

"Yes… I just don't know what to say," I said slowly. He chuckled and I let out a frustrated groan as I passed my hand through my hair, the bobby pins falling. "How did we end up here?" I asked, falling down on the bed and staring at the ceiling.

"I believe you wanted to talk." He pointed out with a teasing tone. There was the Sirius Black I knew.

"Don't mock me, Black." I snapped. He raised his eyebrows before lying down beside me.

"Sorry, Potter." He replied, although it was obvious he didn't mean it.

"Okay, okay," I started a little nervously as I turned my head to look at him. "What if—what if we start over? We forget everything and start over like it's our First year again. I mean, we already established we actually miss each other, it'd be great to be friends again." I suggested.

"That'd be nice." He nodded. He got up and pulled me by my hand until I was standing in front of him. "I'm Sirius Black."

"Meredith Potter. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sirius." I shook his hand, my tone a teasing serious.

"It sure is," he said as he got closer.

I held my hand up and pushed his face away with pursed lips. "No flirting with your friends, Black." I warned.

"Right."

"Let's go downstairs before James and Lily think we killed each other." I teased, moving to the door.

He grabbed my wrist to stop me and I turned around, a questioning look on my face. The only answer I got was him pulling me closer to hug me. My surprise only lasted a second before I returned the hug, putting my arms around his waist and resting my head in his chest. This was _definitely_ the weirdest Christmas ever.

"Marlene will combust into a million pieces when she sees us acting civil." I suddenly laughed.

"Yes, she will." he agreed.

Then the door opened, revealing a frantic-looking James Potter. He halted on the door, his eyes widening even more and his glasses tilted to the side. I snorted and shook my head as I stepped out of the hug and moved to him. His mouth was hanging open and he didn't move as I fixed his glasses and robe.

"James," I said before passing past him and into the hall. "See you around, Black." I called over my shoulder.

The door closed behind me, James obviously wanting to press Sirius for any kind of information. Just before I started to make my way down the stairs, I heard a distinctive shout from Sirius' room.

"Oi, Padfoot! What was that about?" James shouted.

I laughed. Yes, those two were everything but subtle.


End file.
